brokendreamz Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I'm just curious as to what the done thing is here... I have 3 girls interested in me and am 'dating' all of them, it's only been 2/3 dates each and I am sort of getting a feel for them as I'm sure they are with me. Am I out of order for dating 3 girls at once just because it's internet dating... I think that if I'd met one the old fashioned way, I would not be dating others at the same time. None of them know about the others and I haven't slept with any of them but it still feels a little odd to ave 3 on the go at once!! P.S. I do not consider myself a playa - if anything I'm the polar opposite, which is probably why this feels odd to me!!!
madjac74 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I'm just curious as to what the done thing is here... I have 3 girls interested in me and am 'dating' all of them, it's only been 2/3 dates each and I am sort of getting a feel for them as I'm sure they are with me. Am I out of order for dating 3 girls at once just because it's internet dating... I think that if I'd met one the old fashioned way, I would not be dating others at the same time. None of them know about the others and I haven't slept with any of them but it still feels a little odd to ave 3 on the go at once!! P.S. I do not consider myself a playa - if anything I'm the polar opposite, which is probably why this feels odd to me!!! There is nothing wrong with dating multiple people but I think once you become intimate with someone then you shouldn't date anyone else. I have done what you are doing and I know how you feel. I am too much of a one woman man even if its just the getting to know women phase.
oaks Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 In these forums you'll often see this called "multi-dating", and you'll get the whole range of views from people saying it's the best way to date through to people using the green pukey-face smiley. I do multi-date sometimes, and only for the first handful of dates. If your goal is to have a relationship with just one person then don't forget that, sometime soon, you have to start eliminating girls from your list.
Casablanca Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 There is nothing wrong with dating multiple people but I think once you become intimate with someone then you shouldn't date anyone else. I have done what you are doing and I know how you feel. I am too much of a one woman man even if its just the getting to know women phase. This...I've multidated once and really used the first couple dates as a weed out to decide who I was more interested in. If you are not feeling anything towards one or two of the them or get intimate with one, drop the other two...I'd do it pretty soon too, the dropping, not necessarily the intimate part, you should have a good feel of who you are interested in the most
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 (edited) This...I've multidated once and really used the first couple dates as a weed out to decide who I was more interested in. If you are not feeling anything towards one or two of the them or get intimate with one, drop the other two...I'd do it pretty soon too, the dropping, not necessarily the intimate part, you should have a good feel of who you are interested in the most Even though I'm not a fan of 'multi-dating', I'd be ok with this approach. Anything beyond a few dates doesn't feel right. And definately agree that anyone looking for a relationship shouldn't be getting intimate or doing alot of physical stuff with multiple people. It isn't even about 'morals' for me. I just don't feel that relationships get the best start doing it the other way... People who want to develop a relationship based on trust can't afford to keep the multi-dating thing going for long. What happens is that people start to develop feelings as more and more time is invested. Even if feelings aren't developing right away, there is a natural urge to conceal one's behavior from others... that doesn't lend itself to the start of a healthy relationship. Also, I see that multi-daters tend to do alot of 'better dealing' type behavior. They accept a date with person #2, then person #1 comes available, and they back out of date with person #2... then next week, they try to reschedule with person #2, and maybe pick up person #3 and the cycle continues. Really is a recipe for disrespectful behavior all the way around. FYI... to the OP. Don't fool yourself that the women you are seeing don't 'know' you are multi-dating... especially with OLD. I make a point of telling the men I see that I don't do it (multi-date). If they continue that behavior past a few weeks, I send them on their way. It really isn't that hard to figure out. Have to say... one of the biggest reasons I got off of OLD was because of the propensity for multi-dating. Felt it was a HUGE waste of my time that these men couldn't give me a teensy-weensy bit of respect and focus on getting to know me for a few weeks. Multi-dating really does dilute your focus, ruin the experience of dating, and piss people off. Of course, if all one cares about is feeding their ego, then multi-dating is great. Another reason I avoid them. Edited September 25, 2011 by ThsAmericanLife
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