East7 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Published today in France. I don't think it would be very different in US (my comments in bold/Below the survey) : - Nobody stays where they don't want to be. How many of you are happy in couple : 84% : Happy 16% Unhappy - The younger you are the more faithful and idealizing you are : Can one be faithful to One person for the rest of his life : - up to 25 years old : Yes! to 90% - 26-35 : Yes 74% - 36-60 : Yes 63% - People are keen to save their couple : After infidelity would you break-up / divorce : - 30% yes without compromise - 38% it depends of the circumstances - 32% Not necessarily ...The older, the more compromises : After infidelity would you break-up divorce : - Up to 35 years old : 42% divorce/break up without compromises. - 45-60 yrs old : Only 23% would divorce. This expresses intentions; people may react differently when they are faced with an actual infidelity. - The Knight in shining armor doesn't exist but the charming princess is more likely to exist Does your partner/spouse fits the image of the person you wanted to spend your life with ? - Women : 57% No - Men : 32% No / 68% yes
woinlove Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Published today in France. I don't think it would be very different in US (my comments in bold/Below the survey) : - Nobody stays where they don't want to be. How many of you are happy in couple : 84% : Happy 16% Unhappy - The younger you are the more faithful and idealizing you are : Can one be faithful to One person for the rest of his life : - up to 25 years old : Yes! to 90% - 26-35 : Yes 74% - 36-60 : Yes 63% - People are keen to save their couple : After infidelity would you break-up / divorce : - 30% yes without compromise - 38% it depends of the circumstances - 32% Not necessarily ...The older, the more compromises : After infidelity would you break-up divorce : - Up to 35 years old : 42% divorce/break up without compromises. - 45-60 yrs old : Only 23% would divorce. This expresses intentions; people may react differently when they are faced with an actual infidelity. - The Knight in shining armor doesn't exist but the charming princess is more likely to exist Does your partner/spouse fits the image of the person you wanted to spend your life with ? - Women : 57% No - Men : 32% No / 68% yes I like the titles you (or the survey?) gave to the questions/answers. As to the last one, all the studies I've seen conclude that men on average are happier in marriage.
Author East7 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 I like the titles you (or the survey?) gave to the questions/answers. As to the last one, all the studies I've seen conclude that men on average are happier in marriage. The titles are added by me (in bold). Yes men are easier to please
Gentlegirl Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 The titles are added by me (in bold). Yes men are easier to please Why do you say that East? GG
Author East7 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 Why do you say that East? GG Because it is true.. Men are easier to seduce. They are also sexually and emotionally much easier to please then women.
MissBee Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 The titles are added by me (in bold). Yes men are easier to please Anyway, interesting post!
RickFox Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Single men want to be married and married men want to be single Nobody said we were smart
xxoo Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Men are easier to seduce. They are also sexually and emotionally much easier to please then women. I believe men are easier to please, and generally happier in marriage. Although I wonder how many men cheat while they are happy in their marriages. I believe more men than women do that. And maybe that is one reason men report more happiness in marriage than women
TigerCub Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Hi East Interesting post.. Published today in France. I don't think it would be very different in US (my comments in bold/Below the survey) : - Nobody stays where they don't want to be. How many of you are happy in couple : 84% : Happy 16% Unhappy haha - well you know how I feel about that one - The younger you are the more faithful and idealizing you are : Can one be faithful to One person for the rest of his life : - up to 25 years old : Yes! to 90% - 26-35 : Yes 74% - 36-60 : Yes 63% I think this one is true (well I'm speaking for the girl perspective) but yeah when I was in my early 20s I totally idealized the idea of marriage and wanted it and thought it would be "happily ever after" kinda thing. I still believe in being faithful, but now after all the experiences, mine and others, I don't have rose colored glasses on in terms of someone being absolutely faithful to me. I hope for it, but anything can happen. - People are keen to save their couple : After infidelity would you break-up / divorce : - 30% yes without compromise - 38% it depends of the circumstances - 32% Not necessarily see even in the "it depends on the circumstance" group, that means that they are willing, but it depends on how bad things are, etc. I think that people in couples (most of them) would see the couple as a "team" and would want for it to succeed