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For Women: will having sex with a guy make you fall in love with him?


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Posted

Will having sex with a guy make you fall in love with him? It could be two dates, it could be ten. Does it change the way you feel and think about him?

Posted

From reading various LS threads it sounds like it does for some women, but is a temporary effect. This is why such a woman wants to wait until she really knows a guy before having sex with him.

Posted

Actually, no, not for me...thinking back, I can't say that sex itself has ever altered whether I wanted something more with someone.

Posted
Will having sex with a guy make you fall in love with him? It could be two dates, it could be ten. Does it change the way you feel and think about him?

 

I think most women need some emotional connection before having sex.

 

The problem is that this emotional connection can be achieved quickly in some women. OTOH, some women do not develop that emotional connection right away.

 

That emotional connection is most likely the early romantic attachment of LOVE.

 

LOVE is not an on and off switch and there are many stages of LOVE.

 

Nevertheless, there are many women that are perfectly capable of having sex in a vacuum and in that sense are no different than men.

Posted

well put it like this, if its the most amazing sex ever it can certainly make you think you do.

but its more being in lust with someone.

 

thats probably one of the reasons why its not a good idea to have sex too early on because if a person can really float your boat sexually before you know them well, people will tend to overlook certain issues which occur in order to keep the great sex.

 

i guess thats how good (bad) players operate.

Posted

Not fall in love, but I think it makes most women more likely to feel a false sense of attachment/emotional intimacy.

  • Author
Posted
Not fall in love, but I think it makes most women more likely to feel a false sense of attachment/emotional intimacy.

 

If you don't fall in love, do you think that false sense can fade quickly in the following weeks?

Posted

Interesting article that talks about what happens to your brain chemistry during sex.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2031498/Sex-Why-makes-women-fall-love--just-makes-men-want-MORE.html

 

Apparently, lots of dopamine is released in men's brains...the "pleasure" hormone.

 

In women's brains, however, oxytocin is released...the "bonding" hormone. So yeah, women can believe they have "fallen in love" after sex.

 

Obviously, there is more to it once the chemicals have cleared later. But, it is illuminating nonetheless.

Posted
Will having sex with a guy make you fall in love with him?

 

No, not necessarily. I've had sex with men just for the sex or the game/chase, looked at them the following morning and re-established that I wouldn't want anything more from them. But sex can be wonderful bonding if you're into someone in the first place.

Posted
Not fall in love, but I think it makes most women more likely to feel a false sense of attachment/emotional intimacy.

 

 

LOVE has stages and the 1st one is lust.

 

However, lust does not always progress to the intense romance with OCD that makes a person think about the other 24/7.

 

So sleeping together while in lust is usually not a good idea because it confuses the issue. Many times lust is a dead end street that does not develop into true romantic enchantment.

Posted
Not fall in love, but I think it makes most women more likely to feel a false sense of attachment/emotional intimacy.

 

Unless it was an atrocious sexual encounter ...

Posted
Will having sex with a guy make you fall in love with him? It could be two dates, it could be ten. Does it change the way you feel and think about him?

 

Only if the two of us are capable of achieving intimacy. If we are not compatible then I won't have stronger feelings for him after. In fact lack of intimacy is a turn off for me and I usually lose interest

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Posted
Only if the two of us are capable of achieving intimacy. If we are not compatible then I won't have stronger feelings for him after. In fact lack of intimacy is a turn off for me and I usually lose interest

 

What do you mean by intimacy?

Posted
What do you mean by intimacy?

 

When we make each other feel that what we are having is something special and not ordinary. When you whisper and smile at the other person and see the love in their eyes, regardless how carried away you are getting with each other.

 

If it's mundane and I feel it could be anyone in my bed after let's say 3-4 nights/mornings, I give up.

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Posted
When we make each other feel that what we are having is something special and not ordinary. When you whisper and smile at the other person and see the love in their eyes, regardless how carried away you are getting with each other.

 

If it's mundane and I feel it could be anyone in my bed after let's say 3-4 nights/mornings, I give up.

 

I agree. Sex can be amazing sometimes, but that feeling you have something amazing going on even as a guy is quite incredible. Part of the feeling special is from being able to be open and communicate with each other.

