name goeshere Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 How do you know when you are in the right frame of mind to talk to an ex? Are there signs or is it if you feel like you can handle it?
jackjoynr Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 (edited) You'll know. I know that's not the best answer but its true. Deep down you know if you are in the right state of mind. If you are currently at the point where you are still harboring some hurt and anger from a break-up (past or present) then its probably not a good time to reach out or reconnect any time soon. For example, this week my ex-contacted me (3 weeks post break up) asking if I had some free time this week to grab a bite to eat (He broke up with me, fyi). I was VERY thrown off by his invite but accepted it. But after really really REALLY digging deep down into myself I later decided to decline his offer to meet up. I realized it was too early and I was still harboring A LOT of hate towards him and anger from the break up (still am). There was no way I could meet up with him and act as though everything was a-okay and cool over bread & butter. I constantly re-played why he might be wanting to meet up with me over and over again in my head. Maybe he wants to talk things out. Maybe he wants to meet up because he misses me? Is he wanting to meet up to say he's sorry for breaking my heart? Does he want to get back together or does he really simply just want to grab a bite to eat with me? I then decided that if in fact he misses me, is sorry, and wanted me back, he would flat out say so. SIMPLE! I was & am not willing to settle for implied, cowardly, bread crumbs. Clearly, I knew I was not okay with meeting up with him nor am I in the right state of mind to even want to talk to him right now. You have to decide if reconnecting is best for YOU right now. Have you accepted the break up? Do you forgive your ex? If your ex were to tell you that they were dating other people, would you be able to handle the news? In other words.. Do you REALLY care to know what your ex has been up to? If you can answer those questions with an honest yes, then you probably are in the right state of mind to reconnect with your ex. Edited September 25, 2011 by jackjoynr
Author name goeshere Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 I never harbored bad feeling for her. I made the choice years ago to never do that with any relationship and it has just become a part of who I am now. I am sure I can handle whatever has happened since the breakup also. Today I came to the realization and just felt.... good. I realized what I did wrong, nearly immediately. If I could fix it I would, if it is to late then it is to late. She is a wonderful woman and my life is better with her in it no matter what part she may play. Question: from a woman's perspective what does breadcrumbs mean? If a guy pushes back to hard you tend to pull away but when is it enough and when it it not enough. Is it best to start over and rebuild the connection and see where it leads? How do you know the limits of if we do enough or if we do to much. Is there some sort of secret you can let us know?
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