Pierre Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Hmm______________________M: This time on Myth-A-Month we’re going to be talking about the myth that after several years of marriage, couples have sex very infrequently. That’s the myth. Because in fact, it’s really not true. People who are in couples and people who are married actually have more sex than most people who are single. Being in a couple gets you more sex than when you’re a single person. http://loveandhealth.ifriends.net/Article.cfm?Topic=2&SubTopic=18&Article=124&y=1&y=1 Can anyone quote any study that says single people have more sex than those in a steady relationship?
Pierre Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Here is more: Sex and Relationships More than half the participants in the 2010 national sex survey ages 18-24 indicated that their most recent sexual partner was a casual or dating partner. For all other age groups, the majority of study participants indicated that their most recent sexual partner was a relationship partner. (NSSHB, 2010). Men whose most recent sexual encounter was with a relationship partner reported greater arousal, greater pleasure, fewer problems with erectile function, orgasm, and less pain during the event than men whose last sexual encounter was with a non-relationship partner. (NSSHB, 2010). Nearly all Americans marry during their lifetime, yet close to half of all first marriages are expected to end in separation or divorce, many within a few years (Bramlett, 2002) and subsequent marriages are even more likely to end (Karney, 1995). Sexual dissatisfaction is associated with increased risk of divorce and relationship dissolution. (Karney, 1995). Most newly married couples wish to have children at some point during their marriage (Matthews & Matthews, 1986), or already have them. Approximately 15% of married couples, however, are estimated to experience problems trying to become pregnant and seek help, which not uncommonly involves recommendations regarding the timing and frequency of sexual interactions. (Haugen et al., 2004; Meyers, Diamond, Kezur, et al, 1995). A study of married couples found age and marital satisfaction to be the two variables most associated with amount of sex. As couples age, they engage in sex less frequently with half of couples age 65-75 still engaging in sex, but less than one fourth of couples over 75 still sexually active. Across all ages couples who reported higher levels of marital satisfaction also reported higher frequencies of sex. (Call, 1995). http://www.iub.edu/~kinsey/resources/FAQ.html#relation
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I find this to be quite amusing... You slept with her on the first date too. That makes you just as much 'trash' as you try to make her out to be. good for you I keep telling you guys.. things aren't the same as it used to be. Used to be you really had to work some major mojo to get laid and maybe had something to be proud of. These days, women don't have much reason to hold back. They have their own lives, they have their own money... and don't much give a sh*t what you think about them if all they care about is your d*ck and don't have much use for what is on your shoulders (or lack thereof). Long story short... Don't let it go to your head. Either one of them
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Don't take my word for it... When I was married (8 yrs married, 10 yrs total) we NEVER missed a week where we didn't have sex at least 3-4 times. Not once. Not even during the last year when we were in counseling and things weren't the best. My parent's are almost in their 70s. They still mess around like teenagers. Good genes, I guess
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 How to avoid a bad marriage? Don't marry. complicated! When you shut yourself out from the bad, you ALSO shut yourself out from the good. If you do not think the risk is worth the reward, that is fine. Perhaps it is not to you --- but it is to others. Indeed they can. Nagging and annoying, not letting their boyfriends and husbands spend more than a set amount of time with their friends; the bills men in relationships have to pay, and the obligations that are never ending. Lets not forget that married women can quit their jobs and their husbands will have to now support their useless butts; kids, house to pay, food, utilities, the kid's school, and now their Oprah-sized wife. Okay... well, I'm not going to get into some male versus female internet battle, but some women enjoy being healthy because THEY feel the best when they are. Not all "let themselves go". Some women ALSO enjoy earning income and contributing. Some women ALSO don't want any children. I wonder if men die sooner than women as an escapism mechanism. Maybe they don't go to the doctor that often because death seems more appealing than marriage. LoL... perhaps. of course it's the truth. Women don't turn their gaze to a crowd of men and pick randomly. A guy has to be in top shape to be able to find a woman to sleep with. I'm sure that older men only have to have a steady job, but younger women know that they are Queens and they make the most of their sexual influence and power. In a way, I think a lot of women could just be "getting back at men". I don't care about *top shape* nor even *financial security* that a man can offer... I care about *intelligence*, *integrity*, *connection*. It doesn't debunk squat. That minority of women would become as narcissist and as demanding and destructive as young women are because they have far more men interested in them, than they've ever had. What? Ely what? I must be illiterate... I simply can't comprehend this. Actually, some women are repulsed by being desired for superficial reasons (especially ones that were ugly ducklings ) Besides, I've met many All-American men who are 100% perfect and even though they married their wives many decades ago, their lives suffered a tremendous negative turn because their wives wanted to find themselves which is womaneese for ''I'm gonna cougar it up and I'm gonna do it with your own money, you useless war hero.'' No one is 100% perfect, sorry. And what is an "all-american" man? The "modern" all-american man is very unsightly IMO... entertainment, promiscuity, status and money... what great values. Do you drink poison? you wouldn't be alive if you had done it now would you? You were taught that the stuff is deadly to you. I must have inherited mostly Alpha genes because I've always felt this strongly about the subject and after meeting many, many men who shared their life stories my suspicions were confirmed. There you have it. I occasionally drink poison... prefer red wine.... though I like tequila too. Besides, have you conversed with happily married men? Are you saying you've never encountered one? You will find what you're looking for... if you're looking for bitter people to share their bitter anecdotes, it doesn't surprise me that you've accumulated them into some kind of "fact". Not to mention negativity is just inherently more influential than positivism... I know right? Most guys only learn by being burned by women. I'm giving to them, first hand, how it really is, and how women attempt to disintegrate what I say by using as tools the very old speech of, '' oh, don't mind him, he's just bitter. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Now, you sign this piece of paper and don't think about the divorce I'm going to kick your teeth in, some 4 years from now.'' Lol... it's just perpetuating misery anyway. Those who truly enjoy being used don't believe they are worth much... everyone else feels terrible when they are. Victims tend to become perpetrators. It's takes an incredibly strong person to break a cycle... and for every one who miraculously does, there's dozens more continuing it. I am not sure, bro. I know that the majority of them had loving boyfriends and husbands. I do not see how they'd have low self-esteem with the world bending backwards to please miss sunshine. Miss sunshine *needs* all the attention because she can't generate it on her own, within herself. She relies on others to endure. Why? Because she doesn't have substantial... *true*... self-worth. It's like an addiction... what she craves, what she gets, never satisfies her because it's not what she really needs... if anything, receiving her drug causes her to need it more. The matriarchy will never touch me. My ancestors died for freedom. I'm afraid I'm too addicted to it That's okay but, how about you portray things a little bit more accurately? You're freaking terrified and running with your tail in between your legs. How is that alpha anyway? An emulation... I suppose if others can't see through it, it's their own burden though. I don't know Ely... you're on the extreme negative spectrum. The truth is usually closer to the middle. I think your "confirmations" might crumble if they were tested out of their "comfort zones". As a female, I've been rather terrified of marriage. I've shot down engagements and I agreed to marry someone once... (I backed out)... but it's because I KNOW I'd be freaking sickly loyal and if I were cheated on by my "husband" or if he became a raging abuser etc, I would feel obligated to stay with his ass and support him through it all. I can't take "oaths" and "vows" lightly... and I realize things can always change in the future... "commitment" to me means something far deeper than "happiness". I'd have to meet a man of amazing merits before being willing to marry him though. I do not think most men (where I reside) have such good character, but I do believe they exist. Most of them are probably already taken, and I am uninterested in taken men --- if I could take him, I wouldn't believe he could be loyal anyway... Anyway, I digress. My point is that, rather than embracing pessimism and scorning the male gender (who hasn't been burned by people they thought they were close to?), I just think there's more to it than I can understand. And that there ARE good people... if you don't think it's better to aspire to being the kind of person you'd like to be with, and would rather just be alone, that's alright but... I think the idea of a life-long companion is ideal for a myriad of reasons. "Marriage" itself doesn't necessarily have to factor in with a life-long companion... but you did state you won't live with a woman. And that's fine too. But plenty of women have a lot more to offer than their bodies... just as plenty of men have a lot more to offer than security/wealth (or their bodies??! lol).
