Kageytn Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I have ignored two texts and one phone call. He is pushing hard as I pull away but you know what? I don't really care. I can feel my emotional connection to him falling apart. I am so glad. I wasn't sure it was ever going to happen. It scares the hell out of me. My emotional void is calling to be filled by him and my future is uncertain. It makes me want to talk to him for reassurance but I am resisting. The cycle has to be broken. The door separating us must not be opened. Today is a good day-new mailbox, studying, sun shining and therapy. Let's hope the trend continues.
IfiKnewThen Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 go you. hang in there. what is he saying? why is he calling? just curious. was it you or him who was the dumper? anyway it doesnt matter: ) you are healing and doing better. congratz!!!!! always a great see to a good hopeful post like this. keep up the good work!!
Author Kageytn Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 Messy situation. I usually broke it off with him when he wouldn't commit to anything. Then, he would inch forward and I would come back. This time it was marriage or nothing. He broke up and I got nothing. It is a very controlling, toxic, push-pull relationship. Now that I am moving on-dating some, therapy, new friends-he is realizing he is losing control. He texts stupid stuff like the toe sucking guy or cultural news. He calls and tells me about his therapy and his feelings. He asks about mine. He tries to find out what I am doing and who I am doing it with. He asked last week if I had sex with anyone else. I told him he wasn't allowed to ask such questions since we were no longer in a relationship. I'm trying to go NC but I haven't quite been able to. I am getting there.
PelicanPete Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 This is great news Kageytn! I'm glad that those emotional chains are rusting away. It scares the hell out of me. My emotional void is calling to be filled by him and my future is uncertain. It makes me want to talk to him for reassurance but I am resisting. . I remember having that same feeling, and it scared me too. What helped me was filling that void with myself and my desires, which eventually replaced the affection for my ex with an affection for my own development. At that point my greatest desire was to get in superior shape, so I found myself working out 6x a week until I was satisfied You're on the right track! Just don't fuel the flame for your ex and it will soon be extinguished.
IfiKnewThen Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 hi kag by the sound of him asking about your sex life, it sounds like he has less serious things on his mind....and commitment is not one of them. to me he showed his true colors. its great youre cutting your losses. you sound like you have his number to the tee. personally, even tho i dont know you...i cant wait till you cut him off and go N/C for good. he truly sounds like he doesn't deserve you and is not a guy who is "in love". sounds too damn clueless and selfish about anything.
Author Kageytn Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 I cancelled with him. I am strong enough to put up with his ****. He has already text and I ignored it. Phone call next. I'm not engaging in this cycle. I feel in control and empowered. Thank you forum!
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