Gold Pile Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I'm doing pretty well but I'm still too young to retire. I've been taking odd jobs for pocket money and to meet women. I took gig minding a lady's dog while she was away. I was only supposed to stop by for a daily walk and feeding, but her condo is so fantastic that I practically moved in. It overlooks a park and I've been hitting on women who walk their dogs there. Women with small dogs and attractive women with larger dogs are very approachable. Ugly women with large dogs seem to have an unnatural bond and do not welcome any approaches. I've chatted up about 20 women and scored 2 phone numbers so far. I 'm seeing one for dinner this weekend. The dog I'm caring for is a dull yellowish color and wasn't much of a babe magnet. While exploring my client's underwear drawer(you'd do the same) I found some hair dye. I colored the dog's tail dark brown and made brown stripes on it's side. I purchased some medium red dye and made the dog's rear legs that color. Now I had a babe magnet dog. I told most of the women it was the dog's natural coloring (dog lovers aren't exactly rocket scientists), I told a few intelligent ones that the previous owner dyed the dog before I rescued it. The owner is coming back next week, I purchased some blonde dye to make the mut look more like himself. Thing is the dog hates being dyed. I wore leather gloves to fend off his bites last time. Now he won't let me near him with the color kit. I'm thinking of having a groomer shave him so as to remove the dyed fur. Better yet I want to dope him up and color him blonde while he sleeps. Does anyone know how many aspirins I should put in his food? He weighs about 12 pounds. PS: I've seeing (but not sleeping with) a much younger woman. I brought her to this amazing condo and we finally moved things to the next level. This has been a great gig!
Art_Critic Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Who keeps their hair dye in their underwear drawer ? Astroglide maybe.. GP.. The Aspirin is for you after you dye the dog .. go to the vet down the street (I'm assuming you have dated the vet tech there) and get some anxiety medication for the dog... 1
Author Gold Pile Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Who keeps their hair dye in their underwear drawer ? Astroglide maybe.. GP.. The Aspirin is for you after you dye the dog .. go to the vet down the street (I'm assuming you have dated the vet tech there) and get some anxiety medication for the dog... Good Idea Art! I wonder how much the vet will charge. Wonder if the vet will give me a hard time about coloring a dog. It sure would be cheaper if it just needed a bottle of aspirin.
Art_Critic Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 (edited) I wonder how much the vet will charge. It might depend on if you dated her or not By the way.. I used to have a babe dog.. an Old English sheep dog.. when she was a pup I used to take her down to the river and the women would be swarming all over me or her..... Till one day she peed all over this hot babe's sandals and foot and her friends leg... hahaha Edited September 28, 2011 by Art_Critic
D-Lish Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Did she have any granny panties kicking around? You can muzzle the dog, and use restraints to keep it still while you dye it back.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Does the dog sh*t gold bricks? You might have a fortune, if you find a dog that does this. Just make sure that you wash the gold beforehand, dirty money always has a habit of getting you in trouble.
Author Gold Pile Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Did she have any granny panties kicking around? You can muzzle the dog, and use restraints to keep it still while you dye it back. If she was a Granny I wouldn't have nosed around in her drawers She is mature but still pretty hot. So hot that I did something (several times) that I shouldn't have. Short of a DNA test they can't prove it was me.
Author Gold Pile Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 All kidding aside, any advice on ways to restrain or drug the dog without hurting it? I think a Vet would ask too many questions.
Art_Critic Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 (edited) Benadryl... but I didn't post it... I wouldn't give a dog that you don't own and know the medical history of any meds though GP.. I think a muzzle would work great... Edited September 28, 2011 by Art_Critic
D-Lish Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Benadryl... but I didn't post it... I wouldn't give a dog that you don't own and know the medical history of and meds though GP.. I think a muzzle would work great... How much does the dog weigh? I think you said it's small? Put in on a scale and get back to us after you are "done" leaving your DNA all over her condo. If it's under 20lbs, a quarter of a tablet would do the trick. Gravol might be an option as well.
Author Gold Pile Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 How much does the dog weigh? I think you said it's small? Put in on a scale and get back to us after you are "done" leaving your DNA all over her condo. If it's under 20lbs, a quarter of a tablet would do the trick. Gravol might be an option as well. Wow, I was thinking a bottle!!! It weighs about 12 pounds. I'll try the 1/4 pill first. If things don't work out, I'll tell the owner that it ran away or something. It'll ruin any chance I have of dating the owner, but it's better than the truth.
D-Lish Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Wow, I was thinking a bottle!!! It weighs about 12 pounds. I'll try the 1/4 pill first. If things don't work out, I'll tell the owner that it ran away or something. It'll ruin any chance I have of dating the owner, but it's better than the truth. One pill would suffice for a Great Dane or a St. Bernard- not for a Westie, Poodle, Corgi, etc. A Great Dane would weigh more than I do- and one Benedryl would knock me out. We're talking "night-time Benedryl"- that's what you want to use. One thing we haven't discussed is the proper way to make the dog that perfect shade of blonde. You might have to consider a "toner". I'm thinking you might actually want to take it to a hair salon? Applying blonde over red or dark might make the dog orange. Just saying.
Hot Chick Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 (edited) Is this real or just a funny thread? You remind me of-J The whole thing is a funny, made-up thread. 100% of it. Including the part where he has to take a 20 year old to a friend's condo to impress her enough to "bang her." And then has so little pride that he actually admits this. Edited September 28, 2011 by Hot Chick
Author Gold Pile Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Hot Chick (You're not really hot are you?) I'll try to upload a picture of the dog. I bet you own a large dog.
