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inappropriate hard ons


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Posted
Don't women get stiff nipples randomly?

 

I do! And there's nothing I can do about it. It has gotten worse with age for whatever reason. I wear padded bras and even then they sometimes show through.

 

The mysteries of the human body.

Posted

Peanut smuggler!

Posted
Oh. Whoops. We were admonished against making this a joke thread ...

 

Not making jokes about erections is really hard. ;)

Posted

Old mother Hubbard

Went to the cupboard

To fetch her dog a bone

But when she bent over

Rover took over

And gave her a bone of his own

Posted
When I used to go to church, I got erections more than often. There really are some attractive, well dressed women in the house of the lord. It was always uncomfortable knowing I might have to stand at some point :o

 

Yeah, I was raised Catholic and kneeling during various phases of mass would cause underwear to have friction with the head and produce an untimely hard-on. In the 8th grade a girl observed me and smiled and I was embarrassed as poo-poo.

 

Hard ons happen involuntarily, ladies who don't understand. There are so many instances it's an all-day affair to name them. When I was a young teen, I had a little sister who was so cute and she's stand on my lap and sort of run from leg to leg. It would happen and I'd have to quickly tell her to get off. She stepped on me once and asked what it was and I had to say it was my pocket knife and distract her quickly because I didn't want any more questions. I hope she doesn't remember these 40 years or so later. :p

Posted

When I was in high school, during a math class I had an erection for some reason. At the same time the teacher was asking students to come in front of the class to solve certain math problems on the blackboard. And you guessed it, exactly at the moment my erection was pretty much bursting out of my pants the teacher asked me to get in front of the class and solve the problem on the board.

 

He wrote down some problems on the board and asked me. So I thought, Oh f*ck, what do I do? If I walk up there, then that's going to be embarrassing. So I just blurted out the correct answers immediately and acted like I was a little oblivious to the fact that he thought it was necessary for me to solve it in front of the class. The teacher looked a bit surprised, not sure what to think, but he went along with it and wrote down the answers I gave on the board for me. Phew!

Posted

When I used to go to church, I got erections more than often. There really are some attractive, well dressed women in the house of the lord. It was always uncomfortable knowing I might have to stand at some point :o

 

Thanks for describing pretty much every Sunday I recently have had. Summer's gone though, so hopefully beauties will not show as much skin. I'd wager that imagination will still work its wonders though.

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Posted


 

Thanks for describing pretty much every Sunday I recently have had. Summer's gone though, so hopefully beauties will not show as much skin. I'd wager that imagination will still work its wonders though.

 

Now I know why men really go to church ;)

Posted
I used to think guys only got hard in response to things overtly sexual, but I've learned otherwise. A number of the guys I've known get hard ons in response to things that are entirely emotional, like being told "I love you" by a girl they care about for the first time...things like that.

 

I find it kind of cute, but I also don't really understand the wiring behind it.

 

It reminds me of how my male cat will get what I call "food hard ons" -- he'l start purring in anticipation of food. Something seems to have misfired in his brain.

 

Any other guys like this? Examples of inappropriate hard ons? :laugh: I know this topic is kind of silly but I'd like real responses. Let's try to not turn this into a joke thread. :)

 

lol

 

I get erections cuddling with someone I really like, or kissing them. Not as foreplay but just in a romantic sort of way. It's frustrating when I just want to cuddle with them and I have an erection. I don't know why.

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Posted
lol

 

I get erections cuddling with someone I really like, or kissing them. Not as foreplay but just in a romantic sort of way. It's frustrating when I just want to cuddle with them and I have an erection. I don't know why.

 

That's adorable. :)

Posted
Don't women get stiff nipples randomly?

 

Only if they're turned on or cold. And if you're in high school, there's bound to be at least one obnoxious kid in your class who feels the need to tell you that your headlights are on. "Yes I know, dumbass, I'm cold. What am I supposed to do about it?"

 

Anyway, back on topic. Here's an article for you: http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-most-socially-awkward-situations-everyone-deals-with/

 

Check out #4.

Posted

Thinking about inappropriate erections is making my nipples hard! ;)

Posted
I quite often get a stiffy just when I am just on the verge of going to sleep. Something to do with letting my guard down I guess. That coupled with raging sex hormones.

