babyygirllhi Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Long story short.. My ex broke up with me like 3 months ago. He said he was still in love with me but needs to be alone etc. We still saw eachother for like 2 months after and it was a good breakup, except that he hurt me horribly. He knows that too. I moved about 1 month ago and before I left he wrote to me that I'm amazing, he misses me and will miss me. Then I deleted him from Facebook and said we shouldn't be friends for a while. Its been 1 month since I deleted him plus NC. But now I'm wondering if I should add him back? So he can see I'm moving on etc. I have moved, got a new car and job and start tomorrow. And part of me feels like if i add him hell think im ok now and can handle seeinghim on fb, plus he'll see me moved on and what ive been up to which might just make me feel better. Or Is it a bad idea?
Dark Phoenix Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Bad idea. read your post and focus on your motives behind what you want to do. clearly you are not over your ex and haven't moved on. Re-adding him to facebook will cause you a lot of pain and will only show him that you are still holding on, the opposite image of what you want him to think.
EgoJoe Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 I do not think it is a good idea. I do not think you will like what you see no matter how benign.
jackjoynr Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Looks like you're just trying to add him back on to Facebook to rub it in his face as a way to say "Hey look at me.. I'm moving on from you." But have you really moved on? It seems your only doing this with the hopes that he'll care that you've "moved on" but it doesn't really seem like you have. You may have moved on with life, but are you really over the hurt of the relationship? I will tell you this, don't add him back on to Facebook hoping that by doing so it will make him miss what he had. He knows what he had & decided to let it go. Sucks for him! Facebook isn't going to miracuously change his decision to want you back. And are you really okay to see what he's been up to on Facebook & get daily reminders of your ex?
Author babyygirllhi Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 He actually has his Facebook very limited so I won't be seeing anything (unless he has changed the settings). I'm not over him. But part of me feels that knowing he sees what I'm up to and that my life is going great and everything, I will get my revenge (I tried so hard while he didn't at all..). He wouldn't know I'm not ok. And maybe it will just feel good to know he can see I'm doing good. But maybe it looks like I'm trying to rub it in his face? Maybe it's harder on him not seeing what I'm doing?(he can see my prof pics and mobile uploads as of now but that's it). And most of his friends have me so who knows if he asks them to see my page. May e it's best to leave it be, shows I care even less I guess
antz2411 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 do you really need him to stroke your ego? in the end that does nothing but make him fill more resentment later on. if thats what you want to accomplish then add him. what if he denies it? are you prepared for that?
sleepykitten Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 Dont do it. Because of all of the above already mentioned, and then some.
radiodarcy Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 bad idea. it's going to show him the opposite: that you're still into him. if you are truly moving on you don't need to show him that you're moving on. you simply do so.
shayla Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 No, no, HE*L NO! It will do nothing but cause you undue pain! You will be compelled to go to his page, then feel miserable every time you do. Feel the pain you feel, okay, but please do not make more for yourself!
M2155 Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 If you defriended him on FB after the breakup (I didn't, should have), leave it that way until you are completely over him. The previous posters are correct your motives are wrong. You shouldn't care what he thinks, I thought that first too but if he is moving on with his life as he should, he shouldn't care to be following your FB all day. With FB access, he doesn't have to be curious. One day when he's lonely and wonders what Babyygirlhi is doing, he doesn't have to contact her now, he can just look at FB and maybe that will be enough for him. I'd rather him have to make an effort if he was interested. Why not let him be the one to request you? Then you will know he is at least wants to see how you are doing. Just my opinion!
Recommended Posts