redblack66 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Are there still females that appreciate when their partner is always available, or most of them want the challenge and mystery. I am talking ages 45+.
Yuzuki Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I'm 22 so it might not count, but I actually prefer it that way. It seems like whenever I fall in love I want to be with that person all the time and text them when I'm not, but usually that's not what they want. Sucks.
TheDovic Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I'm not a woman but I fully believe some ex's will appreciate you being around "as a friend" but not as a lover. Regardless of age I believe all women desire a mysterious, strong and confident man! Maybe aged 45+ they might feel more prepared to settle to avoid being alone, but if you settled would you be happy? Alternatively if someone settled for you would you be happy?
TheDovic Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Sorry I misread your post! I think it depends on the woman to be honest!!!
Author redblack66 Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 I'm 22 so it might not count, but I actually prefer it that way. It seems like whenever I fall in love I want to be with that person all the time and text them when I'm not, but usually that's not what they want. Sucks. This is good news, 22 and prefers that. I feel that in my last relationship I was way too available, but not in the mind set of playing hard to catch.
Author redblack66 Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 I'm not a woman but I fully believe some ex's will appreciate you being around "as a friend" but not as a lover. Regardless of age I believe all women desire a mysterious, strong and confident man! Maybe aged 45+ they might feel more prepared to settle to avoid being alone, but if you settled would you be happy? Alternatively if someone settled for you would you be happy? I fully understand what you are saying, but after certain point, I thought some people are tired of mystery and thinking about it. I am strong, confident, but I suspect I was too available.
wilsonx Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Just be yourself in any relationship, I read your last post and there were a bunch of red flags to begin with #1 she was 2 months out of her last relationship (this is rebound range) #2 she talked about her ex who "CHEATED" on her alot. She talked about all her past relationships? They all cheated on her? I think she might be playing the victim card to make herself look better and looking for that knight n shining armor to save her #3 you honestly do not know why her past relationships ended. it doesnt matter really. One of my favorite sayings came from an established member of this board. You sound like a good guy and you take care of those that you care about but you cant be captain fix a hoe. Let them fix their own problems and you fix your own. If a girl/woman can't solve her own problems in the 40 range without the emotional support from a guy, then those are the ones to stay away from
Author redblack66 Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 Just be yourself in any relationship, I read your last post and there were a bunch of red flags to begin with #1 she was 2 months out of her last relationship (this is rebound range) I did not know this was rebound range. Now, I know. #2 she talked about her ex who "CHEATED" on her alot. She talked about all her past relationships? They all cheated on her? I think she might be playing the victim card to make herself look better and looking for that knight n shining armor to save her #3 you honestly do not know why her past relationships ended. it doesnt matter really. Does not at all. One of my favorite sayings came from an established member of this board. You sound like a good guy and you take care of those that you care about but you cant be captain fix a hoe. Let them fix their own problems and you fix your own. If a girl/woman can't solve her own problems in the 40 range without the emotional support from a guy, then those are the ones to stay away from So true. Although I saw serious problems with self esteem, confidence, depression, I thought they would go away with time. Wrong.
Yuzuki Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 This is good news, 22 and prefers that. I feel that in my last relationship I was way too available, but not in the mind set of playing hard to catch. I honestly don't understand the whole hard to catch thing. Why would you want the one you're interested in to be hard to catch? Isn't that counter-intuitive? It looks like most people do prefer that, but at least not everyone, as you can see.
Luckless Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I honestly don't understand the whole hard to catch thing. Why would you want the one you're interested in to be hard to catch? Isn't that counter-intuitive? I agree, I never got that. I know certain guys just love the hunt, it's like a game to them. Now if I were to play hard to catch, and a guy kept bugging me, I would think of them as a stalker. I had one of those once, he'd call and text me although he was two states away!!
stillafool Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Are there still females that appreciate when their partner is always available, or most of them want the challenge and mystery. I am talking ages 45+. I personally like a man to be busy. I'm busy and have hobbies and other things I like to do. I want him to be passionate about something other than me.
M2155 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 (edited) I think some people misconstrue "hard-to-get" with having your own separate interests, things to do and there being some give-and-take. Sure if neither of you have a life, okay that can work, but I was way too available in my last relationship. If the minute I have free time he was the first person I called. He never had to call me. He eventually knew if he wanted to see me I would always be there because I'd probably drop whatever for him first. I hope I wasn't that bad but it sounds kinda pathetic. If I imagine someone who was always there with me at the drop of a dime or we spent all our time together, that would get boring. "What did you do this weekend?" "Oh nevermind I was there." There is absolutely nothing wrong with spending tons of time together but don't sacrifice your wants and needs just to please the other person all the time. Go after some things you want, that's exciting to see, support, talk about... Do your own thing with your own friends sometimes. It's not interesting if you are there at the person's beck-and-call, that's why we have puppies. Don't take "mystery" too literally if you are in an established relationship, it just means you don't want to know every damn thing about the person all the time. If everything you could ever want could just be handed to you, you probably wouldn't want it as much. I've never been married, looking forward to it, but it's hard for me to imagine 20 years in what our conversations are like. But I hope (cross my fingers) we have careers or hobbies and things from our outside world that brings fresh perspectives or debates into our time together. Edited September 27, 2011 by M2155
Author redblack66 Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 I should have added we saw each other every other weekend and almost all Wednesdays. Not enough for me to be always available. But, I wanted to spend more time with her.
TheDovic Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I fully understand what you are saying, but after certain point, I thought some people are tired of mystery and thinking about it. I am strong, confident, but I suspect I was too available. I do honestly believe being too available can be a problem. My ex and I were together every single night. Maybe if we had a few social outlets to have a chance to miss each other we'd still be together now!
radiodarcy Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I do honestly believe being too available can be a problem. My ex and I were together every single night. Maybe if we had a few social outlets to have a chance to miss each other we'd still be together now! i agree with this. there has to be a balance. i don't like it when a partner is constantly sending me texts and calling. i like to know that they have a life too
Author redblack66 Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 i agree with this. there has to be a balance. i don't like it when a partner is constantly sending me texts and calling. i like to know that they have a life too Well, in my case, if I was not responding reasonably fast, say half a day, she would get worried. So I was responding and calling...
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