devastated828 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 So I was curious about something... When you are in NC with an ex that you are trying to win back...is there a certain length of time that you need to wait before contacting them? What about if they contact you or have been trying to contact you but you've been ignoring them? What if a person's pride is so tough that if they don't get a response from someone who's in NC then they just give up and forget about that person. Just looking for some clarity. Should I wait for my ex to do the talking even though he has a huge pride...or should I be the first to say something. He is seeing someone else but has been having some doubts (so I've heard from people)
Marianis Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 i also want to know that!!!! because thats my case tooo!! :S
confusedandupset Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 I hate to say it, but if someone really really wants to be with someone they were with, they don't allow a petty thing like pride get in the way. I used to say the same things about my ex too; he was also too proud. But guess what? when things didn't go his way with the girl he is now chasing yet again, he made it very obvious that he wanted to patch things up with me. There was no second guessing it because that was what he wanted in that moment in time. NC should not be about waiting for someone else to come around and make you theirs. It should about you moving on. If it happens that he comes back, it was meant to be, if he doesn't at least you know you didn't wait. And even though things are doubtful with his new fling it doesn't mean he'll come back to you when it's over. There's always a chance he may have someone else to fill in the void she's filling in.
Cowboy1015 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 NC is for moving on. When you move on, you won't care if you get her/him back or not. You may not even want her/him anymore if she/he tries to come back to you.
Author devastated828 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 Well I've also heard that if you want to get someone back then you need to go NC...has anyone else heard that? It seems to be working a little so far. That is my ultimate goal. And on the same token....if you are playing the NC game and they catch on what happens if they start doing the same thing...then it would just be weeks and weeks of no one saying anything that would eventually lead to nothing
Cowboy1015 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Well I've also heard that if you want to get someone back then you need to go NC...has anyone else heard that? It seems to be working a little so far. That is my ultimate goal. And on the same token....if you are playing the NC game and they catch on what happens if they start doing the same thing...then it would just be weeks and weeks of no one saying anything that would eventually lead to nothing Don't play games. You go NC so you can move on with your life. If you go NC, you don't think about him, you only think of yourself. You love yourself. And when you move on with your life, you no longer want him. He will want you back. People want something they cannot have or hard to get. And if you already moved on... you may or may not want him anymore went he tries to get you back.
Author devastated828 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 I've been going no contact for weeks and I still can't stop thinking about him and we've been broken up for months.
Lucio Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 I agree on the don't play games part. NC is really more for cases where u know it's over (ex has someone new, ex told u she hates ur guts etc), n u need to take time n space to heal. If it's the case that u r still trying to win her back, u r actually doing the push/pull. The duration depends on when u r ready to talk to ur ex again without going moody/crazy/disgracing. I also agree that if both sides r on this game it can lead to nothing, so if both parties r mature enough, being honest abt ur intentions can be a good idea. Just my take on this.
Cowboy1015 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 I've been going no contact for weeks and I still can't stop thinking about him and we've been broken up for months. Focus on something else... do new stuffs. That will help you forget him. Throw away any reminders of him. Date other guys.
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