BiCoastalLove Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I am having a very hard time with my SO. She insists on talking to her ex with whom she had a sexual relationship with why we were beginning our relationship several months ago. I asked that in order for us to grow as a couple one, two a ldr couple, that she please not have any contact with this person for a while. She has gone behind my back to talk to this person when she said she was not talking to her. I love her but I can not continue like this. The date we have celebrated as our monthly anniversary is not valid anymore because she continued to see the ex. My values of respect and integrity are on the line. Please any thoughts or words of enouragement.. Heartsick LDR
Whipple Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Why does she insist on talking to her ex? What are her reasons? I really don't have anything substantial to offer right now, but I'm very sorry. I know it hurts when someone does something behind your back after you have told them not to. Hang in there; you're strong.
Author BiCoastalLove Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 She claims she values their friendship. Which to me is understandable. But I am not comfortable with her being friends with an ex who she was seeing and breaking up with when we began getting to know one another and developing feelings for each other..
Whipple Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 I understand your frustration and that you're hurt. Are there any indications that she is not over her ex? Have you told her how hurt you are that she lied about the communication?
Author BiCoastalLove Posted October 1, 2011 Author Posted October 1, 2011 We had been talking for a couple weeks. Then we were intimate. The next day I had to fly out of town. We talked all day via text. We knew something was different about our connection but didn't fully understand it. She slept with the ex that night (less than 24 hours after we were together). As a friend and human being I feel devalued and disrespected. She claims she had no right to tell me about it. When I asked a week later when we were beginning to get a little more serious I asked if she had been with anyone since we were together that night. She said no, not sense we were together.. but her definition of together does not include that night. She understood me in meaning that since I got back from my trip the next weekend. I was asking if she had been intimate with anyone since the first time we touched. I have believed from then that she never touched anyone after the first time we were together. When we chose a date to celebrate for our anniversary she never said anything and we chose the day we were first intimate. Even as uncomfortable I was with her talking to this person all this time I believed that I at least had that, that she never touched her. As a human being and friend who values respect and integrity I am torn to the core. Help!
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