LynnieBear Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Last night, I returned her call, a day after she called. She was drunk last night and I think a lite went on for me. Finally. I met her at a bar over a year ago. She approached me in the bar. She refused to go home with me the night we met. But we did make out. She was fat, but she was interested, so I figured what the heck. Her face is kind of pretty and her personality is great. I pursued her in phone game and she slept with me on the first date. At the beginning of the 2nd date, I told her at dinner that we could never be boyfriend & girlfriend. Her eyes glazed over with tears for a split second, she choked them back, and of course, she slept with me that night too. We have remained friends to this day, although I'm about to tell our friendship will no longer include sex. I've just lost all attraction for her at this point. We talked on the phone about a month ago, and she was gonna go out with the roughneck. She met the roughneck at the Vegas airport. She slept with him on the first date too. She describes this guy as hot, good in bed and totally unstable, therefore, bad husband material. But he never told her "we can't be bf/gf" so she continues to e-mail this guy (he can't use a cell in the gulf is his story). I'm thinking to myself, I can totally relate to that guy. So, she puts herself on e-harmony and now she's met mr right. She says at first she thought he was spineless but now that they've been on two dates, she knows he's not spineless. She says if she can get him into an exclusive relationship, she'll consider herself very lucky. She hasn't slept with him yet and she insists she won't until she's in an exclusive relationship. Wow!!! I've heard about this on Leykis and I've read about it numerous times as well. When women meet men, they go into one of three categories: 1.) No Attraction 2.) Want to f*** the **** out of him but he's clearly not relationship material & 3.) He seems like he's got his act together and would make a good husband. So last night, I went to the local pub for a few drinks. I started asking other guys, "Do most women sleep with you on the first date?". They all said "hardly ever". But with me, every woman who's slept with me since the divorce has done so on the first date, with the exception of one. Maybe I'm connecting the wrong dots here, but combined with the fact that women always tell me I'm sexy, hot & handsome and the evidence that women sleep with me on the first date, and because I have women comment that "you could have any woman you want" and they've said "you're such a little player"...I think I'm the guy women just want to f*** the **** out of, but ONLY when I act like it. What I mean by that, is, if my "game" leans too much in the direction of showing I'd be up for a relationship and showcasing my "good" side, I guess I'm sending too many mixed signals. I think this also explains why women flake on me at the last minute for first dates. I think the light is finally turned on, now I know why women flake on me for first dates and now I know I should have the confidence around women that I've always wanted. When I "go there" with eye contact, or make the approach, it's not gone be creepy. I just gotta go out there and do it. Summary... Man grows up and realizes life is more than just a quick romp in the sack and women want commitment and something meaningful. Good for you, bro.
LynnieBear Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 It is well known that women sleep right away with men that are not keepers and then pretend to be virgins when they find a keeper. Summary, Man knows nothing about women. Or I'm the exception to the rule.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 all the single men are agreeing eh? ely may bang females and toss them... but alas, he has no companion nor does he seem to care about receiving deep affection from one. hmm. this forum really is often about the blind leading the blind ah... some wisdom at last...
LynnieBear Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Awww poor baby, I won't be able to sleep tonight knowing some guys in the world get to have all the NSA sex they want. But hey, atleast the rest of us know deep, platonic affection in and out (or rather, without the in and out). You think NSA sex is what makes the world go 'round? How old are you, 12?
LynnieBear Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Originally Posted by OnyxSnowfall all the single men are agreeing eh? ely may bang females and toss them... but alas, he has no companion nor does he seem to care about receiving deep affection from one. hmm. this forum really is often about the blind leading the blind ah... some wisdom at last... ...yes, yes indeed...
