Misar7 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 I was with my now EX for 8 yrs. during the 8 yrs he left me twice for other woman, but came back within a month or 2, with tears and promises. Things were good for the next few yrs. We also both wanted a baby badly, we had a few pregnancies that I lost, heart breaking. for the past 5 yrs we went through a lot, he lost his job, was jobless living with his mom for past 4 yrs. Just about 5 months ago, he got a good job. Well, when he got it, he broke up with me, but then 3 weeks later got back and said he wanted to try again for a baby and talking about buying a house and all. I was happy, I wanted that more than anything, and thought he was really ready to settle down, but I said first let's get more stable, and I want a commitment. Ok, so the last time we discussed it, we did sleep together, so the possibility of me being pregnant was there..well 7 days later, he starts acting all weird, so I confront him about maybe he is seeing another woman, he says no everytime. Well, I found out that he was talking to a girl 11 yrs younger than me, that he met at the gas station she works at that is by his new job. Well he then rudely all through txt msg tells me yep I been seeing her for a week. Then txt me asking if I was pregnant, I said no, he then never said another word to me ignored me cut me off just like that..like I was dead to him, have not heard a thing from him in 8 weeks. I tried to call and txt few times on the begging, he owes me an explanation after 8 yrs to just walk away no word, after saying he wants to start a family! Well his sister is married to my brother, plus all his family and friends are my friends on FB. Well, I find out after only dating this girl for 3 weeks, she said she was pregnant, it has been 8 weeks since the day he told me he was seeing someone else, she is 8 wks and 5 days pregnant! WOW he got her knocked up the very first week they started seeing each other, he said the condom broke that is what his sister said his excuse was!! I am sick over this, it happened so fast and nothing was said to me, no explanation. He knows how much I wanted a baby and family, he promised me we would! Then all of one week later he knocks some girl up?! I found out she had just broke up with her live in bf a few months before she got with my ex. I do not understand any of this! His sister is telling me she has never seen him so happy! I am in so much pain over this, and I will always have that connection cause of my brother being married to his sister, who they met through us! I will have to hear and see baby news and see the baby..her pregnant with a belly, everything he promised me..I can't do this! I am in such a deep depression! I hate this, this is so unfair! I am now 34 single, heart broken, went through hell to have baby only to lose them, now he is with some 23 yr old and they are all happy and having a baby?? They have been dating all of 2 months! Now he is getting them a place together. Someone please help me understand how he could this?
Wesker Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Wow. Seems like we have something in common. I was with my ex for close to 8 years too; before she decided to quit on me for someone else. Her being for an idiot almost 10 years older than her (she being 35, he being 44). I'm 32. I too thought we would be together forever, and planned to pop the question this fall. She dumped me the first week of June. Also was told she wasn't happy for a year too. This is by far the worst feeling you can ever experience. 8 years is a long time filled with memories, and just everyday things you're used to having. What sucks most is that there's really not a whole lot you can do except try and be the better person. I have the unfortunate pleasure of working with my ex, so I almost have to see her at least 1 a week. Even worse with her new guy too looking all happy as ever. Just keep telling yourself that they were the ones that left. They were the ones that quit. Most likely, they'll do the same thing to whoever they're with now, and continue that immature cycle until they are old and alone. Meanwhile, we have the benefit of finding someone way more better than them. At least I keep thinking that.
flitzanu Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 i think i can help you with the reason he left and why he cut you out and seems so happy... he's an *******. that's not a licensed guess, just an estimation.
ludovico Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 yea he seems like a pretty big douche... it's amazing how much we think we know someone... i know it's tough to understand now but it looks like you dodged a huge bullet...
Author Misar7 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 i think i can help you with the reason he left and why he cut you out and seems so happy... he's an *******. that's not a licensed guess, just an estimation. Well yea he is! lol Everyone thinks this girl and baby will change him, and this will be good for him and he will be a good man now.
Author Misar7 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 yea he seems like a pretty big douche... it's amazing how much we think we know someone... i know it's tough to understand now but it looks like you dodged a huge bullet... I know you never really do huh..and I know how stupid it is of me but I keep thinking if I had gotten pregnant, then he would still be here with me. I know..how dumb!
