hellon Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 (edited) Here we go again... I met someone while out of town for the summer, we spent about a month together. We had a lot to talk about, I was comfortable with him. He wasn't at all my type, but I thought that might actually be a good thing, (since I can't seem to make it work with the ones who actually ARE my type)- so I gave dating him a shot. Low and behold, summer ends, we get back to our real lives, and he becomes totally inattentive. After a couple of weeks saying he really liked me but still being inattentive, he apparently decided that he didn't, in fact, want to be in a relationship, and broke things off. Whatever. Truth be told, everyone that I've dated since THE ex has been a mere distraction, this one included- so I'm not really devastated by the loss of the relationship. In fact, I'm still (a year later, UGGGH) so depressed over THE ex that I'm realizing I probably shouldn't be dating at all... What I AM somewhat a mess about is the loss of the friendship. He lives near me, I don't have a ton of friends in the area, and I would really like to hang out with him platonically. Here's the problem: I got a little mad at him when he ended things, because I felt like he hadn't been completely honest with me about his intentions- and I let him know it. We ended that last text battle with me saying that we should have a real conversation, and him agreeing- but I haven't heard from him since then (it's been 4 days). I don't know if he's freaked out, super preoccupied, or just doesn't care. So I need to contact him, in a way that lets him know that I'm "OK" with things and want to be friends again- but damn text culture, even "How are you, can we grab a coffee and chat" or "Hey, let's have that conversation soon" could be totally misinterpreted, right? part of me thinks I shouldn't even bother. So as a short answer to a really long question, does anyone have any suggestions on what to say?? Edited September 26, 2011 by hellon Details
Author hellon Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 Also I'm guessing I should probably wait a few more days?
antz2411 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 why worry about someone who doesn't care to be with you anymore not even as a friend. cut your losses. you win some you lose some
M2155 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Just my opinion but you're not emotionally tied up in this guy. If you want to hang out and be friends, I'd call him and tell him you just want to hang out with no expectations. As long as a few days have passed from your "text argument." In dealings with people other than THE ex we tend to get over fights a lot easier
Author hellon Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 M2 I think you're right. Antz you have a point too, but I'm not entirely convinced that he doesn't actually care. He's not a bad person he just really wasn't up for a relationship. It would be nice if I didn't have to be the one to break the ice though, it feels like we're in a standoff... Anyway the urge to text him has passed for now, so I'm gonna give it a few more days until I call.
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