start-fresh Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I moved away about 6 months ago from my GF and we broke up. It was my choice and she was heartbroken. I've since moved closer to her (but still 6 hours away) and have been contemplating moving back to where we both lived, which she may have heard through the grapevine. She's dating someone but I'm not sure how it's going. Is a happy birthday email, just that? I wish we would have never broken up but I let my logical mind take over and now that my life priorities have changed I think it could work again. Or is it more likely she was just being friendly?
Dblock10 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 yeah well it depends on circumstances, like if she wasnt seeing someone else i guess you could reply, saying thanks etc and then get talking etc etc. but because she is dating someone new, i would pretty much assume a happy birthday email is just that. you dont want to get in the way of her new found person do you? or do you really want her back?
antz2411 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 dood you need to grab you nuts and move on. you broke up with this chick so what makes you think she would be happy to hear your birthday wishes? wow get over yourself! if you have any ounce of love for this chick you would respect her new life with her new man thats probably railing the sheenanigans out of her every night! you broke her heart man if she wanted you back she would have contacted you someway but she didnt. sorry man! you win some you lose some
Author start-fresh Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 dood you need to grab you nuts and move on. you broke up with this chick so what makes you think she would be happy to hear your birthday wishes? wow get over yourself! if you have any ounce of love for this chick you would respect her new life with her new man thats probably railing the sheenanigans out of her every night! you broke her heart man if she wanted you back she would have contacted you someway but she didnt. sorry man! you win some you lose some Did you actually read my post?
Rorschach64 Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Just say thanks for the consideration/thought from her. I wish my ex-fiancee had that much consideration for me when my birthday just recently came about, but alas she is off in her own world. Like anyone would say here, if they aren't kicking and screaming for their way back in to your life then probably good chances they don't want it, but that general consensus(spelling?) is from the point of view of a dumpee. I wouldn't bother her if she has a boyfriend, I would only bother her if she was single.
Livelovelearn Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 to give a woman's perspective on this issue, i would say that it indicates, she cares ..but not neccessarily means she wants to get back together. Have you guys maintained contact? if not this may be a way to open communication. And seriously to all the guys who said shes with another man so she must be moving on...sometimes you are forced to move on because the person you thought felt the same way about you ....didnt. Being that you broke up with her...maybe she is just trying to move on and get over the hurt..cause im sure she was hurt. But anyway why dont you just talk to her? maybe be friends...see where it leads..and if you notice she actually genuinely cares for the new guy, then thats your hint to move on. Atleast you can say you tried....which tends to be something i havent seen much men in my life do
Author start-fresh Posted October 2, 2011 Author Posted October 2, 2011 I don't think it's fair to her that I tell her how I still feel at this point, while she's with the new guy. Am I right? I would like to say something like I would like to talk to her again if her and him break up, but that kind of makes me look like a doormat and could still come off as interfering with her relationship, which she could resent me for.
immitable Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 (edited) Amistad man, you are a dumper and it is logical that you will get slammed on this forum because you gave up on your girl (ie playing with people's emotions) which may or may not be true but things happen for a reason. See, dumpees are left heartbroken and they have time to reflect on everything that went wrong and possibly better themselves. While your ex may still care about you, she would also like to see change in you. Your feelings have to be genuine. Starting with someone new takes a lot of effort. Another problem you are facing is that she is seeing someone else at the moment. Dumpees in most cases find a partner with a clear head, whereas dumpers do whatever feels right after breakup because they feel finally "free". My suggestion is to fight for her and be brave, you never know... Best of luck! Edited October 2, 2011 by immitable
Hooknows Posted October 2, 2011 Posted October 2, 2011 Why can't you just be straightforward? A stalemate develops when neither party is willing to admit a desire to reconcile. However, the dumpee has no reason to admit such feelings. Nothing they said prevented the dumper from leaving originally and they have no reason to believe the dumper regrets the decision to break up UNLESS the dumper speaks up. As a dumpee who still has strong feelings for my ex and would like to have him back, I will never interfere with HIS decision to go. I don't want him back if it happens because I contact him. A dumpee needs to know the dumper regrets leaving and needs the dumper to initiate reconciliation. Do you not realize the humiliation of being dumped, the rejection one feels? Your girlfriend not only risked the possibility but had to live it. And you're worried about looking like a doormat? At best, you find out her current relationship is not serious, about to end, etc. and she wants to reconcile too. At worst, it's too late to reconcile, but you give her what all dumpee's long for - relief from the feelings of rejection that dumpees live with long after the relationship ends.
Author start-fresh Posted October 3, 2011 Author Posted October 3, 2011 One thing I don't understand is how some people can fall in love so easily. How can she be with me, tell me she can't see her life without me, and then go on to basically the only other available guy in our social circle and jump into a relationship with him. She didn't even meet anyone new, just started dating this guy because he was the only guy available. I've dated new people since her with no sparks on my end, but she just jumps right into the next relationship and sticks with it.
blinded Posted October 3, 2011 Posted October 3, 2011 You won't know until you actually talk to her, right? I am a dumpee as well. I said something intentionally to hurt him. I regret saying it and didn't even mean it, but I wanted him to feel the hurt I was feeling. Sometimes people say and do irrational things without thinking. All you know is that they are together. You don't know the connection they have. Everything else is speculation. Of course you're putting yourself out on a limb by reestablishing contact, but that's a chance you'll have to take.
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