Had to settle for no contact but now i have the number again aaarrrgghhh

[k100danny]

So after me and my ex broke up we discussed things a lot, well i did. he ended up changing her number, for a week or two we messaged via facebook and then in the end blocked me. she removed the block the other day i noticed and then we saw each other on a night out, we spoke quite a lot and i know it can never be the same again and she cant have those feelings for me but then she text me when she got home with her new number (probably regrets it now) so weve spoken a bit today via text and i cant seem to get over her.

 

I have an anxious attachment style and for those of you who know about this it means i tend to question if people can love me enough or if the feel the same way, it makes me act out and do things to test peoples love and this is what eventually made us split up because i always started arguments i think for attention but i didnt see it like that at the time. I know from the things ive done she will never feel that way about me again and im not sure i would ever be happy but im going to try the no contact thing from NOW. I kind of knew we werent right but i get attached and that happened, it made me change when i got anxious and i didnt like that about myself. i just keep wodnering if i wasnt like i am with this anxious attachment would i have been happy? I know you shouldnt think that way as there were probably lots of reasons we didnt work out but i cant help it.

 

I feel sad that im not able to move on from a relationship that was only a couple of months but she was my closest friend before this for a long time. people tell me to man up and i wish i could i really do.