Posted

I'm perfectly capable of detaching sex and love. Probably as much as most men. I don't buy it that men and women are necessarily biologically wired to be more or less emotionally attached. Our culture dictates that men don't suffer any consequences from being detached (ie the 'slut' word only applies to women).

 

So, even women with the highest libido are taught to keep it in check by choosing men who won't dump them ASAP.

 

As for me... I prefer not to use that 'skill'. Without placing any value judgement on those who do or don't get closer after sex... I can say that I much prefer situations where BOTH do and the days of (relatively) quickie sex are long over for me.

 

Sex in a relationship where both feel a connection beforehand is just alot more satisfying. It is well worth the wait.... both for me, and I suspect, alot of men too if they could drop their macho defenses just a bit.

 

Not to mention a whole lot more drama free.

Posted
Will having sex with a guy make you fall in love with him? It could be two dates, it could be ten. Does it change the way you feel and think about him?

 

 

No and no, but I can say, I'd be more inclined to go back for more if it's good, lol.

Posted
No and no, but I can say, I'd be more inclined to go back for more if it's good, lol.

 

:laugh: co-signed.

Posted

Sex alone wouldn't make a woman fall in love with a guy, but it might make her feel more attached to him. It's that stupid bonding hormone oxytocin. I suppose that emotional attachment could be mistaken for love, but true love is based on much more than just sex.

Posted
Sex alone wouldn't make a woman fall in love with a guy, but it might make her feel more attached to him. It's that stupid bonding hormone oxytocin. I suppose that emotional attachment could be mistaken for love, but true love is based on much more than just sex.

 

Not so stupid. If you subscribe to the theory that bonding is caused by hormones, then ALL feelings/love is based on chemicals of some kind.

 

I personally don't discount that chemicals/hormones are involved, but I think there's more it to it... both with that "oxytocin rush" and with so-called "true love."

 

To answer the OP's question. It can help if the sex is really good and there is a unique chemistry/connection.

Posted
Not so stupid. If you subscribe to the theory that bonding is caused by hormones, then ALL feelings/love is based on chemicals of some kind.

 

I just meant that particular hormone is a pain in the ass. It can cause you to feel attached to someone you don't even like.

 

Love (and similar feelings) are based on more than just hormones. If you love someone, it's because their personality is such that you trust them, you feel safe with them, and you enjoy being around them. That person genuinely makes you happy. The hormonal kind of attachment, on the other hand, really has nothing to do with the other person and how they make you feel. It's all about your body's reaction to a physical process (like sex).

 

I compare it to the way a woman feels about her baby, since oxytocin is also released during childbirth. A mother immediately bonds with her baby, not because her baby is such a great person, but because of the rush of hormones released in her body when the kid is born. That's why mothers love their children no matter what, even if their kids turn out to be total hellions. It's not really love, it's attachment.

Posted
I just meant that particular hormone is a pain in the ass. It can cause you to feel attached to someone you don't even like.

 

Love (and similar feelings) are based on more than just hormones. If you love someone, it's because their personality is such that you trust them, you feel safe with them, and you enjoy being around them. That person genuinely makes you happy. The hormonal kind of attachment, on the other hand, really has nothing to do with the other person and how they make you feel. It's all about your body's reaction to a physical process (like sex).

 

I compare it to the way a woman feels about her baby, since oxytocin is also released during childbirth. A mother immediately bonds with her baby, not because her baby is such a great person, but because of the rush of hormones released in her body when the kid is born. That's why mothers love their children no matter what, even if their kids turn out to be total hellions. It's not really love, it's attachment.

 

I'm sure you are right but I can't relate to this. I have never felt attached to someone I didn't like - but then again I don't have sex with men I don't like in the first place. No matter how much alcohol is involved or how good looking he is

Posted

I define it as a "generic attachment".

Posted

In my youth, I was guilty of falling in love with guys I would have sex with - if they were remotely affectionate towards me.

 

That has been part of my unfortunate pattern of getting attached to the wrong people; I always let my hormones think first and then I found myself emotionally attached to losers because there was a physical attraction.

 

It is only now, in my later years, that I have been able to see my bad patterns and try and slow down. Even then, if there is obvious chemistry, I get attached very quickly but know now that the first thrush of love does not last.

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