lonelynyc Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 My ex and I have been broken up for 2 months (only 2 weeks NC), so shouldn't I be feeling better about spending the weekend alone at this point? My best friend invited me to hang out with him and the woman who recently became his fiancee, but I politely declined... Couldn't think of anything more demoralizing. Whenever I go out these days, bars, restaurants, clubs, all I see are couples. People who don't have to spend the night alone. It would be easy to hook up with someone, but strangely it's not the sex that I miss the most (although I do miss it). It's the feeling that you can just be yourself around someone who you enjoy spending time with and enjoys spending time with you. The hard part is that I remember having all of that with my ex. Those memories hurt JUST as much as the ones of her mistreating me. Now, I'm also haunted by the thought of her holding some other guy's hand, going home with him. I'm picturing her having the time of her life tonight. What are my fellow lonely souls doing tonight? Any suggestions to get my mind off all this bull****?
Lucio Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Yes I hate the weekends! I spent them alone at home, on a DVD marathon.
ken_25 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I know exactly how you feel. My weekends were spent basically with only my ex for over 3 years. I loved the time we shared, even if we did nothing. You're right, it's just having that other person there with you, and how they show how they want to share all their time with you as well. Seeing other happy couples is hard, it makes me wish I was more romantic with her, but after what she admitted to me when she broke it off I know she wouldn't have deserved it truly and THAT in itself is hard to think about for me. I'm 10 weeks out, so we are close in the timeline, so I'm right there with you. I've really dedicated my weekends to going out and doing things, no matter what, just be out and about. You'll run into those triggers sometimes, but it's better than being home and dwelling on things. Today was the first weekend day that I didn't leave the house. It wasn't that bad. I read a little, was online looking at YouTube videos and following sports. Took my first nap in a long time, kept texting with one of my buddies that kept my mood pretty light. I kept thinking about myself, and how I'm ready to step up and better my situation and happiness in life. When doing these things, my ex was clear from my head, and let me tell you, that's nice and very welcomed. I thought about her a lot this week, had about four dreams with her in them. So even though I didn't leave, I was ok... progress.
allite Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 sigh, weekends are unbearable. ken i know what you mean. for the past year and half ive looked after my ex every weekend. Made sure she had fun, made she she enjoyed her time, made sure she was safe. I loved and cherished her. but now its all gone and it doesnt bother her. The weekends sometimes just feels like my heart isnt there or theres just a box around it. sigh definitely try to keep yourself busy and out because i stayed home for the past 3 days and i can tell you i am almost about to die. so going out tonight. **** it Stay strong you guys. we are all in this togetherr
mike588 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 My ex and I have been broken up for 2 months (only 2 weeks NC), so shouldn't I be feeling better about spending the weekend alone at this point? My best friend invited me to hang out with him and the woman who recently became his fiancee, but I politely declined... Couldn't think of anything more demoralizing. Whenever I go out these days, bars, restaurants, clubs, all I see are couples. People who don't have to spend the night alone. It would be easy to hook up with someone, but strangely it's not the sex that I miss the most (although I do miss it). It's the feeling that you can just be yourself around someone who you enjoy spending time with and enjoys spending time with you. The hard part is that I remember having all of that with my ex. Those memories hurt JUST as much as the ones of her mistreating me. Now, I'm also haunted by the thought of her holding some other guy's hand, going home with him. I'm picturing her having the time of her life tonight. What are my fellow lonely souls doing tonight? Any suggestions to get my mind off all this bull****? I also am 2 months into being dumped by my g/f and can only tell you it will get better. Your only 2 weeks into no contact so you have delayed your healing process,, I'm 6 weeks into N.C. Know what you mean when you go out and see all these couples together, I too remember those good times with my ex but they will fade in time. How did she mistreat you? Those haunting thoughts of, who is she with,are they holding hands now,, sleeping together are terrible, I know. During those awful weekends I'd get drunk so I would'nt think about it but now thats it's been around 2 months I don't think/worry about it so much, you will too. Give it time,, look out for yourself, don't delay your healing/getting over her by contacting her.
