rie39 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 So I've been dating this guy for about 3 months. I really like him a lot. We've already become so comfortable around each other enough to sleep over together and show each other a lot of affection for each other (after doing other things like watching a movie together, going to the park) - we hold hands, kiss, caress each other, he calls me "beautiful" and looks me in the eyes all the time. However I'm worried because on every date we mess around in bed (by the way, we haven't actually gone all the way, just have oral sex). I don't know if I should think of this as good in terms that we have a healthy sexual relationship and feel so comfortable with each other, or bad in terms that a relationship with a lot of sex surely can't last too long, in my opinion, and I want to get to know him in other areas outside his bed too. I'm stressed because sometimes I really wonder if I'm a booty call to him, or if this is just how we are getting to know each other (we're both so affectionate and romantic) and I should let the relationship progress into something further if it shall. We have talked about serious stuff like moving in together, and he has mentioned the idea of me meeting his parents. But we haven't had the girlfriend/boyfriend talk yet or introduced our friends to each other yet. What should I do? I'm afraid that if I ask him "what are we doing" too early he will freak out if he doesn't want a relationship yet. Should I just let this flow and see where it goes instead of worrying?
Pierre Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 So I've been dating this guy for about 3 months. I really like him a lot. We've already become so comfortable around each other enough to sleep over together and show each other a lot of affection for each other (after doing other things like watching a movie together, going to the park) - we hold hands, kiss, caress each other, he calls me "beautiful" and looks me in the eyes all the time. However I'm worried because on every date we mess around in bed (by the way, we haven't actually gone all the way, just have oral sex). I don't know if I should think of this as good in terms that we have a healthy sexual relationship and feel so comfortable with each other, or bad in terms that a relationship with a lot of sex surely can't last too long, in my opinion, and I want to get to know him in other areas outside his bed too. I'm stressed because sometimes I really wonder if I'm a booty call to him, or if this is just how we are getting to know each other (we're both so affectionate and romantic) and I should let the relationship progress into something further if it shall. We have talked about serious stuff like moving in together, and he has mentioned the idea of me meeting his parents. But we haven't had the girlfriend/boyfriend talk yet or introduced our friends to each other yet. What should I do? I'm afraid that if I ask him "what are we doing" too early he will freak out if he doesn't want a relationship yet. Should I just let this flow and see where it goes instead of worrying? Just ask him: Are we a couple now? Am I your GF? I hope we are exclusive, this feels special to me. You should always ask those questions before becoming sexually intimate. And make no mistake about it you are sexually intimate. In fact oral sex may be more intimate than straight penetrative sex. You are allowing yourself to be emotionally involved with this guy without not knowing how he feels about you. The wise women in the forum only sleep with a guy after they are in a committed relationship.
simpsonic Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I find it interesting that you guys have talked about moving in together when your status is still unknown. Ask him before doing anything further, otherwise you will get hurt. It'd be a mistake to invest your feelings in him and it turns out that he wasn't looking for a relationship. So be sure you know where you guys stand.
simpsonic Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Oh, and as for how to ask, you can say something like, "I really enjoy spending time with you, and I'd really like to become exclusive. What do you think?". Whatever his answer is, this will help clear things up without asking him outright what you guys are doing. Good luck.
Author rie39 Posted September 28, 2011 Author Posted September 28, 2011 You should always ask those questions before becoming sexually intimate. Pierre, not every couple gets into an exclusive relationship before becoming sexually intimate though. Can't being sexually intimate help the relationship to develop? I find it interesting that you guys have talked about moving in together when your status is still unknown. Ask him before doing anything further, otherwise you will get hurt. Yes I see your point. I don't know why he asked me to move in with him when we're not exclusive I will not move in with him yet.
Pierre Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 Pierre, not every couple gets into an exclusive relationship before becoming sexually intimate though. Can't being sexually intimate help the relationship to develop? Yes I see your point. I don't know why he asked me to move in with him when we're not exclusive I will not move in with him yet. Are you having sex with someone else? Is he having sex with someone else? If they answer is no, then you are exclusive. If the answer is yes then no one can help you.
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