Rorschach64 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Ex fiancee broke up with me because she thought I cheated on her through a FB chat. She yelled at me nice and good that I actually believed her, went NC even though she adamently wanted to still be friends but was aggressively using the victim card if she was confronted about her decision. Her friends kept telling me to stay in contact with her that she is just going through a rough patch and she will come around, so I broke NC after 4 days but she claimed to have moved on and totally forgot about me just like that. Told her friend of this and she suggested there had to be someone else. Later on her friend found out, the very next day, that there was indeed someone else already. Upon finding out, I put everything that happened previously, her texting someone when confronted about it she would get insanely defensive and not tell me and would go out with a 'friend' she would not identify, and sent her an email (LDR) saying hey look I know what you did, you violated my privacy and trust by going through my laptop just to justify seeing this other guy etc etc, no vulgarities or name calling. She responds with calling me pathetic, idiotic, mentally and emotionally unstable and I should wallow in my own **** for not giving up on her. I respond to this with let's cut the crap out and I want you to listen to my side of all this. In the final chat we had I EASILY cleared my name of cheating and took away her whole reason to break up but instead she came up with the lame excuse there was "Too much hurt" , something I should have been saying instead. This is also another case of GIGs. NC for 3 months now minus a letter I sent her for self closure. My question is, did I do the right thing by going behind her back talking to her friends trying to get her back but end up finding out she staged this to break up and eventually clearing my name of cheating?
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 This is also another case of GIGs. Yeah.. once they have GIGS they are goners for sure... NC for 3 months now minus a letter I sent her for self closure. My question is, did I do the right thing by going behind her back talking to her friends trying to get her back but end up finding out she staged this to break up and eventually clearing my name of cheating? What you did was suspect.. but in the end if it cleared your name then who cares about what she thinks ? She is your ex... and as such doesn't deserve to get all of this energy from you
Author Rorschach64 Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) Yes you are right, I did just suspect and I had no other hard evidence other than what my ex fiancee said to her friend. Though, from the past she was going out a lot with this friend she would never tell me who he/she was even though I would ask, plus the texting, eventually she decided to tell me she wasn't attracted to me anymore and felt there were no more challenges in the relationship because things went too smoothly, said all this the day after we had sex the previous night during my trip to see her. Well I get that I shouldn't care what she thinks because she is gone but I am just struggling internally a bit here and there if I actually did the right thing with what I did that resulted in me finally realizing that I didn't cheat and actually clearing my name of being a cheater. I already know why she doesn't bother talking to me anymore after I cleared my name. I removed her self defense mechanism, the victim card. Edited September 24, 2011 by Rorschach64
Lucio Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I think u r just in an unfortunate situation where there's no winner, n whichever way it turns out, you will lose something, n possibly the same case for her as well. There's no right n wrong here, only cause n consequence. Hope u dun beat urself over this too much anymore.
TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 No I don't think you did the wrong thing! Like the rest of us you're human and panicked, especially considering you thought you were dumped for something you didn't do. In exposing her you have taken away her justification for cheating on you and will probably make her feel bad. Better her feeling bad than you as she is the one who actually had broken YOUR trust!
Author Rorschach64 Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Thanks for the replies and reassurances. I know I lost something but I was willing to work through it but alas it is GIGs so eventually she will pull her head outta her butt but by then I might not even care. Yes I did essentially panic over her coming out of no where with this break, especially since I just flew across the world to spend time with, and then coming home to these insane accusations. I keep telling myself I did what had to be done because I wasn't going to be an object for her abuse, but the way she just stopped talking to me, didn't even wish me a happy birthday, has been rather disturbing. I know I shouldn't want to hear from her but seeing other people on this forum having their ex's at least send them a little something here and there and not actually have it happen to me is sad, but I guess I'm jacked up in the head for thinking that.
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