allan131 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I have a co-worker who I consider to be a good friend as well. We take breaks together, email each other at work, text each other off of work, and sometimes see each other outside of work. We talk about everything with each other. Well everything except our dating lives... But there's really no secrets between us. Maybe I should go back a bit... When I was hired, we instantly connected. At the time, I was just over a bad relationship and recently relocated to a new city and wanted to meet and make friends. So at the time, the thought of dating wasn't even on my mind. Plus, we work in a high stress job, where people can stab you in the back to save their asses. So having a friend, who I can totally trust, was worth something. Well anyways because her and I spent a lot of time together at work, other co-workers started spreading the word that we should date. When this happened she got very offended and mad at people. (some people acted like high schoolers when this happened which was annoying.) However, it did hurt my feelings a little, because of course I think "what's wrong with me!?." However, we did talk about this a little and mutually decided because we work so close together at work, we shouldn't date each other. Which I was fine with. I appreciated our friendship too much. And... How can I say this.... if I wrote a list of qualities I'm looking for in a partner and gave it to someone who knows her, they would say she's not my type. I knew this, and could easily rationalize that her and I should remain just co-workers and friends. Well this was over 2 years ago. I'm well over my bad relationship, and have started looking for a new one. However, I seem to be trying to fail. Or that's how it feels. That thought of us (my co-worker) dating keeps creeping in my mind, and I detach myself from whatever other person who I might be trying to get to know relationship-wise. I do love and care about my co worker and I feel for the most part she does mutually feel that way... But 1) we agreed we should keep the relationship as co-worker and friends. 2) As much as I know she cares about me, she doesn't ever seem interested at all in becoming more then friends. However, for the most part we try to be co-workers more then anything else. Ugh... I don't know what to do. My feelings keep becoming stronger that I want to spend more time with her. But my brain tells me all the reasons why I shouldn't. I really don't know what to do, and I'm afraid if I continue where I'm headed, I might cross the line at some point and either get in trouble workwise and/or lose a good friend. Ugh. Anyways, I don't know if there's really any advice, but I just need to vent. Feel a little better I guess.
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