imissyou2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I had an affair with a co-worker for two years. The affair ended abruptly with no communication on his part. He just packed his things and moved across country with his then girlfriend. Fast forward almost two years later....I decided to send him an email. What do you know he responded...we exchanged some very very flirty messages, tells me he has dreams about me and has been missing me for a while now...then he surprises me with a pic..totally nude face and all. Now I was shocked, but intrigued..So at his request I do a mini photo shoot..I am talking outfit, shoes ...etc... Well I send the pictures and I have not heard a word from him. No response...No reply...no nothing and that was five weeks ago. My first thought was that the pictures must be bad. However, I know my body is beautiful..SO I don't get it. I think I was being used so he could get what he wanted from me. Some nude pics to help entertain his fantasy. I am hurt that I even opened myself up to a person who took so much and cared so little about my feelings. I knew better when he left the first time. I never should have sent that email , because what took me two years to get over has opened up the same wound. Somehow still feeling rejected and unwanted. Its sad.. you think you are over something and someone..and somehow they can continue to hurt you because you open yourself up. I have a mind to send the photo to his wife, but she is preggers and I am sure it would make her go into labor !!!! Any thoughts would be appreciated..tired of being sad...
Emilia Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Well this is karma isn't it? You have an affair with a man who is in a relationship, you assist him in his cheating, he treats you badly in return and then you go back for some more 2 years later. I'm sure you see yourself as a victim but imagine how his wife would feel if she found out and she is pregnant! Yet you would hurt her just to get revenge.... I'm not really sure what sort of person you are but I don't feel sorry for people that enable cheats.
chucksagent Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 imissu2011 - Are you also in a relationship?
Author imissyou2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Well this is karma isn't it? You have an affair with a man who is in a relationship, you assist him in his cheating, he treats you badly in return and then you go back for some more 2 years later. I'm sure you see yourself as a victim but imagine how his wife would feel if she found out and she is pregnant! Yet you would hurt her just to get revenge.... I'm not really sure what sort of person you are but I don't feel sorry for people that enable cheats. Emilia..I appreciate your comments. I agree with you and a lot of this is about Karma. Despite how it may appear I have no desire to hurt his wife. I have kept many secrets over the years from his then girlfriend now wife. Honestly, I was with this man before she ever came into the picture. So in essence I have protected him and her by keeping my mouth shut over the last five years. We never pursued a relationship because I was engaged when we first met and then married a year later. So in essence this affair has gone on for sometime. I have a lot of guilt because the feelings I have for this man are stronger then the what I have for my husband. I sensed it before I walked down the aisle, but I felt it was too late. Cakes were ordered, flowers, dresses..etc. So as to what type of person I am..I am growing and learning. Not sure If that qualifies me as bad, but I am working on myself everyday.
Author imissyou2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 Yes, I am in a relationship.
Author imissyou2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 imissu2011 - Are you also in a relationship? I am in a relationship
praxisdorian Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I should be jaded by now. But, it never ceases to amaze me how selfish and dishonorable people can be. Let me try an analogy... It's like someone saying, "My partner and I robbed a bank. He then took all the money and left me. Why would he do that"? hint... He's a BANKROBBER... a thief. So now, you are wondering why your partner in an illicit activity engages in something illicit?
Author imissyou2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 I should be jaded by now. But, it never ceases to amaze me how selfish and dishonorable people can be. Let me try an analogy... It's like someone saying, "My partner and I robbed a bank. He then took all the money and left me. Why would he do that"? hint... He's a BANKROBBER... a thief. So now, you are wondering why your partner in an illicit activity engages in something illicit? Good point. Sometimes hard to see things from the inside out. Thats why I posted so I can try to see from the outside in.
chucksagent Posted September 29, 2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Love the bank robber annalogy - could NOT agree more... I am very jaded because it seems like everyone is jaded and selfish these days... This is another glimmering example that there is no hope for people...people today are just shot. What are you looking from people to post? You and this men are both horrible people...downright awful. And now you are SURPRISED he is screwing you over? Are you surprised when McDonalds gives you fries? No, of course not, they are in the FRY business...this guy is in the screwing women over business...EXPECT IT!
