antz2411 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I was recently involved with a female during the summer. Initially she was everything I thought I wanted, I mean this chick from the start accepted me for who I was. I was never scared or worried that im going to offend her with my words or actions. She loved me for me! she gave me something in two months that I wanted from my ex of 3 years could never accomplish doing. however she was emotionally damaged from a previous relationship and I chose to ignore it and so she broke it off before it even started and said she didn’t want to date anyone. she asked me to be in a relationship with her, I said “yes” we were practically living together the whole time we were together. never mentioned anything about her previous relationship. she always always attentive to my needs and wants and placed hers aside. she was very giving of herself and anything. In the end she broke it off because of a mistake I made 3 times (my fault i took her words for granted) and just completely switched off the kindness and care she was throwing at me and instantly turned cold. Fast forward on, so the first couple of days i begged and pleaded for her back it didnt work.. gave it about a week of NC then i went to her work and I personally dropped flowers off to her work had small talk and we went out to dinner that same night, i also gave her a letter stating how much i loved her apologized for my mistakes and and i wanted her back. Went out to dinner with her went back to her condo spent the night and next morning cold again. after that night we would hang out 3-4 more times and we would always cuddle and spend the night but in the mornings she would turn cold again.. cold meaning no kissing... our last night together while we were cuddling she told me she was sorry for leaving me.. i just ignored it... the last time i spoke to her was a week ago and i asked her why she wouldnt just take me back. and she said because of the mistake a made still really hurts her and she would just be mad at herself if she took me back just like that. now i dont really know what to do from here.. its been 2 weeks of NC i just literally dropped off the face of this earth on her.. i know if i intiate contact she will respond back wether its a text or a call but the thing is i always intiate the contact she doesn't make the effort to contact me first she doesnt make the effort to involve me in her plans, i always have to make the plans. i just really want to know where to go from here i mean i know im the one who eff'd up and i should be the one making effort but its through my frustrations of her not making any effort that i have done NC with her for two weeks now. i want this chick back, i didnt know what i had until it was gone!
leoc1973 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 hey man I am sorry for your pain. I met with my ex last week and she told me of a new guy she has been seeing. She told me that he is annoying she said its not even any big thing its almost like she is looking for something wrong with him because her heart is still mine. I think with this girl no matter what you do for now she isn't gonna be able to handle you because her heart is not hers to give you right now. I think you should run while you have the chance. She is too damaged from the previous relationship right now. Tell her to look you up down the road when she has gotten over her ex. This girl will pick apart every thing you do until she drives you nuts. Its funny how the really perfect looking ones are always the most imperfect on the inside. Smart pretty funny equals damaged damaged damaged! Good luck bro!
Author antz2411 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Posted September 26, 2011 hey man I am sorry for your pain. I met with my ex last week and she told me of a new guy she has been seeing. She told me that he is annoying she said its not even any big thing its almost like she is looking for something wrong with him because her heart is still mine. I think with this girl no matter what you do for now she isn't gonna be able to handle you because her heart is not hers to give you right now. I think you should run while you have the chance. She is too damaged from the previous relationship right now. Tell her to look you up down the road when she has gotten over her ex. This girl will pick apart every thing you do until she drives you nuts. Its funny how the really perfect looking ones are always the most imperfect on the inside. Smart pretty funny equals damaged damaged damaged! Good luck bro! i believe she broke it off with me because of the same mistake i did 3 times not because of her previous relationship. i mean from the start she told me about it and she always reassured me that she is way passed that. and when i do talk to one of her girlfriends she always tell me that thats all she brings up is the fact that i really hurt her with the same mistakes and that is what caused the break up. i just cant seem to understand why she wont make any effort of initiating contact with me but on the other hand she always responds whenever i did contact her. ill call she will pick up ill text she will reply back. im just really frustrated at the fact that i have to do all the intiating and she never involves me in her plans. this coming week will be the 2nd week of no contact and i really dont know where to go from here.. should i contact her and ask her why she is not putting in effort? is she just stringing me along? i know she cares and loves me still.. its there i see it and feel it but she doesnt act on it!
Bruised Not Broken Posted September 30, 2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Hmmmmm, well, if she is hurt she is probably not making the effort in order to protect herself and heal. I say continue to reach out to her. Maintaining NC would appear (at least to us broken people) that you didn't care. Don't give up, if you are certain she still loves you. Keep letting her know how sorry you are, that you are working on fixing whatever the mistake was, and that you will do whatever it takes to fix things. If she is receptive, then you will know and you can continue to repair things. If not, you will know...and then you can NC in order to move on and heal yourself. You're a good guy...I can tell just from how you reach out to help people here...so I'm sure she can see that
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