Author Misar7 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 Wow. Seems like we have something in common. I was with my ex for close to 8 years too; before she decided to quit on me for someone else. Her being for an idiot almost 10 years older than her (she being 35, he being 44). I'm 32. I too thought we would be together forever, and planned to pop the question this fall. She dumped me the first week of June. Also was told she wasn't happy for a year too. This is by far the worst feeling you can ever experience. 8 years is a long time filled with memories, and just everyday things you're used to having. What sucks most is that there's really not a whole lot you can do except try and be the better person. I have the unfortunate pleasure of working with my ex, so I almost have to see her at least 1 a week. Even worse with her new guy too looking all happy as ever. Just keep telling yourself that they were the ones that left. They were the ones that quit. Most likely, they'll do the same thing to whoever they're with now, and continue that immature cycle until they are old and alone. Meanwhile, we have the benefit of finding someone way more better than them. At least I keep thinking that. I'm sorry Wesker, it is so hurtful! Yes, 8 yrs is a long time, and when someone is a part of your daily life, then just like that they are gone! And, they walk away without a care in the world, like you never meant a thing..toss us away like trash!
ludovico Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 I know you never really do huh..and I know how stupid it is of me but I keep thinking if I had gotten pregnant, then he would still be here with me. I know..how dumb!its natural to feel that way... i still have the clingy thoughts - thats when i vent to someone that can smack me upside the head and i come back to reality LOL
CSer Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 wow, That is sad.. speaking from a guy's point of view, he has to be some kind of psychopath to not have any feelings for you after 8 years and just completely cut off contact suddenly. I broke up with my gf of 2 years, and I didn't really feel sad till 1 month later, maybe he will regret it later on.
Author Misar7 Posted September 27, 2011 Author Posted September 27, 2011 wow, That is sad.. speaking from a guy's point of view, he has to be some kind of psychopath to not have any feelings for you after 8 years and just completely cut off contact suddenly. I broke up with my gf of 2 years, and I didn't really feel sad till 1 month later, maybe he will regret it later on. Well he may very well be.. but it has been 2 months and he is having a baby, and his family claims he is all happy about it. So I guess all he really wanted was a kid..I do not know. His family is all happy to like his sister and mom cause they love babies and they think the baby will change him.
sfranks1492 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 I feel for you and I understand where you are coming from. I was in a 14yr relationship and he left me after cheating with my 22yr old nanny. And trust me, children don't keep them interested. We had two amazing children, a home and a business together - but something was missing. No matter if you'd gotten pregnant or not, something was broken in your relationship. It sounds to me like he has his own issues he needs to deal with. And honestly, if he'd sleep with any girl just to have a baby, you are fortunate to get out while you could. It will hurt for now, but you will find love again. Real love that is unconditional. Good luck..
shortee143 Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 Wow that is insane. You are a brave girl to be dealing with something so emotionally heavy like that! I have to say to you (and others like you) that i feel for you, and I feel bad even pitying myself. 8 years with someone, and then they can pull something like this?! I cant even imagine. I have a difficult enough time when my relationships of 6 mnths - 1 yr end! I wish I could fathom how people can just up and leave their partner for someone new, with no regard for the person they leave behind. I wish I could give you the answer...what your ex did is really foolish, I think he will learn that in due time. I am sorry you are hurt, but rightfully so. As said above, you dodged a bullet if he is capable of such a thing. I know I did too with my ex- just takes awhile for us to truly realize that!
Queen of Hearts 10 Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 He is in the new Honeymoon stage with this new younger GF ! But he will get his in return ! I know the young one will move on and maybe his face will be in the DIRT ! So lets get back to you ! Oh a beautiful woman with no diaper bag , and stroller to push around ! You are free to just be the wonderful you and have fun and freedom to do as you please ! Yeah for you ! So fall fashion is here buy a new outfit and get back out there to find a handsome man to start a new chapter in your life. There are a ton of men waiting for a doll like YOU ! I have done the impossible and went to a Counselor ! Two sessions now and I think it is going to help me. My Ex has a new beautiful woman is what I have heard ! It cuts like a razor but if that is his path I have done everything to get him back and no way. I guess I will accept it some how. Because the right one will come my way. Peace out to you ! Queen of Hearts 10
momto3boys Posted September 28, 2011 Posted September 28, 2011 I'm sorry you're going through this. I can tell you though from my own personal experience i highly doubt things with them will last getting pregnant that fast. I got pregnant after a few weeks of dating my ex. Trying to get to know him and the stress of an unplanned pregnancy. Then trying to deal with still trying to get to know him and becoming a new parent was stressful. We did not date very long at all! Only til my son was a few months old. It is so hard to maintain a relationship during a pregnancy when you barely know the person. We have been broken up for almost 6 years (our son will be 6 on oct 5th) and we get a long great now but it took us years to get to this point. he seems like a jerk. You still have time to have a baby hun Also, dont keep beating yourself up thinking if you were pregnant that he'd be with you, that doesnt mean he'd be with you. i'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with a baby my husband and i planned and he left me 3 weeks ago. So being pregnant doesnt mean they'll stay with ya. I can understand how devastated you are though that he got her pregnant. This is my fear with my husband. Every time i think about him having kids with someone else it really upsets me. Im sorry youre going through this.
