TheSingleGuy Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Ok, you have a boyfriend, it's a committed, exclusive relationship, and another guy asks for your phone number. When this happens, do you mention it to the boyfriend or keep it secret? And if you keep it secret, why? Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Dont give your number and don't mention it. Would you want to hear about it if a woman asked him for his number? Do you want to know about the woman that smiled at him at the store, or the woman that had a thong hanging out and bent over in front of him too? Bottom line is that in any relationship things are going to happen. As a good partner, you just need to handle it appropriately and move on. There is no good that comes from telling your partner all these details, it would be a little much actually! Just be true to him, and you're good. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Depends on how amusing of a story it would make. If it's just some random guy who walks up to me in a bookstore or whatever and asks me for my number, I probably wouldn't bother telling my BF about it, because I doubt he'd care, as long as I don't give the guy my number, which of course I wouldn't. I mean, I don't tell him about every random dude who shouts "hey baby" at me on the street, either. I wouldn't be keeping it "secret," though - if he asked me to tell him whenever stuff like that happens, I certainly would. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I would say no of course and probably wouldn't mention it. Such a common occurence, I would forget it within a minute unless there was some interesting story behind it Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 No need to mention it to the boyfriend, just don't give the guy your number. It's such a trivial occurrence, I can't imagine why you would tell your boyfriend every time some random dude hits on you. Maybe if it's a funny story, it might be worth sharing. Otherwise it's more of a "Yeah, so?" piece of news. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Ok, you have a boyfriend, it's a committed, exclusive relationship, and another guy asks for your phone number. When this happens, do you mention it to the boyfriend or keep it secret? And if you keep it secret, why? Would I be wrong in imagining that there's a conversation prior to the guy asking for the phone number, or do men really just walk up to women and say "what's your number?" The content of that conversation might be just as interesting to the boyfriend as the question, since as well as hoping that his girlfriend declined to give out her number he would probably prefer that she wasn't flirting with the guy either. If it was just an innocent conversation in which a guy asked for her number then, if I was the boyfriend, I don't think I would be upset if I wasn't told about it. (Also, I wouldn't have a problem with my girlfriend having male friends, but I don't think that was the context here.) Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Would I be wrong in imagining that there's a conversation prior to the guy asking for the phone number, or do men really just walk up to women and say "what's your number?" Men really just walk up and just ask for the number --- or pull over in their vehicle and ask, or stop as they are on their bike, skateboard, whatever. Generally it's preceded or followed by some superficial compliment like "Hi gorgeous / you're gorgeous" etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheSingleGuy Posted September 27, 2011 Author Share Posted September 27, 2011 ++++Men really just walk up and just ask for the number --- or pull over in their vehicle and ask, or stop as they are on their bike, skateboard, whatever++++ You have got to be kidding me???? What I wouldn't give to be a good looking woman for just one day to see what it's like. Me personally, I won't ask for girl's number unless there's been some really good conversation to make me think I've got an excellent chance. Seriously, do these guys who do that ever have a chance? I mean, if you're single at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 You have got to be kidding me???? What I wouldn't give to be a good looking woman for just one day to see what it's like. It's not fun. In fact, it's kind of creepy and threatening. Me personally, I won't ask for girl's number unless there's been some really good conversation to make me think I've got an excellent chance. That's because you're a smart guy with social graces. Women appreciate men who take the time to chat with them before asking for her number. Seriously, do these guys who do that ever have a chance? I mean, if you're single at the time. No. I can't imagine a scenario in which a woman would actually say yes to that. It's no different than a catcall. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 ++++Men really just walk up and just ask for the number --- or pull over in their vehicle and ask, or stop as they are on their bike, skateboard, whatever++++ You have got to be kidding me???? What I wouldn't give to be a good looking woman for just one day to see what it's like. Me personally, I won't ask for girl's number unless there's been some really good conversation to make me think I've got an excellent chance. Seriously, do these guys who do that ever have a chance? I mean, if you're single at the time. When I was single, I did give my number out a few good times to random men. One time I was in a sporadic mood and I accepted an offer to get in a man's truck (while out on a walk) and to go out to lunch with him Normally the only ones I humored seeing when they contacted me though were ones that either never text me or ones that text me with proper spelling and grammar ... I'm sure every woman has different criteria, but I'm just immediately turned off by texts like "u r really hawt, want 2 go 2 dinner 2night?" --- or any other such variations. Those texts I would politely decline Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 No. I can't imagine a scenario in which a woman would actually say yes to that. It's no different than a catcall. I like blunt and I respect people who don't beat around the bush. There are decent men who approach with such questions --- I rather appreciate someone who takes the initiative to pounce on something that may pass them by if they otherwise don't. Sure, there are men that do it to any remotely attractive female they see --- but not at all of them have been that way (in my experience). Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Men really just walk up and just ask for the number --- or pull over in their vehicle and ask, or stop as they are on their bike, skateboard, whatever. Oh! Well, I've learned something today. Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I rather appreciate someone who takes the initiative to pounce on something that may pass them by if they otherwise don't. Yeah, I don't like being pounced on, lol. I'm not really attracted to predators. Link to post Share on other sites
wolfess Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I tell my boyfriend everything whether I mean to or not. I'd want him to tell me if some chick asked for his number, the usual response either one of us would give is "Name and social security number?" Then we laugh it off. That's just us though, we talk a lot, tell each other just about everything. I don't know, maybe we're not normal, but I enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Yeah, I don't like being pounced on, lol. I'm not really attracted to predators. Lol, it's all the same thing in the end anyway is it not? The suave conversationalist probably wants the same thing as the upfront go-getter (and both can want more or less depending). Men are hunters anyway, some of them are worth being prey to I dunno, I can't remember it ever intimidating me. Even still, don't you just get used to it at some point? Link to post Share on other sites
wolfess Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I think it's really funny how many times I've seen men referred to as hunters/predators. That's just such an unflattering analogy. Like a man is hiding in the bushes to pop out and eat you, err date you... Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 The suave conversationalist probably wants the same thing as the upfront go-getter (and both can want more or less depending). The difference is, the conversationalist gives me a chance to figure him out. If a guy wants my number, he has to show me something that I like. If he can do that in a 5-minute conversation, then I'll give him my number. Why would I give my number to a random stranger who approaches me on the street and abruptly asks for it? He hasn't shown me anything. I don't know anything about him. And he doesn't know anything about me, which means his interest in me is purely superficial. I have no reason to trust him. I dunno, I can't remember it ever intimidating me. Even still, don't you just get used to it at some point? I get used to ignoring them, lol. I don't take chances on strange men who catcall me on the street. Risky situation right there. Link to post Share on other sites
Trovador Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 OP, if I may ask, did you give your number to some guy? And if so, you didn't tell your bf, right? Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 (edited) The difference is, the conversationalist gives me a chance to figure him out. If a guy wants my number, he has to show me something that I like. If he can do that in a 5-minute conversation, then I'll give him my number. Why would I give my number to a random stranger who approaches me on the street and abruptly asks for it? He hasn't shown me anything. I don't know anything about him. And he doesn't know anything about me, which means his interest in me is purely superficial. I have no reason to trust him. Hmm, I don't think 5 minutes nor even a couple of weeks is enough time to discern someone's being and or for them to discern yours. Some people are good at creating facades and or pretending to be interested in something they're really not. Some people need time before they're comfortable expressing more of their deeper selves etc. The men approaching you and opening with conversation are probably approaching you out of superficial reasons --- they ultimately want the same thing as the more blatant men do... a way to contact you in the future. Which could be just to slip inside of you, and or it could be to get to know you and pursue something more meaningful (in addition to the slipping inside of you). I guess what I'm saying is that either way they can't be trusted and either way they could just want sex and or more. Whether they're more upfront about wanting to see you in the future and or whether they inch their way with words to that hope. Edited September 28, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Some girls/women do not like to hear it if you tell them you got hit on by someone else. So to solve that I can for example say I can give her full transparency regarding getting hit on IF she wants to hear it. If not, then I keep it to myself. But in my opinion at least the option for full transparency in the relationship should be there. If you're not fully transparent and haven't offered her that option, and she's find out via her friends or something, then that can influence how much she trusts you. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 My husband wouldn't want to know so I wouldn't tell him unless there was a funny/relevant story attached to it. If it was just some random guy hitting on me, I wouldn't bring it up out of the blue because there's no to bother him with stuff like that. I think a lot of the time it comes down to intent. If you're telling your boyfriend because you want to see his reaction or make him jealous, then you should just keep it to yourself. (And it goes without saying that you don't give out your number, right?!) Link to post Share on other sites
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