charlie88 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 (edited) I was dating this girl for a while. It was great except she was a recovering addict. She relapsed about a month and a half ago. Everone told me I should have left her but I stuck it out and tried to help her. Got her parents involved. Her therapist said I probably saved her life. Anyway, after all this she started acting really distant from me and we eventually broke up. Her with me. About a week later I went out with this other girl as friends and she got jealous and started texting me. Few days later I asked that if she had feelings still why we couldn't just work it out. She said she'd think about it. Then, we were supposed to hang out but she said she couldn't because of time constraints. The next day I tried calling her and I got a "doing chorees" text. So I asked her if she could get back to me when she had a moment. That night, after no response, I sent her another text saying, are you ok? I'm worried. I'm going out tonight was wondering if you wanted to come. The next day in the afternoon she calls and says she didn't answer because she went to stay at the beach. I asked her if everything was ok, her voice sounded shakey. I later found out from her neighbor who is her friend, completely by accident, that she had stayed home that night. Regardless I don't understand how thats an excuse not to send a "im ok" text. The only other time when she wouldn't answer me was when she was using so I got emotional and I sent this: Dear ---, You sounded a little off on the phone today and I don't know what's going on with you right now, it's not really my business anymore, I just hope that you aren't doing anything to hurt yourself. I can deal with us not being together, with not seeing you. I am getting over it. What I can't deal with is something happening to you. You told me you didn't know what love was. Truth is, I don't know either. What I do know is that past all your lies and egoism, your emotional swings and the anxiety I've gone through being your boyfriend, I still care about you. That being said, as much as I'd like to, I can't keep pretending like we are going to magically end up back together and everything is going to be all right. I'm honestly not sure about what I did to push away in the first place: Maybe it was that I was too clingy and I didn't give you the space you wanted. Thing is, I was scared ****less about the drugs, I still am. Or Maybe you just resented me for trying to keep you away from them. I just hope that one day you find someone that will care about you as much as I did and, when that day comes, you are able to care about that person too. Love, ---- I feel like I made a mistake... Should I not contact her anymore... I felt like I was making progress and I'd feel like **** if I know that I ruined it. Edited September 26, 2011 by charlie88
ShannonMI Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 I was dating this girl for a while. It was great except she was a recovering addict. She relapsed about a month and a half ago. Everone told me I should have left her but I stuck it out and tried to help her. Got her parents involved. Her therapist said I probably saved her life. Anyway, after all this she started acting really distant from me and we eventually broke up. Her with me. About a week later I went out with this other girl as friends and she got jealous and started texting me. Few days later I asked that if she had feelings still why we couldn't just work it out. She said she'd think about it. Then, we were supposed to hang out but she said she couldn't because of time constraints. The next day I tried calling her and I got a "doing chorees" text. So I asked her if she could get back to me when she had a moment. That night, after no response, I sent her another text saying, are you ok? I'm worried. I'm going out tonight was wondering if you wanted to come. The next day in the afternoon she calls and says she didn't answer because she went to stay at the beach. I asked her if everything was ok, her voice sounded shakey. I later found out from her neighbor who is her friend, completely by accident, that she had stayed home that night. Regardless I don't understand how thats an excuse not to send a "im ok" text. The only other time when she wouldn't answer me was when she was using so I got emotional and I sent this: Dear ---, You sounded a little off on the phone today and I don't know what's going on with you right now, it's not really my business anymore, I just hope that you aren't doing anything to hurt yourself. I can deal with us not being together, with not seeing you. I am getting over it. What I can't deal with is something happening to you. You told me you didn't know what love was. Truth is, I don't know either. What I do know is that past all your lies and egoism, your emotional swings and the anxiety I've gone through being your boyfriend, I still care about you. That being said, as much as I'd like to, I can't keep pretending like we are going to magically end up back together and everything is going to be all right. I'm honestly not sure about what I did to push away in the first place: Maybe it was that I was too clingy and I didn't give you the space you wanted. Thing is, I was scared ****less about the drugs, I still am. Or Maybe you just resented me for trying to keep you away from them. I just hope that one day you find someone that will care about you as much as I did and, when that day comes, you are able to care about that person too. Love, ---- I feel like I made a mistake... Should I not contact her anymore... I felt like I was making progress and I'd feel like **** if I know that I ruined it. It's fine that you sent it. Just DO NOT send another one.
Unrequitedlove Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Do not contact her anymore. My ex was an alcoholic. I helped him get clean once, and after he left me, he relapsed. At that point, I had to wash my hands. It's not healthy for us because we really cared about them and we want what's best for them, but they have to want what's best for themselves first. Us being their crutch isn't healthy for us in the end. I wanted so badly to reach out to him like you reached out to her, but was advised on this site not to. They'll have to hit rock bottom on their own to really wake up and realize what they're doing to themselves, and to those who love them.
HappyFlower Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Don't contact her again, as hard as it is to do I know. But don't worry about sending the email - it was not begging for her to change her mind, you accepted the break up, but just reminded her you are worried about her for a very valid reason - I've contacted some of my exes over much more trivial things soon after a break up! Hopefully the neighbour, or a family member is keeping an eye on her. So focus on you for a while
Lucio Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Well it's already sent, no use crying over spilt milk. Though if u ask me, I dont think the mail has any positive effect on her now. Just don't send another one... Or at least post it here first I guess.
Trovador Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Well, you sent it and that's it... but the message seemed to me too much clingy and cheesy, I know this is not what your post is about but if I were her (and you wanted to make a good impression on her) I'd be pissed off with the patronizing tone of the text and... well, it doesn't say anything new really... Sorry if it sounds harsh, man, just remind me, why did you sent it, if she doesn't want anything from you and it's not your problem anymore?
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