Grinder88 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Long story short I was dumped without even a goodbye just blocked on facebook and no longer getting any response from calls or texts, found out that she went back to her ex...my Question is should I text her one last time something like a goodbye/ what you did was cruel kind of text?
sleepykitten Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 No, I know you want to becaise you want answers, or the very least an apology, or anything to make you feel like you meant something at sometime. I was the same, i e mailed text etc, he said a few things that i wanted to hear but never really off his own back only in answer to questions. if i could do it again i would just have stayed nc from day 1. You'll find even if you do send "one final message" if she doent reply you'll feel worse, and if she does it may not be the reply u want and you'll then think of something else to ask or say and the cycle never stops.
mike588 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Long story short I was dumped without even a goodbye just blocked on facebook and no longer getting any response from calls or texts, found out that she went back to her ex...my Question is should I text her one last time something like a goodbye/ what you did was cruel kind of text? I know how your feeling. My now ex g/f dumped me and also went back to her ex b/f. About a week later I sent her an email but I wish I would have waited alittle longer. I was a mess and wasn't thinking clearly,, later on there were many other things I wanted to tell her but since I'm doing STRICT No Contact I just left it at that. To this day I'm tempted to send her one more but she's happy now, not coming back so why should I. Back to you,,, well it's your call. I'd write it,, take a break write/edit again, make sure you say what you want to instead of writing one and sending it then writing another over and over. If you are going to do No Contact I think that would be the best. If you want her back don't beg, plead, call crying. You'll look pathetic and she will never want you back. I too wanted some closure and know how you feel.
Author Grinder88 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 Thanks for the advice...I really feel like i should send one last text saying something like "Because you are not gonna do the right thing and tell me yourself, i just wanted you to know that I cared about you and the what you did was just cruel. The sad thing is I truly hope you are happy. Goodbye (name here)" Would this be a good idea before going NC?
HappyFlower Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 You can send it if you want, but I did exactly that, and now really wish I'd gone NC from day 1. I sent a text saying I loved him, I was sorry for the part I played in the breakup, and I'd miss him, goodbye. I just got a simple goodbye back. Made me feel worse. I thought that'd be it, but sleepykitten is absolutly right, you WILL think of something else you need to tell them/ask/know/check in about even after you say goodbye. And it won't change anything
TheDovic Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 No!!! Buy David DeAngelo's "Attraction isn't a choice" and "Double your dating" books from amazon. Will change your life with women!!!
HollyHoliday Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 What this person did to you in unforgivable. And you are basically forgiving them by sending that type of text message. NC is the one thing that you can do in order to move on and let her know that you aren't going to participate in her bad decision making.
Lucio Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I hope u haven't sent it! Pls don't. In your case, whether u send a gentle goodbye or a harsh "how can u do this to me", it is most likely just gg to make things worse. I know u want answers n u deserve it. But from her behavior she is running away from the responsibility of being accountable to u. She might even feel ashamed inside. If she feels pressurized, cornered she will turn ard n bite u. Even maul u. Sometimes there is nothing u can do.
Author Grinder88 Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 I did send her a text earlier today I just had to get some things off my chest I couldn't go NC without closing the relationship properly because she obviously wasn't going to. I basically just said the way she decided to end it was just cruel and that i did care for her and then ended it with goodbye. I never got a response ( which i never expected or really wanted) I know I felt a lot better knowing I got a chance to say my peace, even though I would have preferred face to face or even a call. But im moving up and on...still hurts but im better than being hurt by a person that has no respect for me or the time we had together.
Lucio Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Ok, at least u've got closure. Good luck bro!
M2155 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Oh boy Grinder88. Listen to us. Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My ex did the same thing to me. Text message then went back to his ex. I sent a note- no response. I finally contacted him and ended up feeling much worse in the long run, more questions, sad instead of angry. Your ex was very cold and inconsiderate. She disrespected you and you can be angry about it. But don't contact her! She has already ignored you. She already knows what you have to say. You will not be giving her any new information. You will not feel better because you will wonder if she read it, how she felt, will she respond etc.. She was too cowardly to face you and one day the guilt is going to eat away at her. She may never come back and tell you, but it will. Right now she is happy (or thinks she is) and doe not care. Contacting her with that message may let her feel like you have said goodbye and she'll feel better. It's really hard not to and you will want to contact her for a while. We think you'll be better off if you don't.
M2155 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I did send her a text earlier today I just had to get some things off my chest I couldn't go NC without closing the relationship properly because she obviously wasn't going to. I basically just said the way she decided to end it was just cruel and that i did care for her and then ended it with goodbye. I never got a response ( which i never expected or really wanted) I know I felt a lot better knowing I got a chance to say my peace, even though I would have preferred face to face or even a call. But im moving up and on...still hurts but im better than being hurt by a person that has no respect for me or the time we had together. I hope you feel better. Try not to contact her anymore though because your closing it makes her feel better too. My ex would not meet with me or even call. He only talked weeks later and like I said at that point, I felt better to get my answers but it hurt more in the long run. Been there!
Author Grinder88 Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 Thanks everyone, I know I probably shouldn't have but it really has made me feel so much better, yeah It may have made her feel better too but that's fine Im not out to be childish and try to return/ keep the hurt alive. Im just trying to show how much of a better man I am (figuratively speaking) but if it comes across that im better than her ex. well thats fine too, cause im not going back
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