and make it - but there's always conditions, and exceptions too. ...The older, the more compromises : After infidelity would you break-up divorce : - Up to 35 years old : 42% divorce/break up without compromises. - 45-60 yrs old : Only 23% would divorce. I wonder about this one: Is it that they are more likely to compromise and put up with things because: a. Not as many options for them as when they were younger or b. Life's trials and lessons have made them more aware that everyone has flaws and therefore they are not idealistic anymore, and more willing to actually forgive and try to move on in the couple. - The Knight in shining armor doesn't exist but the charming princess is more likely to exist Does your partner/spouse fits the image of the person you wanted to spend your life with ? - Women : 57% No - Men : 32% No / 68% yes Prince Charming sure does exist and its all good You made a comment about men being easier to please. Initially I thought you were right on that its true, men seem like simpler creatures, give them: - affection - sex - appreciation - be fun - no nagging - There are plenty more, but those come to mind as the important few.. and they seem to be happy, women are a bit more complicated BUT.... I think because men don't express their wants/needs as verbally as most women do, that maybe I'm wrong about my perception of men and what they really want. Some guys aren't happy but they just don't communicate it and they put on their happy face, so it actually makes it harder to gauge what really makes them fulfilled and if the woman they're with does that.
TigerCub Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 I believe men are easier to please, and generally happier in marriage. Although I wonder how many men cheat while they are happy in their marriages. I believe more men than women do that. And maybe that is one reason men report more happiness in marriage than women haha interesting point XXOO.
all3sides Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Single men want to be married and married men want to be single Nobody said we were smart LOL! Almost peed my pants!
Author East7 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 "People are not where they don't want to be" haha - well you know how I feel about that one Believe me I really thought about you when I wrote that see even in the "it depends on the circumstance" group, that means that they are willing, but it depends on how bad things are, etc. I think that people in couples (most of them) would see the couple as a "team" and would want for it to succeed and make it - but there's always conditions, and exceptions too.Of course, when facing infidelity there is the fear of the loss, because people not only consider the couple as a team but also as an emotional investment, history, there is an "us" that they cherish. Who wants to loose something that they have built through years? Even those who are adamant about infidelity, when facing the actual event, may act much more indulgent than they thought they would have. I wonder about this one: Is it that they are more likely to compromise and put up with things because: a. Not as many options for them as when they were younger or b. Life's trials and lessons have made them more aware that everyone has flaws and therefore they are not idealistic anymore, and more willing to actually forgive and try to move on in the couple. I think both A and B are valid but I would tend to think that mostly B is true. You made a comment about men being easier to please. Initially I thought you were right on that its true, men seem like simpler creatures, give them: - affection - sex - appreciation - be fun - no nagging - There are plenty more, but those come to mind as the important few.. and they seem to be happy, women are a bit more complicated BUT.... I think because men don't express their wants/needs as verbally as most women do, that maybe I'm wrong about my perception of men and what they really want. Some guys aren't happy but they just don't communicate it and they put on their happy face, so it actually makes it harder to gauge what really makes them fulfilled and if the woman they're with does that. I don't think communication issues are specific to men. I think there are 2 majors things to please a guy : sex and admiration. If you give him good sex and tell him how amazing he is he will be happy lol.
NoIDidn't Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Interesting study. Interesting that clear majorities still would stay together and with age (the older the man especially) they are even more entrenched. On the men are simpler angle...I think men are happy to have hot meals, clean clothes, and the occasional sex. If they already get that from one woman, I don't know many men that would mess with that equation too much other than getting more sex. Before Infidelity vs After Infidelity: Most of my friends in the US aren't natural born citizens. They come from countries where male infidelity is rampant. They ALL hated watching their fathers cheat and/or leave their families. Before kids came along, they all said they would leave a CH. But after the kids were born, they completely understood their mothers' position. Its really fascinating to see how people change with age and parenthood. My two cents.
