redwhiteandgreen Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 My BF and I work together and are very much out as a couple. We attend work events together, hold hands, attentive to each other, etc. We are madly in love and we don't hide it, our co-workers have been great about respecting our relationship except one new one... But I am posting here for advice because I don't know if it's just me being possessive, overly vigilant, paranoid or if she actually is over-stepping her boundaries... Here are the three incidents thus far: (1) At a beginning of year event 2 weeks ago she walked up to both of us but only introduced herself to my BF, not to me. She started chatting him up until he interrupted and turned to me to introduce me. She acknowledged me and continued making conversation with him. (2) At a work evening event 1 week ago she walked up to us, didn't acknowledge me again, and said to my BF that she was going to email him for a recommendation for a personal trainer (my BF trains) as she is looking for a trainer. She put her arm around him, laughed about being behind on her training, and patted him in the shoulder as she walked away. No hello or goodbye to me, I was right there. We were holding hands. (3) She emailed him very late that same night for the recommendation. It was a "chatty" email in that she was also making conversation. My BF responded with the reference and that was it. I trust him 100% - but I don't want this woman thinking she now has a new buddy (my BF) without making an attempt to even talk to me. She just started working with us and we do have a friend in common who I am tempted to call and inquire about who this new girl is and what she's all about. I do know she' single and looking. So... THOUGHTS?????? ADVICE????????
Cee Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 She sounds rude and immature. If she continues to ignore you in front of your boyfriend, I would gently confront her. "I notice you haven't spoken to me. Have I done something to offend you?" Call her out on her behavior and she'll probably behave more appropriately.
FrustratedStandards Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 (edited) OH hunnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyy!! Ive been there. Don't even WORRY A SMIDGE! Believe it or not, this woman is competing more with YOU than actually wanting your boyfriend. If you trust your bf 100%, then don't let it bother you. Women like that get off on your anger and jealousy. You're above it. Just laugh along with their conversations, or every now and then you can drop a half sarcastic remark. "Behind on your training? Yes well you better get on that right away!" Trust me girl, ive seen this thousands of times (women really don't like me). I PROMISE that nothing will come of it. She can keep hitting on your man, and the less you care (appear to care I mean) then the less she will do it. Also, if she crosses the line then your boyfriend will set her straight, and that will be big time embarrassment for her. So in the end, you win anyways. Keep me posted on this. I wanna know how things go. P.S DONT do the above. Trust me. Believe it or not, if you side with her that works too. If she dresses up and acts all cocky about it, trying to get your man's attention, just come up to her and say "wow girl thats a hot dress, you look really nice". She will soften up, and even if she doesn't, she will see that you're not threatened. Trust me trust me lol I cannot emphasize enough! Ive spent years dealing with this, it's always the same. She's just insecure and needs to prove to herself that she is worthy of a man like yours, and she is worthy enough just like you. Thats why if you're nice to her, on some level she will realize your not competition, and if you compliment her then surely she cant be that bad. TRUST ME Edited September 25, 2011 by FrustratedStandards
Author redwhiteandgreen Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 OH hunnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyy!! Ive been there. Don't even WORRY A SMIDGE! Believe it or not, this woman is competing more with YOU than actually wanting your boyfriend. Trust me girl, ive seen this thousands of times (women really don't like me). I PROMISE that nothing will come of it. She can keep hitting on your man, and the less you care (appear to care I mean) then the less she will do it. So in the end, you win anyways. THANKS for this encouragement, I fully agree that in the end I win. Just have to keep my cool. Some women & men really like to test and then test again... The only this kind of thing does is bring my loverboy and I even closer together because it serves as a catalyst for conversations and reaffirmations of our commitment to one another. I'll keep you posted!
Eve Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I think it is for each partner to deal with admirers seperately. I have had a couple of women seriously go after my Hubby before. He didn't really notice but I did. I had to trust him. One (who was supposed to be a friend) used to come to the house when I was not in. Hubby couldn't understand why she didn't just wait for me to come home as she was disturbing his football! It never even clicked with him! He also commented that her tops were far too small and made her look cheap! He really liked her Husband and thought he should let her in because she wanted to talk about their relationship issues.. At least your bf is aware. Trust him OP. Ignore her. Some men do not cheat, no matter what, it could be that you may have one of those types. It is good that others find your man attractive! Let him deal with her and be proud and secure with him. Take care, Eve x
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