mike588 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) Hello again. Most of the people here seem to be young enough to where this question may not apply, in my suitation my ex and I are 45 yrs. old. You all know my story and how my ex g/f dumped me to be with her ex. I had left this part out somewhat due to embarrasment and realized what a fool I was. 2 months before dumping me she told me she wanted to have cosmetic surgery,, upper and lower eyes done. She is/was a very attractive woman and I did'nt see any need for it but I supported her 110%. So I took her to the Dr. waited there,, then went into the recovery room and held her hand and comforted her. Then I spent a week with her changing bandadges, putting ice on the swelling, took care of the house and so on. 2 weeks after the surgery when she was scar/bruise free and had healed she dumps me. You talk about being used and betrayed!!! That's another reason this has hurt me so bad and I hope she never ever forgets what I did for her and carrys guilt with her everytime she looks in the mirror! Sorry, I did'nt mean to ramble but I had to get it out!!!! Back to the original question : Anyone dumped after your love had cosmetic surgery?? Edited September 24, 2011 by mike588
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Are we not supposed to wonder just whyyyyyyyyyyyy she opted for surgery?? As is the case most of the time, it isn't the surgery itself, but rather the choice she made which should have you on high alert.
wilsonx Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 mike mike mike.... do you see the red flag here if so point it out
january2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 No, but I think it's a common theme in breakups and divorces where one partner invests in the other and then gets dumped once that partner reaches a stage where they can live off the fruits of that investment. For example, women who become homemakers and mom to a brood of kids, spending years supporting their career-ladder climbing husbands before getting dumped for a younger model once he becomes very successful.
M2155 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 No, but I think it's a common theme in breakups and divorces where one partner invests in the other and then gets dumped once that partner reaches a stage where they can live off the fruits of that investment. I don't think my ex returning to his ex had anything to do with this type of investment, but I certainly put in days and days of free professional services to help him build his real estate business. Ironically when I was dropped, things turned around for him. I think it's a bit of coincidence because they were already swapping ILYs all over the web before he picked up the new client, but it made me feel a bit used. Did she decide plastic surgery on a whim? I could see getting a cosmetic surgery while I'm content relationshipwise because it's something she should be doing for herself, not a partner. But yes, this timing does sound suspicious. I'd certainly take up a new hairdo or something if I were meeting my ex. Sorry dude, yes she knew you would be a good guy and help her out. Who knows how long she had been lining things up for the ex. He probably didn't even notice though:laugh:
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 I certainly understand why you are feeling used, and your kindness and support to her during her recovery probably makes the hurt of her bailing on you even worse. It sounds to me like she is manifesting all kinds of "midlife crisis" symptoms. That is not an excuse - just an explanation. She wants to feel attractive, to be wanted by somebody who is not her tried & true husband (you). I wouldn't be surprised if she gets a large dose of reality someday in the not too distant future and comes hoping to get you back. I hope if that day does come, you have moved on and would not consider being with a person who is not trustworthy and can't handle the emotional, hormonal and other aspects of time. And don't feel embarrassed or in any way worse than you already do about helping her through her surgery. That's what we are supposed to do for our spouses, or for those we care for. You didn't do anything stupid. She did.
Author mike588 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 Thanks, I needed that. I too hope she realizes one day what she did and the pain she put me thru.
tehsensitive1 Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 Believe it or not she'll forever think about you.. May not be every day, it may not be monthly but in the end whens she's out drinking or getting ready for a date at night and is doing her makeup she'll know... Sorry about the situation but the guilt will be in the back of her mind forever
immitable Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 maybe the guilt will be on the back of her mind at the moment, but all I can say is karma is a bitch in her case. the old saying says ( it is actually from "carmina burana" but so true) "O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, always waxing or waning; hateful life first oppresses and then soothes as fancy takes it; poverty and power it melts them like ice"
immitable Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 just wanted to add, did you ask yourself where did you go wrong in not meeting her needs before the surgery?
Author mike588 Posted September 25, 2011 Author Posted September 25, 2011 just wanted to add, did you ask yourself where did you go wrong in not meeting her needs before the surgery? I was there for her all the way and she would tell you or anyone that! I did so much for her without being a door mat and I know she appreciated it but her heart was else where. She broke up with her ex a month before we dated cause HE wasn't meeting her needs I was told. She told me MANY times that I made her feel special, appreciated,loved, cherished, the sex was great,, not just on my side. I put her pleasure 1st, then me. etc. and he did'nt. Never cheated,no verbal or physical abuse either.
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