simpsonic Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 A month and a half ago I joined a graduate student/young professional group on Meetup. They have gathering at a restaurant/bar for trivia once a week. There's this guy who joined the group a few weeks ago who I found very attractive in a nerdy/sporty sort of way. We've made small talk, and when the group had a salsa dancing event last week we were partners for a bit. . We hugged each other at the end of the night. Tonight I was deleting old messages on OK Cupid and just for the hell of it, checked out who was online. I saw that he had a profile! Now I know that he's single! His pictures did not do justice...he is 10 times better looking in person. Anyway, here's the difficult part...he's incredibly shy. Even though we've talked a bit, we don't know each other well enough for me to figure out if he likes me. I'd like to get to know him one-on-one but I'm not one to ask guys out (not my style) and I don't want to scare him off. Should I just continue getting to know him through trivia for now? Maybe even shoot him a message on OKC? *(as I'm far better communicating in writing than face to face). Any other possible ways to get the ball rolling? *
Cee Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I wouldn't send him a message on OKC although if you weren't browsing anonymously on there, he'll see you "stalked" him. If the two of you can't talk face to face, you can't date. I would pretend OKC doesn't exist and try to flirt with him in person at trivia. Getting the ball rolling is showing overt interest and ensuring you have one on one time to talk at the meetups. If you talk and flirt with him, he'll get the hint. He might think you are simply a friendly person, but if you give him special attention, he'll notice that. I met my BF at a meetup. I don't remember how I flirted with him, but we spent about an hour alone talking. And we closed the night by exchanging numbers. I'm glad he called two days later, but if he hadn't, I would have gone to the meetup the next week and not worried about it. We are still attending the meetup and are now one of the handful of dating success stories. The founder of the meetup met his future wife there. Get out there and don't let your fear stop you.
Author simpsonic Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 I currently don't have any pictures up on OKC...I did previously but I was sick of random guys sending "U r hawt" messages and decided to take them down. I'm actually thinking of disabling my profile again (not because of this guy!) I happened to see his profile after my pictures were gone. So he has no idea that I looked at his profile. I'm NOT good at flirting at all as I'm pretty shy myself. I'm used to guys approaching me, not the other way around. So far I've tried to show interest by asking questions, but I've tried this in the past and everyone just thought I was being friendly. Guess I need to amp it up. Just need to know how. Tips appreciated!!
Lucky_One Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 "Hey, Billly-Bob, you really impressed me with that answer about a baculum! Want to go to Buffalo Wild Wings and grab a beer and play a little more trivia?" This trivia group is a great thing, bc if you take the trivia "outside" the group, it gives you something to talk about (a perk for the shy!).
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