mistakenguy25 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 (edited) Hello guys, So im 25 and was with my x gf (whos 28) for 8 months until august this year. The relationship started good but it turned rocky. I was growing to hate the girl. I really didnt fancy her anymore, she was major controlling (if any girl tried to add me on fb she forced me to not accept them, and i wasnt even allowed to go to the pub or talk to female friends). She constantly reminded me how she didnt trust me or believe me even though I had done nothing wrong. The bedroom life had also failed. I mean I felt no attraction towards the girl anymore. From day 1 she always told me that she was on the pill. Anyways when I tried to end it I was made to feel guilty into taking her back. She would keep calling me on my mobile, home phone and wouldnt leave me alone. When we spoke she said she was gonna end her life as she had nothing left to live for now I was gone. In the end I would say give it 1 more chance, but I felt myself becoming more distant each time. We didnt have sex at all really, she would be the 1 to start it and I would be reluctant (when I said I didnt fancy it she would sob and say she feels so alone). At the start of August our relationship ended. I just couldnt take anymore of it. She even stooped as low to say she was pregnant, which I didnt think was possible as she was on the pill, I broke contact, got her mobile number blocked on my phone and on the home phone and moved on. A few weeks later by complete accident really I started talking to this other girl (who is 22). We spoke online until recently where we met up, we really do like eachother, felt like we had known eachother longer than we have and decided its a plan to be in a relationship together. I couldnt be happier. It was only a few days ago I was saying to my mum the good news that im in a relationship with a girl I truly want to be with and care about. She then broke the news to me, whilst things were over between me and the x, the x had been contacting her and my mum had met up with her. In fact she is really pregnant and its 100% mine. Gutted isnt the word. I dont know what to do. The x clearly tricked me, She either wasnt on the pill at all, or was and then when she thought we were close to ending for good she came off it so she could get pregnant and could of hoped that a baby would mean we stayed together. My mum has said she doesnt want any other girls in her house ever again (not good since this girl lives maybe an hour away so the only way we can have longer time together is if she stays) and of course im going to have to tell my girlfriend at some point which could mean losing her Edited September 28, 2011 by mistakenguy25
Emilia Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Well, you have to move out to start with. A 25 year-old shouldn't live at home and your love life is not your mother's business. No contraception is 100% safe by the way and if you allow the other person to have full control over it, this is what happens
Author mistakenguy25 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Well, you have to move out to start with. A 25 year-old shouldn't live at home and your love life is not your mother's business. No contraception is 100% safe by the way and if you allow the other person to have full control over it, this is what happens I may have to yea, been looking round for ages for somewhere but a bit pricey some of the places can be. At current I pay rent here, what does she expect me to do? never be in a relationship with anyone ever again, then when all the friends are off n married and she goes ill be a lonely old man. It was mostly thinking on logic. In the past I had of course been with other women, I always thought that nobody wants to become pregnant until they are in a settled long term relationship, so every time before as of the first "moment" before doing anything we discussed birth control and everytime it was implemented. Then with this girl we discussed it for a while, she even had an std test before to show me the results were negative.
Survivor12 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 "In fact she is really pregnant and its 100% mine." I'm just curious as to how you can possibly be 100% certain that it's yours.
Feelsgoodman Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 In fact she is really pregnant and its 100% mine. How do you know that??
TigerCub Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 "In fact she is really pregnant and its 100% mine." I'm just curious as to how you can possibly be 100% certain that it's yours. exactly what I was wondering. OP get a paternity test, don't just take your ex's and your mom's word for it..
Author mistakenguy25 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 well the main reason for me knowing is because of 1 of the reasons I could never love her... She was obsessed with me bigtime, I was her everything, she couldnt bear to lose me, she wouldnt let me have 2 mins to myself thus I knew she wasnt doing the dirty. That was the girl who wouldnt let me talk to female friends and decline any female friend request on FB, she made sure we spoke on the phone every single night throughout the whole relationship (usually phone calls were 6pm for a few hours or 10pm til midnight), she made it routine that any of our days off were spent together. If she even had a break at work she would keep trying to call me, then bear in mind after all that, we had a row 1 night about something. Previously she had asked when we had our first month together how many women I had been with, I told her its not relevant but when she insisted I tried to answer with a number. Then in that argument she told me she had been looking on my facebook past and seen I was with 2 more girls in my lifetime than what I had said. Then that was the time she told me "I dont even know you anymore" and that she just cant trust or believe me anymore.
StoneCold Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 YIKES... I've been there no doubt OP....this story sounds eerily familiar from the "I'm on the Pill" lie to the obsessiveness... glad I'm past that
Cypress25 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 It's possible to get pregnant on the pill by accident. I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose. If a woman forgets to take her pill one day, or if she doesn't take it at the same time every day, she could get pregnant. The fact is, you are 50% responsible for this pregnancy. You chose not to use condoms, knowing you were taking a risk. Your girl is not the first to have an unplanned pregnancy while on the pill. I know you want to be free of this girl forever, but you can't walk away from this. You're going to have to meet her in person to discuss your options.
Author mistakenguy25 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 It's possible to get pregnant on the pill by accident. I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose. If a woman forgets to take her pill one day, or if she doesn't take it at the same time every day, she could get pregnant. The fact is, you are 50% responsible for this pregnancy. You chose not to use condoms, knowing you were taking a risk. Your girl is not the first to have an unplanned pregnancy while on the pill. I know you want to be free of this girl forever, but you can't walk away from this. You're going to have to meet her in person to discuss your options. thanks, I mean it seems a bit suss tho, knowing i wasnt happy with the relationship n close to going, ending it numerous times, then all of a sudden shes pregnant. The pill isnt full proof yes but its more full proof than a condom (99% for pill, 98% condom). Havent had any problems with a girl using it in the past and in the whole relationship we must of done it at most 20 times. There was always the option for abortion or something but apparently shes keeping it 100% no matter what and id never have a say over it. Its gonna be really difficult to tell my new girlfriend. I really do think things could work out and already have a better feeling about her than I did with any other x. Shes 21, I just keep thinking back to when I was 21 and if I was with a single mum back then, but I always think I wouldnt of been able to handle it. It almost feels like after the bad relationship with the x, the controlling, the guilt, the ways in which I felt I cant breath, its still going to ruin my life and I could lose someone who seems to be really special and able to make me happy.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 You dont have to stop seeing your new gf. You also dont have to be with the old one just because she is possibly pregnant with your baby. You couldnt stand to be with her without a baby, its not going to be any better with ojne. So dont even think of trying to go back into that relationship. If she wants the baby, let her have it. Youre happy with the new gf, keep it that way. She will understand if you explain to her why your other relationship didnt work out. You can still be a dad, but you dont have to live with your ex to be one. In fact, since you hate her guts, its better you dont live with her, as it will be a turbulent environment for the child. Dont let her suck you in. She might even be lying to you about being pregnant. Women that act like her will do that sometimes to get you to drop everything. So dont tell the new girl until an actual baby appears. You never know, she might miscarry, and you could be saved alot of headaches.
Recommended Posts