calna Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 I was introduced to my friend's brother a few weeks ago when we went to this party. We all went to go eat afterwards and he and I talked to each other the whole entire time. I took it as a friendly engaging conversation. But when I spoke with my friend, she thought it was him flirting with me. And she also said that he expressed interest in me, but then he found out I had a boyfriend, so there was no hope for him... Anyhow, we ran into each other again last week at another party and talked for a lil bit. Before I left, he asked me if he could call me sometime... What does this mean??
HokeyReligions Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 It means he would like to call you. Probably using a telephone. When he asked if he could call you, what did you tell him?
Author calna Posted May 12, 2004 Author Posted May 12, 2004 .. I didn't hear him the first time around.. then I went "huh?" and he did the Telephone gesture thing with his hands and repeated the question... I was feeling a bit 'tipsy' so I just told him.. "yea yea whatever sure" and left the scene... - If you paid close attention to the story, I never gave him my phone number. But I am friends with his sister so.. maybe he was going to get it through her? Iono..
Author calna Posted May 12, 2004 Author Posted May 12, 2004 I guess my real question is: Why is he asking me if he can call me sometime if he knows that I have a bf?
faux Posted May 12, 2004 Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by calna I guess my real question is: Why is he asking me if he can call me sometime if he knows that I have a bf? Are you 100% certain that he knows this? Your friend said that he knows, but did you ask if he knows, or did you tell him? Additionally, if you did not mention to him personally that you have a boyfriend, and you spoke with him and said that he could call you (even if you were not in the right frame of mind, and did not mean it), I'm sure he may have the impression that you are interested despite the fact that you have a boyfriend. I would talk to this guy about it, let him know you have a boyfriend, and there is no chance of dating. Explain that you could see him as someone to talk to once in a while, as a friend, but nothing more. If the guy does know you have a boyfriend, then he could either just be persistent, confused about your feelings for him, or disrespectful. Either way, to get that answer you are going to have to ask this guy why exactly he seems to be pursuing you when you are in a relationship.
Author calna Posted May 12, 2004 Author Posted May 12, 2004 He told his sister (my friend) quote "I know she has a bf and I totally respect that." among other things I'm 100% positive that he knows I have a bf. I guess because I didn't tell him myself, he feels he has a chance..
masked_man Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 So why are we talking about this in the first place anyway? It seems to me you are quite interested in him, regardless of the fact you have a b/f... is that right?
Jilly2004 Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 Surely if he really respected the fact that you have a boyfriend, he wouldn't have asked if he could call you. By saying "yeah, yeah whatever"...even though you may not have meant a definite YES, well you definitely didn't say a definite NO and have therefore shown him that YOU don't have much respect for your relationship (even if it wasn't your intent - that's just what HE'LL have seen)....setting the example for him. He thinks that you're not too bothered about your boyfriend and has therefore swooped in. Be careful here!!!
Author calna Posted May 14, 2004 Author Posted May 14, 2004 Well there is more to the story.. in between those 2 times we met.. me and my bf broke up for various reasons.. but I hadn't announced it to Anyone yet.. It was a 4+ year relationship that wasn't going anywhere... After it ended, I felt like I was going to be alone FOREVER! I'm not interested in this guy that much.. but sometimes I feel like I need someone else to forget about the ex.. even though it is wayyy too early and sort of wrong to use someone like that.. Good thing he hasn't called! I'm starting to like this Independent Woman stuff.
UCFKevin Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 So do you have a boyfriend or not? If not, give it a shot. If you do, don't do anything with this guy at all.
Author calna Posted May 14, 2004 Author Posted May 14, 2004 No.. no bf anymore.. but isn't it too early to move on?? It's only been a few weeks!
Fritz Posted May 14, 2004 Posted May 14, 2004 Originally posted by calna No.. no bf anymore.. but isn't it too early to move on?? It's only been a few weeks! Maybe, perhaps, who knows? If you like him and are ready to move on, carpe diem. Sieze the day.
Author calna Posted May 15, 2004 Author Posted May 15, 2004 Easier said than done. I don't think I like the guy. I'm just afraid that I might be alone forever.
UCFKevin Posted May 15, 2004 Posted May 15, 2004 If you don't like him, then what's the problem? If you want to let him down easy, just say you just got out of a relationship and aren't ready for anything. Some guys will take that as, "Ooooh booyah! Rebound!" Others, like me, will take it as, "Wuh oh...so much for that...."
Author calna Posted May 15, 2004 Author Posted May 15, 2004 i think i need to move this topic to the Breaking Up/Coping forum. I don't like him.. im just wondering in general.. why does a guy go for a girl who is already taken? I've seen this happen so many times already.. It's like when a woman falls for a married man..
UCFKevin Posted May 15, 2004 Posted May 15, 2004 It's a challenge, perhaps. Or maybe they just think they can get no strings attached sex. They get booty, your boyfriend gets the relationship part. Or maybe it's just stupidity. I'll never go after a girl who's taken or has just broken up recently, former because I'll wonder if she leaves him for me, who's to say she won't leave me for someone else, and latter because no one's in the right frame of mind after a breakup.
ziggue Posted May 16, 2004 Posted May 16, 2004 Hey at least you know you will always have a back up. . Well before this guy gets a girlfriend anyway.
shortbus74 Posted May 16, 2004 Posted May 16, 2004 It sounds like the current bf is not devoting attention that you want and you find this guys attention flattering..... If the situation was reversed ..........would you like this done to you? Just a thought............... I meet a lot of guys where I work who are intrested in me....... I always tell them up front that I am engaged.............and that said........... I would like to feel that they like me as who I am.... I get their ### , call them to say hi and chat.... and I always introduce to the future husband..(NO HIDING).......and they call him ( makes me wonder if there is something I should know about ) I find it flattering that people do not see myself the way that I do.....
Author calna Posted May 17, 2004 Author Posted May 17, 2004 I was reading this article on MSN and found a snippet that probably answers my question!! People are attracted to attractive and engaging people. If you're out with a friend and not necessarily intent on meeting someone new, you're more likely to be relaxed and open because the pressure's off. You also appear "datable", which automatically makes you even more attractive. People enjoy the thought of pursuing someone who's with someone else. Even when you're decidedly not with your friend, going out with someone who could be your date makes you even more alluring because there's a chance you could be verboten.
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