Author Misar7 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 I feel for you and I understand where you are coming from. I was in a 14yr relationship and he left me after cheating with my 22yr old nanny. And trust me, children don't keep them interested. We had two amazing children, a home and a business together - but something was missing. No matter if you'd gotten pregnant or not, something was broken in your relationship. It sounds to me like he has his own issues he needs to deal with. And honestly, if he'd sleep with any girl just to have a baby, you are fortunate to get out while you could. It will hurt for now, but you will find love again. Real love that is unconditional. Good luck.. I am so sorry you went through that. Thank You, I know that is true, I am better off cause something is not right with him. He has always had issues stemming from his childhood.
Author Misar7 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 Wow that is insane. You are a brave girl to be dealing with something so emotionally heavy like that! I have to say to you (and others like you) that i feel for you, and I feel bad even pitying myself. 8 years with someone, and then they can pull something like this?! I cant even imagine. I have a difficult enough time when my relationships of 6 mnths - 1 yr end! I wish I could fathom how people can just up and leave their partner for someone new, with no regard for the person they leave behind. I wish I could give you the answer...what your ex did is really foolish, I think he will learn that in due time. I am sorry you are hurt, but rightfully so. As said above, you dodged a bullet if he is capable of such a thing. I know I did too with my ex- just takes awhile for us to truly realize that! I know it is crazy to think how after yrs someone could just up and go without warning! It will take me a long time to trust again. He acts as if I am dead to him, not a word, not a goodbye, nothing at all! He just jumped head first into this new relationship and pregnancy, as did his family..which hurts a lot too. I know that if he could do something like this to me, then would I really want a child with him..I know I am better off. I wish that took the hurt away though!
Author Misar7 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 He is in the new Honeymoon stage with this new younger GF ! But he will get his in return ! I know the young one will move on and maybe his face will be in the DIRT ! So lets get back to you ! Oh a beautiful woman with no diaper bag , and stroller to push around ! You are free to just be the wonderful you and have fun and freedom to do as you please ! Yeah for you ! So fall fashion is here buy a new outfit and get back out there to find a handsome man to start a new chapter in your life. There are a ton of men waiting for a doll like YOU ! I have done the impossible and went to a Counselor ! Two sessions now and I think it is going to help me. My Ex has a new beautiful woman is what I have heard ! It cuts like a razor but if that is his path I have done everything to get him back and no way. I guess I will accept it some how. Because the right one will come my way. Peace out to you ! Queen of Hearts 10 Thank You Queen of Hearts! You are so funny..you are right though! I am trying to get back out there again, and thank you for the compliment!
Author Misar7 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Posted September 29, 2011 I'm sorry you're going through this. I can tell you though from my own personal experience i highly doubt things with them will last getting pregnant that fast. I got pregnant after a few weeks of dating my ex. Trying to get to know him and the stress of an unplanned pregnancy. Then trying to deal with still trying to get to know him and becoming a new parent was stressful. We did not date very long at all! Only til my son was a few months old. It is so hard to maintain a relationship during a pregnancy when you barely know the person. We have been broken up for almost 6 years (our son will be 6 on oct 5th) and we get a long great now but it took us years to get to this point. he seems like a jerk. You still have time to have a baby hun Also, dont keep beating yourself up thinking if you were pregnant that he'd be with you, that doesnt mean he'd be with you. i'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with a baby my husband and i planned and he left me 3 weeks ago. So being pregnant doesnt mean they'll stay with ya. I can understand how devastated you are though that he got her pregnant. This is my fear with my husband. Every time i think about him having kids with someone else it really upsets me. Im sorry youre going through this. I know people keep telling me that the odds of it working out, knowing how he is and how she is, is gonna be slim to none. I guess I have this fear that he will be this new man with her and the baby, that he was never with me. His sister keeps telling me that he is gonna change now and he is super happy now. That really hurts, but I think she tries to hurt my feelings for some reason. I am afraid how I will really lose it when I see her with her belly and him with her..then the baby pictures, I know that is all gonna kill me. I am so sorry your husband left you like that while you are pregnant! Why did he say he left??!!
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