Hot Chick Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Oh I'm pretty happy with my looks. it's just that if you're in your 50s and abusing a dog like this (which is what you're doing) and you have to take a woman to your friend's place in order to impress her and claim you're a Gold Pile....then come on a message board and brag about "banging" a much younger woman......you are a total loser. So...I surely hope that it's not true and there is one less creepy weirdo predator in the world.
Author Gold Pile Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Oh I'm pretty happy with my looks. it's just that if you're in your 50s and abusing a dog like this (which is what you're doing) and you have to take a woman to your friend's place in order to impress her and claim you're a Gold Pile....then come on a message board and brag about "banging" a much younger woman......you are a total loser. Sad, I wish you said others are happy with your looks. The dog endured more than I intended. I do feel bad about that. Today I ultimately had to shave the colored fur off. I'll tell the dog's owner I had to (skunk or something sprayed him). I added pics of the dog dyed, then shaved, to my albums...view my profile to see them.
LittleTiger Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Have to say I'm with HotChick on this one and I don't usually agree with anything she says! You do not come across well in your latest threads GoldPile. IMO, you should be ashamed of yourself - for treating a dog this way, for rifling through a woman's underwear drawer and for using someone else's property to impress/bang a young woman. It all sounds very immature and rather disgusting to me!
Hot Chick Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Eh, I'm pretty sure I'm more attractive than you are GP. Inside and out. Have fun drugging your friend's dog. lol Must be a fun day for you.
Author Gold Pile Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Eh, I'm pretty sure I'm more attractive than you are GP. Inside and out. Have fun drugging your friend's dog. lol Must be a fun day for you. It's not a friend's dog, it belongs to a client. Again I'm sad that you only have your own opinion that you're attractive...If only others had the same opinion of you.
Hot Chick Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 (edited) ha ha ummm...I'm attractive to others. Don't worry I don't have a problem there. Let's stay on topic. I will post my own thread if I want feedback. If you're actually dying a "client's" dog without their permission, you are definitely mentally unstable (or retarded). It's not good for their skin. Any retard would know this. But....it's a made up story. Also the same for your supposed 20 year old woman you impressed with your "client's" condo. Are you such a loser that you can't take her to your own place to impress her so you can "bang"? I mean you're "gold pile" and all. Drumroll please.....because she is a made-up story, too. Plus any woman with any class would think it's creepy to have sex in a client's condo. Here is an article that states using human hair dye is unsafe for dogs....I didn't need an article to tell me this though (because I'm not retarded and/or mentally unstable like you are.) http://whitney05.hubpages.com/hub/Why-Dye-Your-Dogs-Fur But we all know that it's all made-up.....I hope you're not claiming now to be an animal abuser to get some humor out of it. Edited September 28, 2011 by Hot Chick
Author Gold Pile Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Hot chick, for he record she is now 21. As for the dog, who knew dye was bad for it, people use dye all the time. I wouldn't harm an animal on purpose, and it's skin looked OK after shaving it (creepy, but not distressed looking). You saw the pic, maybe you can enlarge it to see clear skin? I have to face the client on Monday, I pride myself on talking my way out of anything, but this will be a challenge. Part of the reason I have a pile of gold (so to speak) is that I live below my means. Younger people are often impressed with fancy things like a $400,000 condo. My modest digs didn't impress her, but the condo did. strictly speaking, i didn't make it clear that it wasn't one of my homes. You shouldn't post a thread about your looks. lots of posters won't sugar coat it, they'll give you truthful feedback without regard for your feelings. You'll at least give me credit for not being one to hurt people's feelings.
Cee Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Gold Pile converts at least one skeptic to fan with every thread he posts. Keep the stories coming. I need a pile of gold in my life.
Beachgirl8 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Maybe you should consider a side business as a mobile dog groomer specializing in funky dye jobs. Doggy Mohawks are cool too.
Hot Chick Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I look great. Like I said I am completely confident in them. i'm hotter than any woman you've ever "banged" in your life (and classier) I can guarantee that. Again let's stick to the topic because I don't need message board to give me feedback on my looks to raise my confidence. It is dangerous to dye a dog's hair. Their skin is different than humans. It can cause skin harm and irritation to the dog's skin, or worse. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that. The issue here is that someone who does this is completely retarded or mentally ill because they are abusing an animal and couldn't care less and make a big joke about it. So...I hope this isn't true - otherwise you are either retarded or mentally ill (or both.) Why do you take offense at being called out? We all know the whole post is a fake, including the 21 year old woman you like to brag about banging. Hot chick, for he record she is now 21. As for the dog, who knew dye was bad for it, people use dye all the time. I wouldn't harm an animal on purpose, and it's skin looked OK after shaving it (creepy, but not distressed looking). You saw the pic, maybe you can enlarge it to see clear skin? I have to face the client on Monday, I pride myself on talking my way out of anything, but this will be a challenge. Part of the reason I have a pile of gold (so to speak) is that I live below my means. Younger people are often impressed with fancy things like a $400,000 condo. My modest digs didn't impress her, but the condo did. strictly speaking, i didn't make it clear that it wasn't one of my homes. You shouldn't post a thread about your looks. lots of posters won't sugar coat it, they'll give you truthful feedback without regard for your feelings. You'll at least give me credit for not being one to hurt people's feelings.
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