filmbuffy Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Long story short my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me about 2 months ago, with little to no explanation other than she has fallen out of love with me and she needed time to live life as an individual to figure out who she was, what makes her happy and what she wanted out of life. Actually she said she doubts she was ever in love with me. I would not describe our relationship as being perfect, we hit a few speed bumps along the way, but no major blow outs! So her abruptly ending things with me was a complete blindside! As things began to unfold, it turns out there was someone else with whom she moved in with only 3 weeks after ending things with me. As time goes by, I have found out that she didn't tell anyone about me, I didn't exist, not even this "new" person. This "new" person learned about me only days before my gf broke up with me and she had told that person we were over. The way she is behaving is puzzling as well, she is acting like I was horrible towards her, that the last 3 years were just awful, like she was in prison. She has removed all images of me from her facebook page, like I am some sort of painful memory. I just don't understand how someone can be this way, I am absolutely crushed and quite frankly now feel like I've been used for the past 3 years. She was the center of my universe! I would have given her the world! Now I question if our relationship was even ever genuine. It has been 2 months and I'm still a complete wreck and miss this person even though she is being so horrible. What is wrong with me? I don't understand any of this....
PegNosePete Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 she has fallen out of love with me There is another guy. she needed time to live life as an individual There is another guy. to figure out who she was There is another guy. what makes her happy and what she wanted out of life There is another guy. she doubts she was ever in love with me There is another guy. As things began to unfold, it turns out there was someone else with whom she moved in with only 3 weeks after ending things with me. Yeah... thought as much! Dude she was cheating on you. Don't allow her to be horrible to you any more. You need to go NC with her right now.
Rorschach64 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Filmbuffy, There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! I have had this happen myself and exposed the lie to only made out to be some sort of evil moronic vengeful SOB by my ex fiancee. I am 3 months NC and it isn't easy but you must go NC and forget her as best as possible. Don't even bother trying to confront her 'cause she will only try to make you in to the bad guy.
stillafool Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 The only problem with you is you are giving too much thought and time thinking about a cold hearted cow who basically used you for what time she needed you. Whenever you start to miss her think about what she said "never really sure she ever loved you".
praxisdorian Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Long story short my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me about 2 months ago, with little to no explanation other than she has fallen out of love with me and she needed time to live life as an individual to figure out who she was, what makes her happy and what she wanted out of life. Actually she said she doubts she was ever in love with me. I would not describe our relationship as being perfect, we hit a few speed bumps along the way, but no major blow outs! So her abruptly ending things with me was a complete blindside! As things began to unfold, it turns out there was someone else with whom she moved in with only 3 weeks after ending things with me. As time goes by, I have found out that she didn't tell anyone about me, I didn't exist, not even this "new" person. This "new" person learned about me only days before my gf broke up with me and she had told that person we were over. The way she is behaving is puzzling as well, she is acting like I was horrible towards her, that the last 3 years were just awful, like she was in prison. She has removed all images of me from her facebook page, like I am some sort of painful memory. I just don't understand how someone can be this way, I am absolutely crushed and quite frankly now feel like I've been used for the past 3 years. She was the center of my universe! I would have given her the world! Now I question if our relationship was even ever genuine. It has been 2 months and I'm still a complete wreck and miss this person even though she is being so horrible. What is wrong with me? I don't understand any of this.... It's tough. It might help if you understand that the person you were in a relationship did not exist. What you were in love with was a figment of your imagination. So many people are quite capable of playing a role in a relationship. But, the role is not who they are. The person you were paired with was a self absorbed, emotionally unavailable person. No person of worth simply leaves a relationship without attempting to make it work. If they do, then the relationship wasn't important to them... ever. Much of our affection and "love" is born of a shared history together. For someone to dump that history without notice or a second thought indicates a narcissistic bent. And, you don't want any part of that. Consider yourself lucky.
mike588 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 It's tough. It might help if you understand that the person you were in a relationship did not exist. What you were in love with was a figment of your imagination. So many people are quite capable of playing a role in a relationship. But, the role is not who they are. The person you were paired with was a self absorbed, emotionally unavailable person. No person of worth simply leaves a relationship without attempting to make it work. If they do, then the relationship wasn't important to them... ever. Much of our affection and "love" is born of a shared history together. For someone to dump that history without notice or a second thought indicates a narcissistic bent. And, you don't want any part of that. Consider yourself lucky. Hey filmbuffy what praxisdorian just said is SO TRUE. My now ex g/f of about a year dumped me to go back with her ex b/f. Now that the fog has cleared and I look back I also see that I never really mattered and how I was used and see now that she was emotionally unavailable and self absored. I know how bad it hurts. Finally after 2 months I'm getting better and you will too!.
mike588 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Hey filmbuffy what praxisdorian just said is SO TRUE. My now ex g/f of about a year dumped me to go back with her ex b/f. Now that the fog has cleared and I look back I also see that I never really mattered and how I was used and see now that she was emotionally unavailable and self absored. I know how bad it hurts and I to question if the relationship was genuine and wonder ,Did she ever love me at all,, maybe just alittle??
stillafool Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Yes we have all been there. It is also important to remember that these people are not just emotionally unavailable as they are emotionally unavailable to us. Let's be happy they moved on to free up for space for someone else to come in and love you.
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