MammaMia Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Looking back now and with the "experience" that you now have with the A and your H's behavior and attitude after Dday, if you could go back to relive this painful chapter, what would you do differently? and why? Personally, I would not have handled it with "kid gloves" at first. I would have looked him in the face , given him 24 hours to figure out who he wants to be with, and explain in detail the strings attached to whichever decision he would have taken. Then after 24 hours, once he told me who he wanted to be with , then enforce the rules to a tee.
Osiris1234 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 I would have given her 3 options. Take me with you or don't have one or im leaving you.
Summer Breeze Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Looking back now and with the "experience" that you now have with the A and your H's behavior and attitude after Dday, if you could go back to relive this painful chapter, what would you do differently? and why? Personally, I would not have handled it with "kid gloves" at first. I would have looked him in the face , given him 24 hours to figure out who he wants to be with, and explain in detail the strings attached to whichever decision he would have taken. Then after 24 hours, once he told me who he wanted to be with , then enforce the rules to a tee. It never entered my mind he should have a decision to make. I confronted, he confessed, I walked. We had a few weeks where he did his best to get back in my good graces but it was never reallly an option and the more he asked and pleaded the more pathetic he seemed. His choices were her or no one. I wasn't part of it at all. As far as what I'd change-nothing. Sometimes I read the success stories of reconciled couples but I knew the trust was gone and no matter how much I loved him, without the trust I couldn't be part of it.
nofool4u Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Looking back now and with the "experience" that you now have with the A and your H's behavior and attitude after Dday, if you could go back to relive this painful chapter, what would you do differently? and why? Personally, I would not have handled it with "kid gloves" at first. I would have looked him in the face , given him 24 hours to figure out who he wants to be with, and explain in detail the strings attached to whichever decision he would have taken. Then after 24 hours, once he told me who he wanted to be with , then enforce the rules to a tee. well you'll get some here that will tell you its not fair to put that kind of ultimatum on the cheating spouse. I say bullshyte. I like your solution to it. Cheaters shouldn't be allowed "time" to make up their minds or "time" to get over their affair partner if they decide to stay. Because "time" isn't afforded to the betrayed spouse.
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