momto3boys Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 i moved from NC to our home state (MD) because my husband wants a divorce. Well he is was in Md and is coming back again tonight. He keeps making up excuses to the army to let him have leave so he can come up to our home town and party with his old friends. He has told a mutual friend of ours that he has done nothing but gotten trashed. He said its to forget his problems. I had hopes we'd possibly be able to work things out since we are about to have a baby in a few weeks, i thought the separation may help. My counselor agreed that he may need space (he has ptsd from being deployed to afghanistan). i am starting to not even want to be with him anymore though because of how he is acting during this split. He has said mean things to me, he is bothered by me anymore we talk (usually about the kids, car, etc) and now he has done nothing but drink since we split up. He says "what else am i suppose to do, sit at home?" my question is, why do guys party and drink so much after a separation? He kicked me out before he deployed and drank constantly. but this time he is a lot worse and i feel like i dont even know him anymore. He has changed so much since coming back from Afghanistan but also is much much different now that he told me he wants a divorce.
Luckless Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 My ex practically lived at the local bar. Everyday after work he'd be there, every football game, at the bar. If we would fight, guess what, at the bar!! Some nights he'd get so trashed his friends would call me to come get him, I'd find him a drunken mess, sometimes crying that he loved me. (Ugh, don't miss that). Obviously not all men do this. Your husband has issues from being in the military. Mine had issues because his grandfather, uncle, and pretty much his aunt killed themselves. The aunt drank herself to death in her 40's. Many people turn towards booze to try to cope. Maybe it's a weakness. In my case, my husband would party with his single buds. Heck, they had no one to come home to so why not party until the bar closes. Some nights he never came home. Who he went home with, I'll never know. That's why he's the EX!
Daremo_06 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Its not just guys that do this. Instead I would describe it as people who run to alcohol to avoid feeling the pain of their problems.
Author momto3boys Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 Im sorry i dont mean just men Ive known a few females that i am friends with who have drank themselves stupid after a break up. I just dont get why people turn to alcohol. I mourn and vent through a break up, then i move on. I have never turned to drinking to get over a break up. Although i might at this point but i cant because im pregnant, lol. But i feel much better venting/mourning the loss of a relationship.
wilsonx Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 People return to what they use for crutches. There are strong emotionally mature people in the world that do not need crutches. They can face the pain head on and conquer it on their own Then there are those that do not know how to properly deal with negative things in their life. The emotionally immature. They just run from the pain. They use drugs, alcohol, self mutilation, relationships, and/or anger whatever forms of covering up the pain that they are comfortable with.
Chi townD Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I just dont get why people turn to alcohol.QUOTE] To numb the pain. To try and forget. Your husband was in the war, he's probably seen a lot of things he'd rather forget. He could very well be suffering from PTSD.
Woggle Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 People turn to their crutches and for some that is booze. There is also this perception that you have your freedom back so you go wild.
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