antz2411 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 the best thing to do if you are bitter and angry is to live and live well. understand that the person in question, is doing the best they can at the time with what they have. They are making the best decisions they can possibly make. Just because the decision is not in your best interest doesn't mean it's not the right decision for them. I am also a firm believer that everything in my life that has happened, had to happen. Everything, the good and the bad, for me to be the person i am today. Nothing teaches better/more efficiently than pain. Sometimes lessons hurt, but you still have to learn them. So in a way I am somewhat thankful. I had a girl, thegirl that brought me here, stand me up countless times, once on my birthday, called me while d runk one night while getting railed when she was suppose to be going out with me, letting me hear the dude pound her.. i had never felt so bad in my life. I had a girl i dated not long before i found this site, for 8 months mind you, all of a sudden just walks out on me. But look at me now. I'm not only not mad at her in the least bit, i'm thankful. If I wasn't treated so harshly I would have not developed into the person I am today. I would have still been a naive average chump. I've had some women do some pretty nasty things to me in the past, i don't hold it against them even to this day. I look at what i did wrong, and there is always something you could have done better regardless, and i make sure i don't make the same mistake. I don't go out of my way to prove to them anything i just move on. That is the best redemption, growing up and moving on.
Thieves Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 (edited) I agree, Antz. At the end of the day, it's not about our exes. It's not about what they did to us, what they didn't do, what they said, what they didn't say and vice versa. It's about the fact that all of us are (or used to be) in pain. And naturally like anyone who's in pain, we want it to stop, and we don't want to feel that way ever again. Blaming our exes or being angry/bitter towards them is just another way of trying to get rid of the pain that we still feel, or trying to place it onto someone else. Kind of another way of avoiding acceptance and moving on. It's crazy sometimes actually, that we depend so much on this ex - this other person in a totally different world now - for something such as closure. If we all did that, we'd be putting our lives on hold for something that might never come. When really, all it comes down to is we just weren't right for each other. After saying that, does it really matter who did what? Who said what? I don't really think so. All we can do is try and learn from whatever mistakes happened.. Edited September 28, 2011 by Thieves
SimonSerenade Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I too agree, out of something beautiful ending, something beautiful began, I met my best friend on this web site and he was going through the exact same as me at the exact same time and he is literally the friend I never ever had, I changed a lot in ways I never knew I needed to change and became a whole lot wiser and a whole lot happier in a sense, nothing seemed so bad after the heart ache of that break up, I now live and love life every day in every single way and no longer take it or the people in it for granted. Took me a long time to get to where I am right now, I went no contact like a lot of people did, I no longer bare any bad feelings towards her now, she was a great girl and I wish her all the happiness in the world, I'd sooner she be happy and fulfilled than miserable with me any day, I forgave her for everything and put it down to a lot of things that where simply out of my hands, letting go felt great, I'd hardly say where friends now but being in her pressance and having a chat every now and then dosen't hurt and it feels like I had risen above a petty person and done myself proud.
Queen of Hearts 10 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Well there is healing in what all of you are saying ! I have locked my self in my dark castle and the depression and darkness set in. Women withdraw ! i need to get to the end of this lost love. I need to make him into the ghost that can never hurt me again ! I will get there. Because as you said it is only hurting me ! I need to stand up and step over this pain. Redirect my steps to other things. To many losses this year. I pray for that PEACE ! You are sooooo lucky to have found it ! Queen of Hearts 10
Author antz2411 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 all im trying to point out is people do horrible things to their loved ones directly or indirectly all the time. Why? There are several reasons. Lets pick the 'power' issue. Women like to have power over men and men over women. so what do we do if we want power, or how do we feel in power over another? We make them suffer. We want to see them break down or stress over something we or they did. So how do we all cope with this? The best way, by far from my experiences is to move on. not only move on, but always be the bigger person. never let them know you are angry. if they are causing you a lot of pain by their actions counter it back with love and kindness anyway even though its hard to do. in the end you will feel much better as a person and you will find yourself sitting on top of that pedestal instead of them! and like i said that is the best redemption, growing up and moving on and them realizing what they lost! people who treat others harshly do not know how to respond when countered with love and kindness i know that for sure! i guarrantee they will always second guess there decisions of treating you the way they did.
Recommended Posts