futuregopher Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 This is my story - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t298728/ I think I am having a relapse after I saw her FB profile. She tagged a guy in one of her posts on Sunday 9/25 when they went to a restaurant/pub in the afternoon. It was an hour away from her home. Why she would go that far I have no idea. My heart SANK as I saw it. SANK SANK SANK. Like someone put a knife in it. It was the worst feeling I've ever had in my life...right next to her breaking up with me. I might be a little panicking right now and I watched the last 20 minutes of Pursuit of Happyness to cry it out of my system. I am on my 12th day of pure NC. Am I over analyzing things on FB? Should I block her on FB? What should I do?? I wish I could just fast forward 3 months, go back to NJ, start working in NYC in January and meet new people. I feel like I'm in hell on earth by being on this campus. Does it get better?
ken_25 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I understand how you feel, and yes, it does get better.. a lot better actually. I highly suggest removing her from your Facebook, and if her profile is public, then I suggest blocking her. I didn't want to do it at first at the early point of my break up, but deleting her really helps heal you faster and saves you unwanted grief that will come from the posts, tags, added photos, etc that you're going to see. Trust me.
antz2411 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 dood, i feel you! to me deleting people off my fb just shows how immature im handling the situation.. also saves you from feeling stupid later on by adding her back once you guys are good again. so i just deleted my whole profile lol
HollyHoliday Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 You aren't doing pure NC in my opinion if you are still facebook friends! Delete her. If she asks, just explain that you think it is the best for the two of you and that it isn't malicious. You need to move on, because it seems like she is I'm so sorry, but luckily you seem to have a lot going for you with the job in NYC! You will forget about her and it will seem so far away, and you will meet a lot of new people and be tagging NEW girls in your posts!
Cowboy1015 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Do not delete her on your facebook, just block her updates so you don't see it. If you delete her, it show you're very much affected and hasn't moved on.
Lucio Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 yes i prefer not deleting too. i rem when my last ex deleted me the first thought i had was "juvenile". just go mia or don't log in. months later u can log back in, and if anyone asks u can say "oh i was too busy for facebook"
ken_25 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 It is not juvenile or immature to remove an ex from facebook. Who cares if it shows he's affected by the break up and hasn't moved on? She already thinks he feels that way anyway. What's the point of keeping her on? There isn't one, just remove her for yourself and your healing process. I know for sure you do not want anymore set backs from something like Facebook and don't worry about what other people think, especially your ex.
shayla Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I deleted and blocked my ex from facebook and I didn't give a d*mn what he thought about it! I cared more for my healing and my getting over the heartbreak than what some guy that dumped me thought about my actions. My actions are no longer his business! You have to do what is right for you in order to get over this. Keeping someone on facebook only to see them and be thrown into despair, humph, that sounds like torture and why would anyone volunteer for that?
MIK1000 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I think blocking them from facebook is a pretty neccessary measure for anyone who's been hurt. In the long run it will help greatly as I don't think many people are strong enough to stop themselves to going and checking their page. It kind of back fired on me last week though. After about a month of NC I got a drunken text from my ex last monday in the early hours, just saying Hi and asking how I was. I replied bluntly with just "fine thanks". I stupidly took this is a sign that her feelings for me were resurfacing and I got a kick out of it and reminded myself of this as the week went by. Then on saturday I heard word that her new bf (one she met while abroad for the summer while we were going out" was up visiting from down south and staying with her family for the weekend. It hit me really hard because I'd had this false sense of her starting to want me back and get over this new boy she's far away from her now. I find from a friend that she had advertised that he was coming to visit in her facebook status mid week. Had I seen this, obviously I wouldn't have lead myself in a false sence of happyness. So in this case, not seeing her facebook gave me a false sense of reality and made me feel terrible for a few days when I found out he was up but in general I think it's a good move and has helped.
Chi townD Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Delete her from FB, nothing wrong with that...and so what, what she thinks. Why would she care? Do yourself a favor, delete her from FB, out of sight out of mind. If you delete her and then she contacts you wondering why you deleted her. Then, in my opinion, she put that pic up there to hurt you or really doesn't care if you're hurting or not. Just ignore it.
StellaA Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Hi I know just how you are feeling. I have only recently broken up with someone and it hurts, really hurts. I am now only just getting strong enough to start thinking about sorting things out and starting to move his emails, photo's into a folder and off my phone so I don't keep looking at them. I have also deleted all his text messages as there is the temptation to look at them and it makes you sad. You need to not look at facebook. Luckily my ex is not on FB but his sister is and I saw picture of them together looking happy and it killed me so I don't get updates anymore. It is true waht people say about trying not to have any contact as I know when I see anything to do with my ex it puts me back. I must also add he lives very close and there is always the chance of bumping into him so I now drive a diff route to work as seeing my ex is not good! I am still hurting and not strong but I am better than what I was and I was with this person 6 years, friends before! Everyone says 'time is a healer' which I think is very true........stay strong as you will end up a stronger person.
Author futuregopher Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 The only reason I hesitate to block or delete her is because I want to show her how wrong she was about dumping me. I want to show off my happy new self with hopefully a better relationship in the future. Is this selfish of me?
redblack66 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 The only reason I hesitate to block or delete her is because I want to show her how wrong she was about dumping me. I want to show off my happy new self with hopefully a better relationship in the future. Is this selfish of me? Don't show anything. Why bother? Who cares? Just forget about it.
ken_25 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 The only reason I hesitate to block or delete her is because I want to show her how wrong she was about dumping me. I want to show off my happy new self with hopefully a better relationship in the future. Is this selfish of me? Don't get caught into that, it's a waste of time. You are going to hurt a lot more and suffer more set backs by witnessing what she's doing than having her see what you've been doing. It's really not worth it, right now you need to focus on you. Try not to worry about what she thinks, or trying to irk her, or get some sort of revenge like "see what you're missing out on?" ya know what I'm sayin? Just try and forget all that man, focus on you. If it helps, delete her, and if you have mutual friends, set your pictures and wall to friends of friends in privacy. This way she can look you up to see what you're doing (and she most likely will), so you may get what you want, but also won't have to see anything coming from her. Win-win.
Chi townD Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 The only reason I hesitate to block or delete her is because I want to show her how wrong she was about dumping me. I want to show off my happy new self with hopefully a better relationship in the future. Is this selfish of me? Yeah....okay....How happy are you going to be when she finally puts up that photo (or her friends put up a photo) of her sitting in some dude's lap with her arms around his neck and giving him a smooch? Bet you'll be doing cartwheels! Do yourself a favor and block her, because sooner or later the above statement will happen.
Author futuregopher Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 Yeah....okay....How happy are you going to be when she finally puts up that photo (or her friends put up a photo) of her sitting in some dude's lap with her arms around his neck and giving him a smooch? Bet you'll be doing cartwheels! Do yourself a favor and block her, because sooner or later the above statement will happen. Sigh...guess it makes sense to cut off all contact on FB.
StellaA Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I guess you have to believe in what's meant to be is meant to be....it's the only thing that keeps me going! Work on yourself and then who know's in the future you may bump into her if it's meant to be and you will have both had a break and be stronger. You may find once you have had a break and worked on yourself you actually don't want your ex back as you have realised it wasn't the best relationship anyway. I love my ex so much and occasionaly see himbut this does not help, I find a few days after I don't see him I feel stonger again. Try reading....I was advised a few books to read by someone else on here. One being http://www.amazon.co.uk/Can-Mend-Your-Broken-Heart/dp/0593055772#reader_0593055772. I find reading and talking on here helps. Also write, write down how yur feeling and then look back and you will realise you are getting better even if you don't feel it.
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