HalfAlive22 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Sunday marked 3 years since d day...still feel like crap..still with H..still obsessing! On the bright side my physcic says..it will be at an end by 2013..and i will meet a taurus:)..may soubd cooky but shes been right thus far! Oh well i have my looks and a bottle of wine:)
Author HalfAlive22 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 and yes I'm aware, it's all my fault I feel this way, for staying here
StoneCold Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 and yes I'm aware, it's all my fault I feel this way, for staying here Yeah but just picking up and leaving tends not to be a knee jerk move...it takes time... you hope it happens sooner than later but you will go when its your time.... You got married when you were "ready"....and you will leave when your "ready"
yessy21 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Yeah but just picking up and leaving tends not to be a knee jerk move...it takes time... you hope it happens sooner than later but you will go when its your time.... You got married when you were "ready"....and you will leave when your "ready" I agree with this.. but since i dont know whats been going on... my opinion is only 70% validated.
StoneCold Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I agree with this.. but since i dont know whats been going on... my opinion is only 70% validated. Well nobody will ever really know whats going on in all its entirety ....other than the OP. thats why your opinion...my opinion and everbody elese is really just an opinion.... Only one to decide how valid it is is the OP
beyondsad Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 (edited) Half alive- I am also at the 3yr mark of trying to recover from his affair. I never thought at 3yrs I would still be crazy but I am. I have the good luck to see the OW all the time and I think this is one of the reasons for me. I just wanted to tell you I know how you feel. I have 2 personalities now, one that is still on the fence of why am I still here and the other that loves my intact family life and him. I hope that your husband is treating you well, being understanding and lets you be crazy when you need to, mine does and thats the only reason I guess I'm still here. I still throw out the jabs that hurt him on purpose and he takes them like a champ. He remains transparent and still apologetic BUT he will forever be a CHEATER to me! Just wish that everyone who is thinking about cheating would talk to me first, the damage to me and to all of us never goes away. I hope in time we both are at a place that their A stops making our heart hurt each time its remembered or I see OW!! I still want to strangle her skinny ass! Edited September 28, 2011 by beyondsad
Author HalfAlive22 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Half alive- I am also at the 3yr mark of trying to recover from his affair. I never thought at 3yrs I would still be crazy but I am. I have the good luck to see the OW all the time and I think this is one of the reasons for me. I just wanted to tell you I know how you feel. I have 2 personalities now, one that is still on the fence of why am I still here and the other that loves my intact family life and him. I hope that your husband is treating you well, being understanding and lets you be crazy when you need to, mine does and thats the only reason I guess I'm still here. I still throw out the jabs that hurt him on purpose and he takes them like a champ. He remains transparent and still apologetic BUT he will forever be a CHEATER to me! Just wish that everyone who is thinking about cheating would talk to me first, the damage to me and to all of us never goes away. I hope in time we both are at a place that their A stops making our heart hurt each time its remembered or I see OW!! I still want to strangle her skinny ass! My H treats me well until I bring it up, then he gets angry and depressed, and makes it about him he had many a's that I found out about all on that day, and he still sees a few at work, and I see them too sometimes..it sucks, and if one more person says to me "I dont' know how he cheated on you, your so pretty and attractive, and they are not" i'm going to scream! I think my time is comming soon tho!..to leave
beyondsad Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Half alive- It sounds like you live in my small town! I know that when i run into OW or someone thinks I need an update on her it hrows me into a tail spin of being crazy for a few days. THEN the pattern is and I really try not to BUT I throw out a dig to H. I can feel his butt puckering up and he is not a happy camper. He gets sullen and quiet and kinda wimpy. I on the other hand am just fing pissed with no way to really let it go. It sucks sooo bad. OW ad I have kids same age and same school, great AND have all lived in town forever. So weird even thogh I feel crazy sometimes there is still something there , as if there is no way he could do it again after seeing how hurt I was. Hope your ok, and I guess we should just follow our gut feelings. I had really bad gut feelings before that bitch sent me a letter but did not know who or what. From now on I just keep alert!! Sucks to be us!
unodos1011 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I am so happy to read this post. Certainly not because of your situation but because it makes me feel a little less crazy myself. I'm not even two months past DDay but I think about it every single second of the day. Im trying to stick it out with H but I often wonder if I will ever love him as much as I did before. I suspected what was going on but at the same time I was so blindsided. He says he wants to work through it but gets angry every time I talk about it. I can't imagine going through this for the next three years or longer.
StoneCold Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Beyondsad you do realize that at the rate you are going at...any hopes of salvaging your relationship are quite slim.... if salvaging it is something you actually want to do.....or are you just buying time?
beyondsad Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Not sure salvaging is how I would describe my relationship. It ebbs and flows like the tide. Great day, good days , ****ty days and ok days. I think that my persnality is always the glass is half full. So my bitchin on this forum is simply that, understanding what others like myself are going thru and finding comfort in the fact that I can relate. I like being married, both of us have good jobs dont need each others money to live , like where i live, my kids are doing well and I think life is not perfect. Not happy seeing ow BUT H has done the work to make me feel that his A was the biggest mistake in his life. He made it well known (small town) that he would do anything to keep our family intact and immediately let her no that she was a mistake. So i gave hm another chance and in three years he has done everything he could to try to make it up to me Sometimes I'm still ccrazy but overall can't see me leaving UNLESS he F"s up again the see ya!!! Still think marriage is a committment and not the easist thing in the world to keep running smooth. For me it was a wake up not to be taken for granted thats for sure. PEACE
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