TigerCub Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Believe me I really thought about you when I wrote that aaawww you know me so well Of course, when facing infidelity there is the fear of the loss, because people not only consider the couple as a team but also as an emotional investment, history, there is an "us" that they cherish. Who wants to loose something that they have built through years? Even those who are adamant about infidelity, when facing the actual event, may act much more indulgent than they thought they would have. That in bold is actually something I was thinking about recently. I think its true, its easy to talk with so much conviction about something, but its really different when we are in that exact position. Perspectives and priorities change when a person is right in the midst of it all. I don't think communication issues are specific to men. valid point I think there are 2 majors things to please a guy : sex and admiration. If you give him good sex and tell him how amazing he is he will be happy lol. haha, well I'm off to make my bf a very happy man
SBC Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 This might not be popular but, I think men tend to be happier in marriage and women less so, because men put forth less energy and effort into the marriage than women do. As breadwinners, this is where the majority of their effort goes --but this is something they would be doing with or without the marriage. It is the same reason that affairs are often lopsided too --women put more energy and effort into the deal. More head space too.
KathyM Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Published today in France. I don't think it would be very different in US (my comments in bold/Below the survey) : - Nobody stays where they don't want to be. How many of you are happy in couple : 84% : Happy 16% Unhappy - The younger you are the more faithful and idealizing you are : Can one be faithful to One person for the rest of his life : - up to 25 years old : Yes! to 90% - 26-35 : Yes 74% - 36-60 : Yes 63% - People are keen to save their couple : After infidelity would you break-up / divorce : - 30% yes without compromise - 38% it depends of the circumstances - 32% Not necessarily ...The older, the more compromises : After infidelity would you break-up divorce : - Up to 35 years old : 42% divorce/break up without compromises. - 45-60 yrs old : Only 23% would divorce. This expresses intentions; people may react differently when they are faced with an actual infidelity. - The Knight in shining armor doesn't exist but the charming princess is more likely to exist Does your partner/spouse fits the image of the person you wanted to spend your life with ? - Women : 57% No - Men : 32% No / 68% yes Interesting that such a big percentage of men consider the person they are partnered/married to fits the image of the person they wanted to spend their life with. Now that would contradict what certain men on this board (who shall remain nameless) would lead you to believe. I know I have read that a great percentage of men report being happier and healthier when they are married than when they are single. Men want to be cared for and cared about. I've said that before on this board. So do women.
xxoo Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 This might not be popular but, I think men tend to be happier in marriage and women less so, because men put forth less energy and effort into the marriage than women do. As breadwinners, this is where the majority of their effort goes --but this is something they would be doing with or without the marriage. It is the same reason that affairs are often lopsided too --women put more energy and effort into the deal. More head space too. I agree, and think they expect less from marriage, too. They are less likely to have romantic ideals for marriage to live up to (or fail to live up to). Their ideas about marriage may be more realistic, in that way. I will admit that my H is much easier to please than I am
SBC Posted October 1, 2011 Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) I agree, and think they expect less from marriage, too. They are less likely to have romantic ideals for marriage to live up to (or fail to live up to). Their ideas about marriage may be more realistic, in that way. I will admit that my H is much easier to please than I am Yes. But here is where nature levels the playing field --sex. Men generally care more about sex than women --and oftentimes A LOT more. So, no effort, no nookie. At least that is how the game is played in my world. And truthfully, guys (at least those I know) like it this way. Edited October 1, 2011 by SBC
SoMovinOn Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 I thought these were interesting (from a site just called infidelityfacts.com) The bold is mine. I found that one in particular to be somewhat humorous, in an ironic sort of way. Below are compiled statistics on infidelity and marriage: Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53% Percentage of "arranged marriages" (where parents pick their sons or daughters spouses) that end in divorce: 3% Medical field(s) with the highest divorce rate: psychiatrists and marriage counselors Percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41% Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57% Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54% Percentage of men and women who admit to having an affair with a co-worker: 36% Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity on business trips: 36% Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity (emotional or physical) with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law: 17% Average length of an affair: 2 years Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered: 31% Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74% Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 68%