 

This happens to me, too. I always assumed that it was because I'm a horny virgin.

Posted
Thinking about inappropriate erections is making my nipples hard! ;)

 

Thinking about your hard nipples is making me erect!

Posted

Most middle-aged men can't even get appropriate hard-ons. Enjoy them while you still can.

Posted

My boyfriend got an erection the first time I made a meal for him (Just fajitas with fresh guacamole). We hadn't been sexually intimate together yet...

 

When he took his first bite, he jumped off of his chair and started doing push-ups on the floor LoL... I remember thinking "WTF?!"

 

After a few dozen he got back up into his chair and apologized. Then he just stared at me and finally began to proceed with eating. I was pretty confused :lmao: Afterwards he told me that it made him hard and he had to do something besides pounce me :laugh:

 

(He's become aroused when I've told him I love him too [or even when I've brought up liking the idea of marrying him lol. And in regards to other meals, but after we'd been sexually active and those didn't go to waste lol).

Posted

Usually when a woman I find attractive whispers in my ear, my erection awakens. When I used to watch my friend look in the mirror and play with her hair while she was getting ready, I'd also get a random erection. Always found the randomness of it odd.

Posted
Most middle-aged men can't even get appropriate hard-ons. Enjoy them while you still can.

 

Could be the company they keep! ;)

Posted
So, you told your boyfriend who you haven't met that you love him, and he in turn told you - or maybe showed you via Skype - that those words gave him a hard on.

 

Is there a reason you share every single detail of your R? Is anything you two share private?

 

Someone has PMS today?

Posted
Someone has PMS today?

 

I do.

 

Grr rawr :mad::mad::mad:

Posted
When I was in high school, during a math class I had an erection for some reason. At the same time the teacher was asking students to come in front of the class to solve certain math problems on the blackboard. And you guessed it, exactly at the moment my erection was pretty much bursting out of my pants the teacher asked me to get in front of the class and solve the problem on the board.

 

He wrote down some problems on the board and asked me. So I thought, Oh f*ck, what do I do? If I walk up there, then that's going to be embarrassing. So I just blurted out the correct answers immediately and acted like I was a little oblivious to the fact that he thought it was necessary for me to solve it in front of the class. The teacher looked a bit surprised, not sure what to think, but he went along with it and wrote down the answers I gave on the board for me. Phew!

 

This post gave me an inappropriate erection. Haha just kidding but it did really make me laugh out loud. Not to make light of what may have been a traumatizing boyhood experience because I can relate. I have learned through the years that if ever faced with a situation like this that you just have to put your hand in your pocket and press the erection down the length of your leg or you think of the most horrible thing you can like fatties in spandex with their fupa hanging out.

Posted
Could be the company they keep! ;)

 

It's all the medications they take: statins, high blood pressure, antidepressants, coupled with being overweight and smoking and/or drinking. Something for you to look forward to. ;)

Posted
I used to think guys only got hard in response to things overtly sexual, but I've learned otherwise.

 

 

I find it kind of cute, but I also don't really understand the wiring behind it.

 

 

 

Everybody wants there to be clear causes and effects in that department, but it just isn't true. And the number of teenagers who get them on the school bus, and pray for a convenient school book or folder to hold strategically serve as testimony.

 

The more you contemplate the subject, the more you should come away with new perception as to how intricate the wiring between brain and member really tends to be.

 

Unfortunately that ties closely with how very easy it is to follow your instincts in the heat of the moment and say just the wrong thing in response to male dysfunction. The snowball effect can really throw that wiring into chaos.

Posted
Besides, why do you care...? Don't you have anything better to do then post snarky/nasty comments on my threads? You seem like such a difficult person...

 

I don't care, and it wasn't snarky or "nasty." It was a sincere question. You over-share and I believe you're going to analyze your relationship to death.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
I don't care, and it wasn't snarky or "nasty." It was a sincere question. You over-share and I believe you're going to analyze your relationship to death.

 

And maybe you should ask yourself why you're so critical and judgmental of others. Chill out.

Edited by torn_curtain
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