road Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Known fact WW only admit to minimum. As your WW knows you know she was at OM house so she could not deny, so she admits to making out a lot, min BJ, did not finish, told OM to jerk off. Sounds better that the OM made her O when he went down, and then made her O two more times when the had Inter, oh and the OM doesn't use condoms, ever. This is why you need to schedule a poly test. Thing is once WW hear they have to go for a poly, all of a sudden their memory comes back. Especially as the day or two before she has to go for the test. Don't fall into the trap. A little more detail is given. Never the whole truth. Just enough to convince the BH to believe he now has the whole story to cancel the test so the real story never comes out.
The Blue Knight Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Thank for the response wannabdone I also have a hard time with how she is very detailed with some things but other more significant things (such as why she supposedly told him to stop) she doesn't remember. I also wanted to point out she stopped drinking 4 hours before she made the decision to go home with him. She has shown the last couple months she is truly sorry, and is working really hard to mend things. I have caught her in a few insignificant fibs here and there and it just doesn't help me rebuild trust. And that is simply why I wish she would come clean with her story. I'm already forced to believe the worst, so why can't she just speak the truth. I just want to trust her again Sorry bud, but you'll be asking yourself if you can trust her from this point on for pretty much the rest of your lives if you stay together. As someone who had a wife who cheated, the full 100% trust factor will never return. You have no way of truly knowing if this has happened one time or not. You just happened to "catch" her this time. Moreover, her story that he asked her three times (while naked) if she wanted to have sex, and she said no each time, only to say yes the fourth time is not very believable to me. What did she think was going to happen when she went back to his apartment? Give me a break. The time to have called you for a ride is when she could see it was getting out of hand at her friend's place. At that point she could have said, "I'm calling my husband to pick me up. This isn't a good situation for me." Instead she decides to go to this guys place after having made out with him? Sorry. Not buying it. She could clearly see where this was going. The foggy memory defense is all too common when people get busted by their spouse cheating. Common sense is what was lacking here. But more importantly, loyalty and honesty were lacking. We can all hypothesize on what really did or didn't happen. Whatever parts of her story are real vs. those that are made up by her to save you pain and embarrassment you'll never truly know. Hope you find a solution.
The Blue Knight Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Known fact WW only admit to minimum. As your WW knows you know she was at OM house so she could not deny, so she admits to making out a lot, min BJ, did not finish, told OM to jerk off. Sounds better that the OM made her O when he went down, and then made her O two more times when the had Inter, oh and the OM doesn't use condoms, ever. This is why you need to schedule a poly test. Thing is once WW hear they have to go for a poly, all of a sudden their memory comes back. Especially as the day or two before she has to go for the test. Don't fall into the trap. A little more detail is given. Never the whole truth. Just enough to convince the BH to believe he now has the whole story to cancel the test so the real story never comes out. Polygraph and an STD test are both valid ideas. Bottom line. No woman is going to deliver a 3 second blow job. I've never even heard of such a thing even with a dry mouth. She was obviously into the guy or she wouldn't have gone so far as to risk her marriage. Your not going to leave the guy with a good impression of your sexual prowess with a 3 second BJ. She cleaned up the story as the respondent (above) suggested. No orgasm but they screwed for 10 minutes. Hmmm. He didn't cum in her, she made him do it himself. How convenient. Too bad you can't get the actual story from the guy who did her. I'm sure if you gave him amnesty on not killing him, he might sit down and provide you with the details you probably don't want to here.
mysteriousbox Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Any update OP if your still out there?
drifter777 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I'm sorry to hear about your wife's fling. But at the same time it reveals an honesty and weakness about our humanity. We need to get real that this stuff will happen to the end of time. The thing we must ask ourselves is, can I forgive as someone might forgive me. A one night fling is not the same as a premeditated ongoing tryst. For your wife to confess what she did speaks volumes. She loves you, she flinged "him". We need to stop this old fashion couple proprietary body possession stuff. It should also be a wake-up call to you that maybe you two need to do more to stay in each others arms. Get over it, stay together, Forgive, and move on! worldover98: you are so wrong and your comments simply go to excuse infidelity as part of the human condition. We are not animals. We live in a society that values stable marriages and condemns cheating as morally wrong and socially unacceptable. Your advice to "get over it" and "move on" shows a complete disregard for OP's emotional health and any real chance to recover from this betrayal. The "get over it" thing is the cheaters go-to defense because it relieves them from actually doing anything to restore trust and do any real work toward reconciliation. Justin2011: You feel like your wife is not being open and truthful about what happened that night because in your heart you know her story is bullsh*t. You believe she owes you the full truth, but you will never get it. She will lie and minimize her involvement forever. Cheaters will take the truth to their graves and there is nothing you can do to change that fact. Besides, you really don't need any more details to make a decision whether you want to continue to share your life with her. She cheated, lied, continues to lie, and you will never trust her again like you did before this incident. Your mind is not at peace, regardless of what you say regarding your acceptance and forgiveness. Your burning desire to know the full truth is the first step in a long, long, path to your personal recovery from this betrayal. The recovery process differs somewhat for every person, but the stages are roughly the same. Right now you believe knowing the full truth will help you accept what happened and you will be able to truly forgive your wife. You want desperately for the hurt to stop and are willing to believe anything if it promises peace of mind. As I said, this is just a phase, as is denial, anger, and shame for her disgusting behavior. That last one, being ashamed of her, can be an elusive emotion that nags at you in different ways. It may show itself by projecting porn movies of her and OM in your mind and your inability to turn them off. Believe me, you will go through all of these phases and the strong emotions associated with each one. In the end you have to decide if you are willing to go through many months, probably years, of pain while attempting to reconcile your marriage. You say you don't want to divorce her, but you really shouldn't make that decision right now since you are so early in the recovery process. There are people on this forum who advocate divorce as the best remedy for dealing with infidelity, and just as many who advocate that you at least try reconciliation. The best thing about taking the reconciliation path is that you can change your mind and divorce if you decide you just can't live with her and what she has done to you. If you leave now and divorce her, the chance for reconciliation is near zero. Neither path is right or wrong, and only you can decide which one is best for you.
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