LynnieBear Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I want to be an heavy metal singer. It ain't gonna happen, sorry. When men reach about the age of 40, quite possibly they might reach it in their 30's, they start to realize that everything they've been running from is everything they want. My gripe is that age isn't an excuse to be a ding bat.
2011aug Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 3) Women past the age of 25 and very attractive? Possible. I've met a woman in her 40's who was far more attractive than many women in their 20's, but I'm too used to tight, young pussy. I don't think I could go as far as 30. ... 5) aaaahahha, I'm in my 20's, little one. Bit too young to be bitter, am I right? Bitterness is reserved for the men who are in their 40's and tired of a lifetime of dealing with women. ... I'd waste all of this, the abundance of young, tight pussy, for an imaginary emotional relationship that is riddled with risks and dangers so that women ''like me better?'' As long as my balls are empty and my belly is full, I could care less about what women what or need. I'm not a child. Nor a dog. I have no need nor use for ''affection'' or ''intimacy''; putting my dick inside their vaginae is intimacy enough, thank you very much, oprah-slash- dr phill. Hmmm, I would think that you will hit 40 eventually. And so would your woman/women. You sound jaded.
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 What Ely doesn't know (but will eventually find out)... is that past a certain age he won't be able to get his dick into a vagina... because it is too soft, or doesn't last as long, or whatever. And all that he-man-woman-hater stuff will (hopefully) fall by the wayside when he realizes... that most people really just don't want to die alone. seriously....
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Men also want something meaningful...but not with some washed up vilalge bicycle broad. Yeah, I know what you're going to say. There is a double standard, why are men allowed to sleep around and women aren't, yada, yada, yada. But guess what? Life is full of double standards. Women are allowed to be passive, cry, act emotional and do all sorts of other sh*t that would be considered unbecoming behavior for a man. The bottom line is that the girl described by the OP is a pretty low female. She will drop her panties for a hot guy at the drop a dime, while demanding an exclusive relationship from an average man. Who would want "something special" with a girl like that? Who would want 'something special' with a man who can treat others so callously? I think it is high time you (and the OP) 'man up' and learn how to be the person you want to attract.
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 I don't hate women. I simply feel contempt for inferior creatures and if you are going to try to argue that, go lift a big bag filled with cement. Then we can talk. Well, I'm not going to pretend to know wtf lifting a big bag filled with cement has to do with superiority or inferiority but... Besides all being subjective... the irony is, truly "superior" people have no need to feel contempt for others. Although, plenty of "inferior" people feel it, and even depend upon it, to maintain their illusion of being "superior". Keep on Ely <3
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Who would want 'something special' with a man who can treat others so callously? I think it is high time you (and the OP) 'man up' and learn how to be the person you want to attract. I agree. (but I think it's a lost cause... Singleguy, Feelsgoodman, Ely and a few others just seem utterly incapable of connecting certain dots together... they likely will either continue strive in futility to, or convince themselves they've already discovered the "truth" and it will just elude them indefinitely).
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Aaha, keep on trowing straw-men arguments and trying to make me see the ''light' about men needing women! I haven't merged myself in such fantasy since I've read The Hobbit. You at least need their genitalia
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) For the time being. Japanese scientists are working on creating virtual sex as realistic as your everyday grasp on reality(and they say that virtual sex will be much better than the real thing). When that finally happens, I'm going to program my virtual goddesses to look like this most beautiful Russian young woman whose name is lost in time,and I'll give to her the body of Angelina jolie when she was 18 years; cya, I will never bother with women again. Creepy! Gotta love that! Touchable holograms? I doubt virtual sex will be achieved in your life-time (should it ever be). Since that is the probable outcome , perhaps you should dedicate some of your time to furthering the progress that such Japanese scientists have made thus far --- help them move beyond the very... hmm... strange "kissing machine". Channel your "higher" intelligence into something better while ignoring your glaring weakness (your emotional deficient / incompetence / immaturity). I still don't think life will let you off so easily, but it's worth it to try. Go Ely go! Help them develop it quicker, before we both die Edited October 1, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
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