HighStar Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I have been with my bf for 6 month now and we only hang out once to twice a week, if he can find the time and sometimes its not until late late at night that we get to. I have brought it to his attention many times that I want to hang out more and that after 6 months he should want to hang out with me more. I know that him and his ex used to hang out all the time, so I can't seem to figure out why he doesn't want to hang out with me. I have asked him before why he doesn't want to hang out when he used to hang out with his ex all the time and he tells me it was 6 years ago, and thats all. Whenever I bring it up he starts getting mean and says he doesnt want to talk anymore. He doesnt call, ever, barely texts, we barely hang out and then whenever anything goes wrong (we fight) its always my fault and he never takes any responsiblity for it. Ohh yeah, and he says I ask for too much out of him, which is to hang out more often. Am I wrong to think that we should be hanging out more after 6 months of being together? Am I asking to much? I just dont know what to do anymore.
mike588 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I have been with my bf for 6 month now and we only hang out once to twice a week, if he can find the time and sometimes its not until late late at night that we get to. I have brought it to his attention many times that I want to hang out more and that after 6 months he should want to hang out with me more. I know that him and his ex used to hang out all the time, so I can't seem to figure out why he doesn't want to hang out with me. I have asked him before why he doesn't want to hang out when he used to hang out with his ex all the time and he tells me it was 6 years ago, and thats all. Whenever I bring it up he starts getting mean and says he doesnt want to talk anymore. He doesnt call, ever, barely texts, we barely hang out and then whenever anything goes wrong (we fight) its always my fault and he never takes any responsiblity for it. Ohh yeah, and he says I ask for too much out of him, which is to hang out more often. Am I wrong to think that we should be hanging out more after 6 months of being together? Am I asking to much? I just dont know what to do anymore. No your not asking to much!! Sounds like he loved his ex more than he loves you. Could he have reconnected with the ex. or maybe there is someone else and doesn't have much time to spend with you?? When I love someone I want to spend alot of time with her and I expect the same in return. Seems like he just doesn't care about you that much. He doesn't want to talk about it because your putting him on the spot and doesn't want to tell you the truth. I tell him one last time what you want, how you feel then go into no contact. You will have expressed your feelings now it's up to him to decide what he want's out of the relationship.
geegirl Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) I'm almost tempted to ask you if you are dating my ex! Deja vu. I have to say that I don't believe he is emotionally invested in you. He gets agitated when you ask for more time together because time together means connecting and bonding. That involves emotionally attaching. It's not what he wants and that does not sit well with him. If you are allowing it, he realizes he can control you. If you question it, he realizes you are on to him and he gets defensive and angry. He may want your company but that's all it is. I can't see him committing to you. Someone who loves you will invest time in you. They will plan activities to do with you. They will want to have quality time with you. Once a week, mostly late at night is an indication that he's only willing to invest the bare minimum to get what he wants and then he is out the door. When two people are in an R, come the 6 month mark, when the honeymoon period is dying off, the true test of whether there's a foundation for the R to stand on will reveal itself. If there is promise of moving forward, two people will come closer together, not further apart. Edited September 24, 2011 by geegirl
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