Gypsie Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 I seem to be having trouble in the dating/relationship world lately. I never have a problem attracting a guy, but they always seem to lose interest in me too quickly. Before this never bothered me because I younger but now I am in my early 30's and want to settle down it does bother me. I would like to know what are the factors that make men lose interest in a woman. Here's a bit about me so that it can help you give me advice more accurately. I am 31 years old, have had my share of serious and casual relationships, and don't carry too much emotional baggage and talk about my past. I work in Admin, so I have a good job and like to think I am smart enough to hold a good conversation. Most people think I am independent and strong. Physically, I have been told I am attractive. I also have a slim figure. My personality I have been told is shy at first but then really fun. Have a pretty good social life and have no problems at all in that department. Sexually I have been told I am really good in bed. I have had an equal number of situations where I sleep with the guy right away and some where I wait. It doesn't seem to make a difference. The only thing that the guys I am dating have in common is ME, so it must be something I am doing wrong! Can anyone (particularly men) please give me some insight on this? I want the truth, even if it is something that I, or women in general, may not want to hear!
Author Gypsie Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 I seem to be having trouble in the dating/relationship world lately. I never have a problem attracting a guy, but they always seem to lose interest in me too quickly. Before this never bothered me because I younger but now I am in my early 30's and want to settle down it does bother me. I would like to know what are the factors that make men lose interest in a woman. Here's a bit about me so that it can help you give me advice more accurately. I am 31 years old, have had my share of serious and casual relationships, and don't carry too much emotional baggage and talk about my past. I work in Admin, so I have a good job and like to think I am smart enough to hold a good conversation. Most people think I am independent and strong. Physically, I have been told I am attractive. I also have a slim figure. My personality I have been told is shy at first but then really fun. Have a pretty good social life and have no problems at all in that department. I have no kids as well! Sexually I have been told I am really good in bed. I have had an equal number of situations where I sleep with the guy right away and some where I wait. It doesn't seem to make a difference. The only thing that the guys I am dating have in common is ME, so it must be something I am doing wrong! Can anyone (particularly men) please give me some insight on this? I want the truth, even if it is something that I, or women in general, may not want to hear!
FitChick Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 At least you are self-aware enough to know you are in control of this situation. However, you are the only one with the answer. Do you sabotage? Do you criticize? Do you get close and when they respond, back off confusing them so they back off? You need to know what you are doing. Then ask yourself what you believe about yourself, men and relationships that has you running this pattern constantly. Watch a session of the to see how you might fix this problem.
Author Gypsie Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 No I do not critisise and nag at all. Could it be that maybe I am to nice? It is just so frustrating. I am kind of seeing someone now. It seemed to be going well. He even invited me up to QLD for a weekend and stuff. Paying for everything when I got up there. Saw him a few times since then and then it just evaporated into nothing. . I honestly do not know where I went wrong. We got along great, we have great chemistry. Now it feels like I am getting nothing from him. Barely hear from him. He does not hang around. Just so sick of men getting my hopes up and then crushing them.
Scottdmw Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Is it possible you are dating mostly men who have many options that they see as equally or more attractive? Men like that might be happy to have a casual relationship especially if it includes sex or the possibility of it, but not want to give up their other options. Women can face a dilemma here because the men they find most attractive usually do have a lot of options, those men are usually the most attractive to all the other women also. Men, much more than women, enjoy the opportunity to date and have sex with several women at the same time, so many men will do this if they can get away with it. If that's the problem, your best bet might be to find a man who is “unskilled” at starting relationships, flirting, etc., but is still a great man otherwise. The only problem would be to get beyond the lack of initial strong attraction that you might be used to and expecting. You might still be able to have a great relationship after giving such a man more of a chance than you are used to.
FrustratedStandards Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 You say that you have been told you are strong and independant, and good in bed. So what about those relationships? If they got past a month or two, then its something down THAT line that bothers them. I once dated a guy like that. He was nice, good in bed etc and all the qualities you possess, but he was BORING. I would ask his opinions on stuff, and he would always answer "i don't know". I would ask about his childhood, he wouldn't have anything to say. He never SPOKE and I got so bored with him. The reason I am throwing this suggestion out there is that you say you are "too nice". Too nice in my vocabulary means you always adjust to the guy, do what he wants to do, always try to make him happy without bringing in your own interests and opinions. Could that be it?
Author Gypsie Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 The reason I am throwing this suggestion out there is that you say you are "too nice". Too nice in my vocabulary means you always adjust to the guy, do what he wants to do, always try to make him happy without bringing in your own interests and opinions. Could that be it? It could be and I have been like that in the past. I have been trying to be different with this new guy. More vocal about things and stuff but it does not seem to work. We are supposed to be catching up tomorrow to chat about things. Any good advice to not portray this? I don't think the outlook will be good though cause we don't seem to be much of anything lately. Hence why I am expecting the worst. Any tips appreciated.
FrustratedStandards Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 I suggest you voice your opinions, and don't be afraid to disagree! Men love a challenge anyways. Debate with him on various topics, let him get a piece of your mind and see how you think. Contrary to popular belief, a woman can be smoking hot, but if she doesn't have much of a brain or opinion, she becomes boring and uninteresting. But combine a hot woman with one who knows what shes talking about, and one who knows how to voice an opinion and back it up, THATS what gets them going. Pick something controversial. Like abortion. Ask him, "what do you think about abortion" and voice your opnions in that. Your beliefs and philosophies will come out, and before you know it you've been talking for hours.
Author Gypsie Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 I do remember when this guy and I were away. He invited me for a weekend away a few weeks ago. Paid for everything except the flight. We were up talking about random **** all night and that seemed fine. The last two times not so much. Will have to do that. Especially tomorrow. If he even shows up. . I honestly do not think I have been that bad with him though. Have spoken up about things that have got on my nerves once or twice and been agreeable at other times as well.
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