vhshowdown Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 I have currently been away from my EX for about 2 months now. When we broke it off from one another, we were both kinda seeing other people. Well, she eventually tells me all my problems I have, and that her new boyfriend doesnt want her talking to me whatsoever, for me to leave her alone. OK Well I was upset, took a few weeks to get over the anger and hurt from realizing that we really aren't together anymore... Now the situation has changed. I started moving on with my life. Well, just a few weeks ago, she calls me out of the blue, and leaves a message, that she needs somthing i might have and to call me back, if i want to. Well, she proceeds to call me back 2 more times later that night, and I never called her back. Moved on, even though currently i am not dating anyone. The very next week, she calls me again, wanting something. I answer it because i did not recognize the number she called from. So she asks me if i have something, and I said I will look for it. Well we talk for about an hour or so. Well, she never calls me back to see if I have it. Well, she then calls me a week and a half later on a saturday nite, and leaves a message, real sweet like and everything. Well I never call her back. She then calls me at work on Monday. We meet at my doctor's office Monday afternoon, I give her her stuff back, we talk, we hug and then she kisses me on the neck..... Well, about a week goes by again, and she calls again wanting help with her rent. That she gets paid back in 2 days if i could help her out. I eventually say ok, and do it. Meet her at her work, we talk and she offers to pay me back after she gets off work Friday, and we can go out and have drinks. Well, something changes, so she meets me at my house with her roommate to pay me back, saying she has to work late so we cant go out... We all talk for awhile, and I notice she is wearing the necklace "TAKEN" that she used to wear when we were together, but act like I never saw it. I dont know if her and her boyfriend are broken up, never asked!! Then she leaves to go to work. So, that night I call up my best friend and we go out to some clubs, i have too many to drink cause now I am thinking about my EX again, and considering getting back together, or try to... Stay out till 6am drunk as a skunk... Well, i get home and she had left a message at 2am in the morning.... I call her back on Sunday, and we talk for a while... Monday, I go see her at her work, unannounced, and she acted like "oh hi" no big deal! I eventually have dinner there, and she ate with me while working... As I am ready to leave, she insists that I wait till she gets back so she can give me a hug..... And as I am leaving she says I need to come over and have a drink or 2 at her house, and I say sure sometime!! What does ANYONE make of all this? What do i do? Yes, I still have strong feelings for her, but she has yet to come out and say lets try again or anything to the sort. Is she just calling me to get stuff from me, or using that as an excuse to see me? I am so confused now, and I have those feelings again, like when we broke up 2 months ago!! I have called and gone to her work, so I am showing I have interest, but I am not getting hurt again Please, anyone have any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. THANKX!!
shellgranado Posted May 19, 2004 Posted May 19, 2004 shes playing you get a restraing order against her new boyfriend probley lives with her and wanted you to pay rent because they didnt have it at the time shes playing with your head she wants to see if she can still make you bend over backwords for her tell her to stop touching you stop calling you i understand you still love her but shes only hurting you more
YssaBoo Posted May 19, 2004 Posted May 19, 2004 Don't give in.I did and lost 3 months of my life....I was fed a line of bull the entire time...I didn't email towards the end and he did,so I wouldn't reply...When I did he usually was an a** in his answer. I think he wanted to see if I was weak and I was...but no more....In an email her wrote to my mom he said it should have ended in Feb...Then why did he keep calling and coming around....It's all a game and some people are experts at it....You can get through this,be strong....
Velveteel Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 I guess I'm not as cynical as the other posters. Unless she was a real user DURING your relationship, I wouldn't assume she's becoming one now. I wouldn't ask anyone for a drink at my house until I really liked him or her, and wanted to spend time together. Now that you've expressed some interest in her, though, I would hold off a bit. Don't make a big show of this, just be a little less available. No dropping by her work. And don't call her back right away when she calls. This may force her hand. If she's interested in reconnecting with you, she will have to say so outright, rather than draw you into a game. Do not tell her what you're feeling until she tells you. If she initiated this break-up, it's up to her to do most of the work in getting back together. And don't stop pursuing other women in the meantime. You can't keep your life on hold for your ex.
Author vhshowdown Posted May 20, 2004 Author Posted May 20, 2004 Thanks for all the responses you all. I dont know if I want to be with her again now. It is a very confusing time for me right now, and I have those miserable break up feelings again. But she called me last nite to talk. So, we had a nice conversation, and then she tells me she is thinking about leaving the country for good with this other older guy she is kinda seeing. And I am like why are you even considering something like that. Well, supposedly he is running from something, tax evasion or some sort..... Well anyways, I tell her I dont think she should go, etc... So we talk some more, and asked me if I was seeing anyone else, and I lied and told her I was starting to go out with someone else. Nothing major though. So , she says I am happy for you, etc..... I shouldn't have done that, but I was hurting from listening to all this, I guess I wanted to put a little jealousy in her court... So, then some how the conversation turns to me saying well if you are STILL with your boyfriend, why in the world are you calling me now, especially when you said he didnt want you talking to me.... She says that she is gonna talk to anyone she pleases, as long as she doesnt sleep with them..... And me calling you, I have no intention to get back with you!!! Just seeing how you are doing.... OUCH!!! so i guess the writing is on the wall!! I was put in my place, AND IT SUCKS!!! But as hard as it may be right now to accept, I deserve better than that!! better than her!! So, it is time to move on totally. Right now, I dont want that and it is hard as hell today... LIFE SUCKS SOMETIMES!!!!!!!!!!!
Author vhshowdown Posted May 20, 2004 Author Posted May 20, 2004 You know, now that I re-read my last post. I am sitting here wondering why in the world she would tell me something like her boyfriend may be involved in tax evasion, etc....Federal offense and possible imprisonment. If he told her, it was in total confidence, right. So, why tell me and tell me not to say a word to anyone about it?!?!?!?!? Does she want to see my reaction? Does she wanna gloat over it all? does she want me to be her knight in shining armor? God, I am so confused right now... Heartache sucks...... Life sucks..... My life sucks!!!
sanjnyc Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 dude, you can't have any contact with her. Shes gonna make you crazy. Just live your life and ignore her for a while.
User Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 Everyone's right on: ignore her. Change your number, whatever you need to do. Crazy ex-girlfriends have an uncanny ability to detect when you've moved on with your life. As soon as you have, they'll seek you out and begin to unload their insanity on you. Fight it by simply continuing to move on.
Author vhshowdown Posted May 24, 2004 Author Posted May 24, 2004 Ok. everyone is telling me to move on. So that is what I was doing. But to add more to my now soap opera life, Friday nite, at like 2am, my EX calls me balling her head off, crying so much cant understand her. So, I say do you wanna come over, so she does. We talk till 5am or so. Get her to calm down, turns out her bf called her a liar, nagging her, etc... So they broke up.... So she is asking me if I thought she lied in our relationship, and that I was a really good bf, etc.... She called me Saturday nite, but I wasnt at home, so never talked to her. She just now called me a few minutes ago, and we talk and stuff...... But what I am trying to do is feel out my feelings for her right now. As well as give her some time to sort out all she went thru this weekend.... What does anyone think? It is so hard to not go back to her or try... I need some new advice please? I am very confused still. Has anyone been in this situation?!? Thankx for all the other comments from everyone too.
Recommended Posts