TheSingleGuy Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I've been noticing this lately. This really hot 18 year old girl works at a restaurant I frequent. She is super hot, but she never smiles. I would have never actually realized it until another girl pointed it out to me. It really takes away from her overall beauty level. Generally speaking, women smile way more than men. I've been told I don't smile much and that I should smile more. My male friends have heard this repeatedly as well. Of course, it isn't something anyone wants to hear, but we do hear it. The thing about constructive criticism like that is it's often ignored. It doesn't come naturally to me. The fake smile for a photo...I eventually have come to the point that I don't even try any more. There's nothing worse than a fake smile. The thing about a smile is, it can't be faked. The smile is actually in the eyes, not the mouth. Last night, I played the 1 to 10 game with this girl I've been seeing. She would pick out a woman and I'd rate her from 1 to 10. Then, I'd pick out a guy and she'd rate him 1 to 10. There was this one skinny asian guy with a cowboy hat and he was smiling, huge, from ear to ear, while talking to a girl. She gave him a 9. It was just because he was smiling. I think this is the last piece of the puzzle that I need to get solved to finally get that level of success with women and dating. I almost never smile. You can't force a smile if you don't feel like it on some level. But I KNOW that if I can get this area handled, my success with women WILL sky rocket. There is NO DOUBT in my mind. In fact, I was thinking about this just today. I really think the reason men drink alcohol in social settings is because we relax more and smiling becomes more natural. We probably think it's because we feel more confident to talk to women, and that is true, but it's probably because the women are giving us more approach signals BECAUSE of the fact that we are smiling. There's a bar tender at a bar I've been going to lately. He looks to be 23ish, not in great shape or insanely good looking, but I just know this kid is getting laid like a rock star because he ALWAYS has this natural smile on his face. Does ANYONE have any advice on this??? How can a guy transform himself such that he goes from one who never smiles to one who always smiles? Any and all advice greatly appreciated.
carhill Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 How can a guy transform himself such that he goes from one who never smiles to one who always smiles? Try listening/watching stuff you enjoy or find funny while observing your reactions in the mirror. Forget about the staged nature of this and get into the 'stuff'. Back in the day when I was having issues attracting women I'd even set up a video camera in the corner and tape myself to critically observe expressions or mannerisms which might be a turnoff. Later, after many years of seemingly healthy and positive friendships, I came to accept that it wasn't so much the how, but rather the what that they weren't attracted to. At that point, analysis ceased and I accepted the dynamic as it was.
Kamille Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Actually, recent studies in psychology show that men definitely respond to women's smiles. Women, on the other hand, responded to photos of men who showed "pride". They also favored broody and neutral over "happy" men. I really don't understand the result, as the one thing that made me notice bf was that he seemed happy, easy-going, relaxed. But maybe that can also be interpreted as "pride". Here's a link to a report on the study. You'll find the "proud" result in one of the last paragraphs: http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/story/2011/05/24/science-smile-men-attractive.html
Johnny85 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Hey! I think you bring up many great points. In fact, I always, consciously, make an effort to smile at people when I meet them. Smile and laughter is a universal common denominator. When we smile, we portray confidence and we make those around us feel more comfortable and attracted to us as well. So to your question, absolutely. Smiling is part of your body language, how you convey yourself, which are taught traits. One thing that I started doing was smiling at people at the grocery store. I know it sounds a little weird, but you will be surprised by how many people smile back at you.
FitChick Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Happy people smile more than miserable ones. Only date happy people.
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