Mixed signals from my ex

[Hulk1]

Me and my ex was together for 8 yrs until 4 weeks ago when she told me she wasn't in love with me anymore and her head had been turned by someone else. I had been having a lot of problems at work etc and had been taking them out on her and neglecting her needs, I made her feel unloved and unwanted. 1 week before we split dome guy added her on Facebook and started flirting with her telling her how beautiful etc she is. 5 days after we split she jumps into bed with this guy (not like her) and they have met up about 5 times since she says it's just unattached sex and a bit if fun but I think she's throwing her self at him to occupy her time and mind from us! He on the other hand i think is playing her! We are still having to live together until we can sell the house but we are in seperate bedrooms.

We had a massive row the other night due to him texting and I left and stayed out the night I returned home to find her in my bed on my side cuddling my pillow! She got defensive and told me to not text her and keep out of each others way. 4 hrs later she's texting me? The same day I returned from the gym and went upstairs to watch a film out the way and she followed and asked could she watch it, the next night she went out snd came home drunk got on my bed and cuddled me for ages snd then got upset saying where did we go wrong and I loved you so much etc. She then said I need to go and went in the spare room.

The next night she asked could she sleep in my bed as she missed her side and our bedroom, I agreed and again she spent the night cuddling me! This rebound guy texts all the time and it drives me insane! We spent the next day together and then she went all weird and said I've spent to much time with you and went off in a mood?

I have aranged to go out this weekend and she has asked if she can come I have agreed and she is excited and went and bought a new dress??! We are going to see my nephews and family tonight as she misses them.

She's says she wont get back with me as you can't go back you can only go forward but her behaviour this last week is confusing me?!

The beginning of the split she was cold and nasty! She also said the other night that even though I don't think it her head is a mess and she's confused!

Am I being played or do you think she genuinely doesn't know and is misding us??

[Chi townD]

Question is, what do you want to do? I mean, How would she feel if you brought a girl home for some " no strings attached sex"? Personally. for her to jump into bed with this guy JUST 5 DAYS after your break up leads me to believe that she was communication with this guy; she decide that she wanted to try him out and rather than cheat on you, she dumped you. Now, that she had this guy, she might be having second thoughts.

 

Dude, don't be that doormat. That was soooo disrespectful to you.

[Hulk1]

She was talking to him the week before we split on Facebook. She hasn't brought he to the house she has gone there.

I still really love her and really want to get back together I can't just walk away after 8 yrs and everything we've built!

[Lucio]

I don't know how u function,

But I'd be too too shattered to pieces to stay in the same place n breathe the same air as her. I really can't imagine how u lived w it n still allowed her to touch u! I dunno if it's u have a big heart, or u r being silly..

 

I don't think u see it now,

But pls walk away the moment u realize ur heart is actually bleeding.

[Chi townD]

Well....okay, you need to start doing the 180:

 

1. Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or

implore.

2. No frequent phone calls.

3. Do not point out good points in marriage.

4. Do not follow her around the house.

5. Do not encourage talk about the future.

6. Do not ask for help from family members.

7. Do not ask for reassurances.

8. Do not buy gifts.

9. Do not schedule dates together.

10. Do not spy on spouse.

11. Do not say "I Love You".

12. Act as if you are moving on with your life.

13. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive.

14. Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - get busy, do things, go to church, go out with friends, etc.

15. When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or short on words.

16. If you are in the habit of asking your spouse her whereabouts, ASK NOTHING.

17. You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you are going to move on with your life, with or without your spouse.

18. Do not be nasty, angry or even cold - just pull back and wait to see if spouse notices and, more important, realize what she will be missing

19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. Show her someone she would want to be around.

20. All questions about marriage should be put on

hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while).

21. Never lose your cool.

22. Don't be overly enthusiiastic.

23. Do not argue about how she feels (it only makes their feelings stronger).

24. Be patient

25. Listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you.

26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out.

27. Take care of yourself (exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your life that are not in turmoil).

28. Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly.

29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallest

CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any words you can say or write.

30. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy.

31. Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse.

32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because she is hurting and scared.

33. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel.

34. Do not backslide from your hardearned changes

 

This is to make her realize that you're moving on without her. This is to make her realize that you are a good guy and fun to be around and she's losing that.

 

I copied this, so just replace marriage with relationship. Same concept applies.

 

IF she starts to come around, only accept, " I'm sorry, I screwed up, I don't want to lose you, I want to come back."

 

Mess with her head and start leaving Real Estate Agents cards out on your nightstand while your in the 180.

 

Above all, if she snaps out of it, DO NOT BE INTIMATE WITH HER UNTIL SHE GETS CHECKED OUT FOR STD's!!!

 

IF she comes around, I strongly suggest couples counseling. I mean, she slept with this guy 5-6 times THAT YOU KNOW OF! You're not going to forget that anytime soon!