Author East7 Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 (edited) I agree, and think they expect less from marriage, too. They are less likely to have romantic ideals for marriage to live up to (or fail to live up to). Their ideas about marriage may be more realistic, in that way. I will admit that my H is much easier to please than I am I agree. The more expectations are high, the most chances are not to have them all accomplished. I think men have more 'practical' expectations rather then romantic ideals. They want a wife for companionship, having babies, and having her taking care about the household. Not that men aren't romantic but it feels good to have a loving wife who takes care about you and gives good sex after a tiring stressful day:bunny: No man wants to be alone, they just don't admit it very often. On the other hand women expect more romance, connection and constant attention. What often men miss out is that a woman wants first to feel *a woman* before feeling a wife. That's why we hear the famous "I love him but I'm not in love with him anymore". Women love to love and it takes a great deal of work to keep that alive. The fact that women are more likely to be disenchanted from the marriage correlates to the fact that they are the 75% to initiate divorce but they are also the most able to move on. Edited October 2, 2011 by East7
SBC Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 (edited) I agree with you 100%, SBC. You hit it right on the nose. Most men just think all they have to do is show up every day and they've done their part. It is totally true. And unfortunately, so often, women will run themselves ragged trying to make the relationship work while the guy sits back and says, "Hey, this is great!" There is an old saying and it goes --the little old men sit around and talk about the weather, and the little old ladies sit around and talk about the men. YUCK! Women need more hobbies. Things to do that takes their minds of the men in their lives. Take a page from the boys' book in other words. Edited October 2, 2011 by SBC
xxoo Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 I thought these were interesting (from a site just called infidelityfacts.com) The bold is mine. I found that one in particular to be somewhat humorous, in an ironic sort of way. Below are compiled statistics on infidelity and marriage: Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53% Percentage of "arranged marriages" (where parents pick their sons or daughters spouses) that end in divorce: 3% Medical field(s) with the highest divorce rate: psychiatrists and marriage counselors Percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41% Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57% Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54% Percentage of men and women who admit to having an affair with a co-worker: 36% Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity on business trips: 36% Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity (emotional or physical) with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law: 17% Average length of an affair: 2 years Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered: 31% Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74% Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 68% I've read that site before, following a link from LS. I could not find a single citation for the statistics on the site. Take these "facts" with a grain of salt.
xxoo Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 There is an old saying and it goes --the little old men sit around and talk about the weather, and the little old ladies sit around and talk about the men. Ha! True On the other hand, men are less talk and more action. My own husband does a lot with me in mind that might go unappreciated if I didn't look for it. Just because it isn't textbook romantic doesn't mean it isn't evidence of love and thought
SBC Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 Ha! True On the other hand, men are less talk and more action. My own husband does a lot with me in mind that might go unappreciated if I didn't look for it. Just because it isn't textbook romantic doesn't mean it isn't evidence of love and thought Within the context of a committed relationship, I will agree with you --this happens a lot. But I would still caution that it is easy for women to let men slide on their stuff, thereby lowering the bar ever so slightly. After time, this bar keeps getting lower and lower and next thing you know, the woman is crying "but he used to be so loving and thoughtful" you know what I am saying? I just think men are better at testing the limits of what they are allowed to get away with is all I am saying.
ChelleBelle Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Hi there, Interesting post. My husband was unfaithful. I never cheated on him, ever, during our time together. For me the relationship was over and I divorced him. It has been a tough few years but I am now in a loving relationship with a man I know would never cheat on me and who I love dearly. My X husband continues to date various women and longs to have me back but it is well and truly over. Trust is such a huge part of a loving relationship. I would never cheat. It just screws everything up: my head, my life, my heart, the family, financially, everything. Is it really worth it? Judging by the state of my x husband I would say a big fat 'No'. In the end he was the loser.
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