Author imissyou2011 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 Love the bank robber annalogy - could NOT agree more... I am very jaded because it seems like everyone is jaded and selfish these days... This is another glimmering example that there is no hope for people...people today are just shot. What are you looking from people to post? You and this men are both horrible people...downright awful. And now you are SURPRISED he is screwing you over? Are you surprised when McDonalds gives you fries? No, of course not, they are in the FRY business...this guy is in the screwing women over business...EXPECT IT! I am looking for some brutal honesty and another POV besides my own. All the comments have been extremely helpful toward me letting go of the whole situation. So thanks it hurts but it is helping : )
whichwayisup Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Can I ask why you did this when you're married? Sending pictures of yourself to someone you 'had' an affair with 2 years ago...Out of the blue, you contact him, he responds, tests you to see how you'd react, sends you a nudie of himself and then disappears again. I guess I dont know why you reached out in the first place? Especially since you're married/in a relationship. Delete him and forget about him. Pray to GOD that those pictures don't circulate online with your flirty emails.. Never say never. Are you going to tell your spouse?
Author imissyou2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 Can I ask why you did this when you're married? Sending pictures of yourself to someone you 'had' an affair with 2 years ago...Out of the blue, you contact him, he responds, tests you to see how you'd react, sends you a nudie of himself and then disappears again. I guess I dont know why you reached out in the first place? Especially since you're married/in a relationship. Delete him and forget about him. Pray to GOD that those pictures don't circulate online with your flirty emails.. Never say never. Are you going to tell your spouse? Why did I reach out ??? Still trying to figure that one out. I think part of me did it just to see if he would respond. Initially when he began to ask about seeing me I told him no and I thought it was a bad idea. I suppose over a period of time I just gave in to his request. I do hope the photos do not come back to haunt me. I did not include my face in any of the pictures and I deleted the email account used to contact this man. I am ready to let this go and move forward. I have thought about telling my husband...everything ..a thousand times, but I do not think men can recover from infidelity like a women can. I feel like a confessional would only be for my benefit, to relieve my guilt. Do you think I should say something to my husband ?
stillafool Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Why would you send nude pics of yourself? I mean if you had to send a picture why a nude one? Why not a nice picture with clothes on? Anywho, you are right he used you but I think also he wasn't impressed by your picture. There is nothing you can do but do better next time. Don't involve yourself with another woman's husband. Remember he could have chose you for his wife before he ran off and married her. You should have never looked back.
Mimolicious Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Well... there goes your chance for ever running for office! jk! Anyway- Did you just say that you have in mind sending the picture to his W??????????????????????? Her being pregnant holding you back? tsk,tsk,tsk! What exactly is that supposed to do? Don't play yourself. Learn the lesson here. 1. check the void in your own relationship 2. some things are not worth resurfacing. MOVE ON! Odds are that his W already found the pic and that is why you haven't heard back. If you think this is karma for what happened 2 yrs ago; be very afraid of what life may have in store for you for ruining one of the most precious experiences a woman can live. LEAVE THEM ALONE!! Do you have kids?
Author imissyou2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 Why would you send nude pics of yourself? I mean if you had to send a picture why a nude one? Why not a nice picture with clothes on? Anywho, you are right he used you but I think also he wasn't impressed by your picture. There is nothing you can do but do better next time. Don't involve yourself with another woman's husband. Remember he could have chose you for his wife before he ran off and married her. You should have never looked back. The pictures I sent were not nude. I had on a lingerie and heels. I did think maybe he hated the photos, but I am the same woman he slept with for two years and I am in better shape now then I was at the time. I know he likes a woman with some meat on them. All the women he has called a gf were bigger than me. I am a 34-30-39 and 5'8. However, you are right I should have never looked back. Thanks for the insight.
Author imissyou2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Posted September 30, 2011 Well... there goes your chance for ever running for office! jk! Anyway- Did you just say that you have in mind sending the picture to his W??????????????????????? Her being pregnant holding you back? tsk,tsk,tsk! What exactly is that supposed to do? Don't play yourself. Learn the lesson here. 1. check the void in your own relationship 2. some things are not worth resurfacing. MOVE ON! Odds are that his W already found the pic and that is why you haven't heard back. If you think this is karma for what happened 2 yrs ago; be very afraid of what life may have in store for you for ruining one of the most precious experiences a woman can live. LEAVE THEM ALONE!! Do you have kids? I will definitely leave them alone. No revenge required.
nama Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 I did think maybe he hated the photos, but I am the same woman he slept with for two years and I am in better shape now then I was at the time. I know he likes a woman with some meat on them. All the women he has called a gf were bigger than me. I am a 34-30-39 and 5'8. You have serious self-esteem issues. My hunch is that you were feeling low and wanted some validation... but you didn;t get any.
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