sher871 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 My husband and I have agreed on an amicable split after I filed with a high powered attorney because my husband was giving me many threats not to split our assets equally. He is afraid of my attorney and he is trying to avoid expensive lawyer fees, so my husband has said he will write up a fair and customary agreeement. My husband is a certified divorce finanancial planner. I am a teacher and he has asked me to call up my teacher's retirement system and ask them for an estimate of my monthly benefits and what that would like like when I reach full retirement. I am 42 now. When I called the representative told me not to give that information because "it would hurt me". She said she would send a current "divorce estimate". I'm not sure what my husband is after. I would like to believe he is just helping me plan for my future but hmmmm.... Any thoughts??
mark982 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 your husbands going after all he "thinks" he can, where i live spouse is only able to go after what is available at the time of divorce, not what will be there years after the divorce. your representative is probable correct.
Steen719 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 If you filed with a high power attorney, why isn't he looking after your assets? Call him and forward your H's request to him. Tell you r H that your attorney will be corresponding with him about any of his requests and that your attorney told you this was the best way to handle it. Amicable, my foot. Be careful.
2sunny Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 in some states... the retirement account gets an estimated "worth" at the time you would retire. based on THAT figure - he will claim to own half of what estimation will be at the time of retirement... and then he will request the judge that you pay him that "half now". he's looking to claim half of your retirement - based on what the value will be when YOU retire. he's going to screw you. to be blunt! stop talking to him. and certainly don't give him any information. let your attorney deal with him - that's what you are paying for.
carhill Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I can't speak to your jurisdiction but here in Cali all that stuff comes out in court or in mediation. We were required, under penalty of law, to list all our joint and separate assets and debts. Retirement accounts were amongst them. You don't have to cooperate and your lawyer is your best source of legal advice but I would highly recommend, if a judge requests such information, that you provide it. Summary judgments can be, well, painful. What he is up to, and you should be as well, is negotiating a fair and equitable settlement for the length and breadth of your M. That starts with having clear and definable information. In our case, my exW and I agreed that we each retain our retirement accounts. This was included in our settlement. IMO, your H is being foolish going pro se in a contested matter. That's points for you. If your lawyer is competent, you'll come out fine.
Steen719 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Also, my brother said in his state (Ks), he had to do this and they took what his retirement would be until the average age of death for a man and used that as a figure. It was quite significant. I mean, think if you made $20,000 a year in retirement, retired at age 60 and was expected to live to 82, your retirement could be considered $440,000. At least, that is how they considered his "cash value". He gave XW some money and paid a down payment on a duplex for her and she did not get his 1/2 of his retirement. He said he would had to have worked until he died if she had gotten that.
pureinheart Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 My husband and I have agreed on an amicable split after I filed with a high powered attorney because my husband was giving me many threats not to split our assets equally. He is afraid of my attorney and he is trying to avoid expensive lawyer fees, so my husband has said he will write up a fair and customary agreeement. My husband is a certified divorce finanancial planner. I am a teacher and he has asked me to call up my teacher's retirement system and ask them for an estimate of my monthly benefits and what that would like like when I reach full retirement. I am 42 now. When I called the representative told me not to give that information because "it would hurt me". She said she would send a current "divorce estimate". I'm not sure what my husband is after. I would like to believe he is just helping me plan for my future but hmmmm.... Any thoughts?? Please tell him to kiss my *** for me:) please. All of the above are true (the advice). My first thought was, how cruel to screw with a teacher! All the mess teachers are facing...ooooooo. I am not sure who initiated the divorce, although he sounds very selfish to me, the "out for me, myself and I" type. I would cut off all further communication with him. Him being a "divorce" financial planner makes it even better for you, because he knows what can go down. Based on what you said, you both have careers, so I would say both retirements should be off limits in the settlement...ESPECIALLY YOURS...good luck gf, don't trust him.
Josephina Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I don't really understand all the advice given...sorry, I really am ignorant on this subject. Does it have to do with where you live? My X and I are separating, and have been together for our entire adult lives. He has a pension, and I just started mine last month. He was able to work and gain a pension while I stayed at home & raised children. I'm not going after spousal support, but him & I both agree that I'm entitled to half of that pension to date. Because we live in Canada, the amount actually contributed into the pension is adjusted for on the income taxes via a Pension Adjustment (PA), so the amount is highly traceable. I'm willing to forget about the accumulation due to time, so long as he is willing to pay me out half. My situation is the opposite of the OPs, and I'm not meaning to highjack, but I just don't understand the advice given. Why wouldn't I be entitled to half of everything we have accumulated together, as well as half the debt? We started out so young that we literally had nothing at the onset, and there have certainly been periods where I was the higher income earner, just with no pension.
country_gurl Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I don't really understand all the advice given...sorry, I really am ignorant on this subject. Does it have to do with where you live? My X and I are separating, and have been together for our entire adult lives. He has a pension, and I just started mine last month. He was able to work and gain a pension while I stayed at home & raised children. I'm not going after spousal support, but him & I both agree that I'm entitled to half of that pension to date. Because we live in Canada, the amount actually contributed into the pension is adjusted for on the income taxes via a Pension Adjustment (PA), so the amount is highly traceable. I'm willing to forget about the accumulation due to time, so long as he is willing to pay me out half. My situation is the opposite of the OPs, and I'm not meaning to highjack, but I just don't understand the advice given. Why wouldn't I be entitled to half of everything we have accumulated together, as well as half the debt? We started out so young that we literally had nothing at the onset, and there have certainly been periods where I was the higher income earner, just with no pension. I'm in Canada and many years ago when I separated from my then-husband, our agreement stipulated that we would each retain our individual pensions and we both agreed to this, so this IS something that will be a factor in your separation agreement. I would imagine that you'll be doing this with a lawyer and your lawyer (and his) would need to exchange documents re: your individual and joint assets and debts and the agreement that you'd both have to sign off on would be fair. Best to talk to a lawyer about this if you haven't yet. Or Google "legal separation pension Canada" and see what you find. Most divorce lawyers will provide a free 30 minute consultation, often by phone. Give some a call. Best to get advice from an expert who's familiar with things here in Canada. And yes, things can definitely vary from U.S. to Canada....perhaps even province to province. The info posted in this thread may apply only to the U.S., as I suspect.
stillafool Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 If you filed with a high power attorney, why isn't he looking after your assets? Call him and forward your H's request to him. Tell you r H that your attorney will be corresponding with him about any of his requests and that your attorney told you this was the best way to handle it. Exactly! It seems your attorney would be a better one to answer that question than anyone here.
Author sher871 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 The reason I have not asked my attorney is because my husband and I are trying to reduce the amount of legal fees. He is definitley afraid of my attorney and has begged me to drop him; however, I have not. Sooo, my husband said he would write up an agreeement and present it to my attorney. My husband, by the way, has hired his own attorney.
Steen719 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 The money you save by not asking your attorney is nothing in comparison to what your H could end up getting from you. I don't understand...why get an attorney if you don't use him? You are asking for trouble here. You trust him and while you do not explain the circumstances of your divorce, I cannot believe that he is trying to look out for your best interests. Ask yourself this: why is he so afraid of your attorney? Sure, he is "high powered", but the law is the law. You really need to protect yourself. Don't be fooled.
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