infinity8245 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 A little background: My ex of 4+ years and I broke up about two weeks ago. The main reason was that over the last few months, life threw us both different but extremely difficult circumstances that we never dealt with. We both buried our issues and as a result weren't really able to be there for the other person. We got stuck in a depressive rut and grew apart over the last few months. And to add to that, we started "coping" with our issues by drinking heavily, which usually ended in fights. Right now, we're both in a position where it's probably best to be alone and gain some perspective to grow. But we both at least have hope that we can work on ourselves and piece our relationship back together in the future. And as several others put it, it seems like this breakup had less to do with us as a couple and more to do with our individual repressed issues and addictions. The first week, we spoke a little bit over text, phone, and in person about the breakup (what happened, where we stand, etc...). We both hope that we can piece something together in the future, but of course it is too soon to tell. In the last week, we haven't really said anything to each other at all. No contact...we both need space anyhow. Anyways, tonight she sends me this text (btw, I had a dog named Moxie that she loved, but was mine so I took her): Ex: Is moxie ok? I just had a dream she ran away. Me: Yes. She is literally right next to me right now! Ex: Ok, sorry to bother you. Me: No, no, you're fine. How are you doing? Ex: Will you get her a new tag with your address on it in case she ever does? Me: Of course She dodged my question about how she's doing. Could you some insight as to why...
january2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 She's probably not doing well and thus broke NC and ignored your question.
Author infinity8245 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 Do you mean that she used the dog as an excuse to contact me, then maybe realized she shouldn't have and then ignored it? To be fair, she really loves the dog.
Author infinity8245 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 Maybe I'm reading too much into this. The both of us think it's a good idea to meet up in a couple months to see where we're at. In the mean time, do you think I should be more firm about NC?
country_gurl Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 A little background: My ex of 4+ years and I broke up about two weeks ago. The main reason was that over the last few months, life threw us both different but extremely difficult circumstances that we never dealt with. We both buried our issues and as a result weren't really able to be there for the other person. We got stuck in a depressive rut and grew apart over the last few months. And to add to that, we started "coping" with our issues by drinking heavily, which usually ended in fights. Right now, we're both in a position where it's probably best to be alone and gain some perspective to grow. But we both at least have hope that we can work on ourselves and piece our relationship back together in the future. And as several others put it, it seems like this breakup had less to do with us as a couple and more to do with our individual repressed issues and addictions. The first week, we spoke a little bit over text, phone, and in person about the breakup (what happened, where we stand, etc...). We both hope that we can piece something together in the future, but of course it is too soon to tell. In the last week, we haven't really said anything to each other at all. No contact...we both need space anyhow. Anyways, tonight she sends me this text (btw, I had a dog named Moxie that she loved, but was mine so I took her): Ex: Is moxie ok? I just had a dream she ran away. Me: Yes. She is literally right next to me right now! Ex: Ok, sorry to bother you. Me: No, no, you're fine. How are you doing? Ex: Will you get her a new tag with your address on it in case she ever does? Me: Of course She dodged my question about how she's doing. Could you some insight as to why... If she really loved your dog like you say she did, it seems very reasonable that she did have a dream about your dog running away and it kind of upset her....which then lead to the request about the new tag. Again, all seems rather reasonable to me and nothing to really look more into. She probably misses your dog a lot? She likely avoided the question about how she's doing because she just didn't want to get into it and wasn't contacting you to get into it, just because she had a bit of a spook about your dog.
january2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Maybe I'm reading too much into this. The both of us think it's a good idea to meet up in a couple months to see where we're at. In the mean time, do you think I should be more firm about NC? To get a clearer handle on things, yes continue with NC. If not, you might as well have continued to be together and work on your issues together.
TheDovic Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Yeh, sounds to me like she's upset so used the dog as an excuse. In my opinion if she was ok she would have told you (even in a nice way so it didn't hurt your feelings that she was coping when maybe you weren't i.e. "I'm not too bad"). Dodging this question tells me she's not doing too well. Also, thinking she'd upset you tells me she is a bit insecure at present and wanted reassurance it was ok to talk to you. All this doesn't mean she wants you back though, it simply may mean she is lonely and sad and you are the person she usually turns to at times like these!
betterdeal Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Did you read this much into stuff when you were happy in the relationship? My feeling is you're trying to read tea leaves with this. Don't worry - we all do it - but it's irrational and, most importantly, leads to nothing but a sore head.
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