Author lonelynyc Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 I know exactly how you feel. My weekends were spent basically with only my ex for over 3 years. I loved the time we shared, even if we did nothing. You're right, it's just having that other person there with you, and how they show how they want to share all their time with you as well. Seeing other happy couples is hard, it makes me wish I was more romantic with her, but after what she admitted to me when she broke it off I know she wouldn't have deserved it truly and THAT in itself is hard to think about for me. I'm 10 weeks out, so we are close in the timeline, so I'm right there with you. I've really dedicated my weekends to going out and doing things, no matter what, just be out and about. You'll run into those triggers sometimes, but it's better than being home and dwelling on things. I was doing fine for a while. I went out on the weekends and sometimes just enjoyed spending time alone (as much as anyone can really enjoy it). The problem is, my ex recently sent me this crazy self-loathing email about how she's upset about some new guy not showing enough interest in her. Of course I didn't respond, but that **** crushed me. To think about her having already developed feelings for some other guy? It's heartbreaking man. My break hasn't been a clean one, I was over at her place a couple weeks ago, holding her... She has toyed with my emotions, and I have let her do it. Now she goes off to enjoy her Saturday night and I'm left at home worrying about what she's doing. Pretty terrible.
Author lonelynyc Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 How did she mistreat you? She was pretty awful to me for the last couple months of our relationship. Case in point, on my birthday a few months ago she showed up significantly late to my birthday dinner because she was grabbing a drink with some co-workers. Then she proceeded to intermittently ignore and insult me the rest of the night. She didn't even spring for a card... This is just a microcosm of how she was towards me at that point near the end. For the past 2 months we've been broken up, she has alternated between stringing me along, even having sex with me several times (I never initiated the contact, mind you) and more recently turning to me for an ego boost because she hasn't met someone decent yet in her quest for the almighty rebound. My father is dying, and she has barely showed any compassion to me, or even asked about his condition/how we're holding up. So yeah, she's been pretty terrible. But I'm an unmitigated IDIOT and LOSER for playing into it and still caring about her.
allite Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 you know what lonely? you deserve to enjoy your weekend. you deserve to be happy and you will be dont punish yourself by staying at home, haha i do know what you mean by seeing other couples and missing that feelings. it tears me also when i see couples at college. it can only get better, dont set yourself back and good job not responding to her bull**** email saying her new guy isnt as good as you? like wtf? that didnt make sense but good for you for not responding. and dont worry abotu what she is doing because what she is going to do or is doing is none of your concern because your enjoying your life =D
Lucio Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Hey u are not a Loser k! She's the one losing out. As for idiot. Count me in.
ken_25 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 That is ridiculous, the fact that she would email you about that is terrible. I'm really sorry man. My ex had been sneaking around texting some guy she met and even went out to dinner with him and her friends and lied to me about it the last week or so we were together. She admitted to really liking him and blah blah blah, I can only imagine what they've been doing together... so I know, it's tough man. You are doing the right thing with going no contact, keep it up, do not give in. I know it's eating you up, I've been there, sometimes I still fall into it, but just understand it'll take time, but time will heal us both. The email was a set back, but that feeling is going to pass. Call a good friend and talk about something unrelated, do something that you focus in on (maybe you draw, paint, etc). Even if you don't want to, sometimes you just have to force yourself to do something and before you know it she's not on your mind.
confusedandupset Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I hate weekends, and nights. I remember always having this feeling that I could rely on my ex for at least a text message, now my phone never dings. It's pretty terrible when you don't have any friends, and the friends you do have are guys and buddies with your ex. As a girl, and the ex, I don't get invited to anything. It's been two mths since we broke up, and he's never contacted me. After three years not...a....single...word. It's slightly depressing, but I'm glad he's too busy being infatuated with the girl he's been infatuated with for the past two years to bother stringing me along. But, then again, I'm not any happier to not be on his mind at all. Reading is probably the only suggestion I can make. I am currently reading A Brave New World Revisited. It's a good thing to build up your reading list, and your diction :].
futuregopher Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Sometimes I watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall. 500 Days of Summer is a good movie too haha.
Author lonelynyc Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 Ken: I feel for you. I guess I should be grateful I never found any proof my ex was sneaking around while we were still together. Still, I'll never know for sure. The stuff they put us through hurts even more when you can't contact them and tell them how wrong they were. We just have to be at peace with the past at some point, I guess. futuregopher: I've seen both movies. They do capture the pain and self-destruction a bad breakup can bring about, but both movies have such sappy endings, at this point it's just hard to relate. I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel.
Recommended Posts