shygal1 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 i fell in love with a girl over a 6 month period. talked all day everyday phone and texting .. and helped her get over her ex. she fell in love with me as well .. it's a long distance thing, but we agreed feelings were so strong that we had to meet .. 600 dollars later we soent 2 amazing days together .. she was distant but i knew she been hurt and was still hurting from the ex. she said she was confused, and i guess i pushed her a bit ... i gave her so much time and been patient.. we got into some arguments and she told me to stop texting her .. i gave it a week and asked how she was... and she has no interest in even being friends.. what should my next step be.. i treated her with respect .. didn't push her. and showed nothing but love for her .. i made a few mistakes .. but i'm human
mike588 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 i fell in love with a girl over a 6 month period. talked all day everyday phone and texting .. and helped her get over her ex. she fell in love with me as well .. it's a long distance thing, but we agreed feelings were so strong that we had to meet .. 600 dollars later we soent 2 amazing days together .. she was distant but i knew she been hurt and was still hurting from the ex. she said she was confused, and i guess i pushed her a bit ... i gave her so much time and been patient.. we got into some arguments and she told me to stop texting her .. i gave it a week and asked how she was... and she has no interest in even being friends.. what should my next step be.. i treated her with respect .. didn't push her. and showed nothing but love for her .. i made a few mistakes .. but i'm human How long is the "long distance thing"? How did you fall in love before you even met? Anyway let me say this from experience if she is still hurting from the ex. you probably don't stand much of a chance with her,, believe me, I know. Next step, Tell her how you feel, what you want then leave it at that, go No Contact. She will know how you feel, what you want now it's up to her.
Author shygal1 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 she's a short plane ride away .. i am pretty weathy and i was open to a move we phoned, texted, skyped ... we have so much in common .. we became best friends ... so it's hard for me to think she'd just cut me off but yes .. the ex was a problem but i was understanding .. and really there is no hope there . which is why i was understanding i left off with her .. with i understand i still love you and will be here if u need me .. and she did not repond
Crazy4what Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Just stop, theres plenty of fish out there. You mentioned your wealthy... Travel the world... Thats what I did. But my stupid mind keep breaking NC. whenebvr I get back home and demons fill inside my head asking to contact her again... bahhh
tehsensitive1 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 She went back with the ex.. Red flag is right there if she completely went no contact on you, accept it and try to find someone else.. You can try to win her over but why try when her heart is towards someone else.
lonelynyc Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound like love. I'm being harsh, but I think someone being real with you is what will help the most. From the description it sounds like you two met online, as we all know how someone presents themselves online can be entirely different than how they are in person. In person, she was somewhat distant and confused... Guess what, that's who she really is, forget the bonding online, what you experienced in person is what you get. Also, your online relationship cannot rival her real old relationship with her ex, no matter how dysfunctional it was. Only in the movies would you have the upper hand. It's time to move on. You lost a woman that you didn't really know, and that's just the truth. It might hurt, but you can't let it sour you to love, because real love does not at all resemble what you found with her. You need to meet a woman in your area, someone who you can really get to know, for better or for worse. Consider yourself lucky, you didn't really have to spend time with her enough to develop that real attachment, the type where you see someone every day and come to rely on them. Consider it a learning experience.
TheDovic Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 It's unreal the amount of times I read threads on this site where a relationship has broken down and we can't believe it because we were so "nice" to our ex's. This happened with mine and with so many others I see! Maybe the key is to not be so nice, because in reality when we give people everything they want there's no challenge anymore and attraction is built on tension which is created by a challenge i.e. never really knowing how much someone likes us makes us feel a lot more attracted to someone who we are certain is attracted to us (I've posted the research on this a few days ago in a seperate thread, so this is correct). If you really want this girl back then give her a bit of space to miss you, work on your own self esteem in the meantime and if you still want to contact her after a few weeks don't do it in a super serious way. Don't always ask how her day has been etc... this is what friends are for, not lovers. Tease her, playfully call her names and persist with this even if she gets a bit upset. I know this sounds like it would never work but I've read over 50 books since my ex dumped me and guess what? They all say this same thing. Plus when I see my friends who are successful with women they all do this. They tease them, don't answer all their questions and are a wee bit too confident around them. On the other hand I have my "nice guy" friends who NEVER seem to get anywhere with women, so take this advice or don't... Maybe I'm wrong, after all I got dumped
Author shygal1 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 thank you .. and no it was love ... i know her and she knows me .... i'll give her , her space .. but connections like that are rare .. she agreed .. i'll get her back .... i feel in my heart she will come back
Lucio Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 I've had a very similar case w one of my exes. It's also long distance, we mailed each day n it was quite apparent we liked each other. But I din make a move because she was still emotionally to her ex. Then her ex married someone else n she totally went suicidal. I flew 7 hours to her spent a month in her town cheering her up. One day she cut herself w a scalpel so bad that I rushed her to the hospital. But at the end of the day, a year later she still broke up w me, saying "it's still that person i love most". Just sharing my experience. Hope ur outcome will be different.
wilsonx Posted September 26, 2011 Posted September 26, 2011 thank you .. and no it was love ... i know her and she knows me .... i'll give her , her space .. but connections like that are rare .. she agreed .. i'll get her back .... i feel in my heart she will come back One thing that you should think about is hurt people cant love. Think about it. She was hurt from an ex so you and her started talking. She used your love for her as a cast to cover up that hurt. She no longer needs the cast so she cut it off. I can tell you from experience especially this recent one, dating was completely impossible for me because I was hurt. A lot of people here try dating but it just really doesnt work. Sometimes, its just an obsession. She realized it before you did and she grew distant.
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