TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Hey guys, I'm having a really rough day today and my gut is telling me to call my ex but my head is screaming at me not to do it. I know she'd take my call because she considers us friends, but I don't want to be her friend!!! Feeling really depressed so any words of encouragement would mean a lot
maylis Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I don't think you should call her, you said you do not want to be her friend so it will only set you back I am sure! Call another friend, go out with some friends to stay busy! Write your feelings out perhaps.
mike588 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I had the same feelings and wanted to soooo bad but did'nt, Looking back on it I'm glad I did'nt. Don't do it, it will only set you back.
ken_25 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 We've all felt like that before and that feeling will pass. Get out if you can, go to the beach, hang out with a friend or family member, do something for yourself, whatever it takes to get through. It's not worth it to call, it will pass.
Author TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Thanks guys, just really started panicking and I'm sure you all know what that feels like. Started to calm down a bit here so thank god. I did write my feelings down and that seemed to clarify things a bit. Hopefully that's the last bit of anxiety for today at least
sleepykitten Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Run through it in your head-you call her, she picks up, is friendly, general chit chat etc-you are feeling sad so really you want her to make you feel better so you ask her some questions like "do you miss me" " how do you feel....what do you think..." stuff like that because ultimatley you want her to give you all these answers. Chances are she wont, you will feel worse, even if you dont ask her those questions it wont make you feel any better. I know, i too have been there, no longer want to call him now as i see his true colours, but its still tough, the hurt he caused still lingers on. Whenever i have any kind of fb stalking urge i come on here, always helps. weekends are the toughest, what you got planned?
Author TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Hey Sleepykitten, Thanks for the advice. When someone writes it down logically like that it really helps, and you're right! Right now I have a bit of power back in my life because I cut contact when she didn't want it, but if I gave in not only would I not get the answers I want, I would feel worse and I would lose my power and self respect!!! I'm just back from football and think that is where I started feeling bad. One of the lads is moving in with his fiancee in two weeks and they seem so happy. I can't believe that was me just ten months ago, new house with my fiancee, it was a dream... but now that's gone! Anyway I'm going out for a drink tonight with my friends. Have been avoiding anything like this for weeks now and think it'll be better than sitting here wondering what my ex is doing. How do you get through the weekends?
sleepykitten Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Thats great youre going out and that you havent contacted her, each day you dont makes you feel a bit stronger, its up and down I know but ultimatley you would feel much worse if you caved in!! Weekends...! Well they used to be awful, sundays still have that lingering cloud of depression over them especially if i have been out and come back sunday eve to rthis flat which i hate anyway. Usually I have been going out on a friday night with work friends or up untill recently a guy i met, but i think it was a rebound fling really as i couldnt see it going anywhere and i still felt the same when i was with him, proving to myself that I really do need to just ride through this and put the work in on my own!! so, I go shopping, to a class, do lots of reading, have films, comedys etc in reserve, come on here-alot! Have been reading the secret which really helped me out as made me feel positive for the first time in a long time, and it seems to be working too! I have planned a few things in the coming weeks so i have stuff in my diary to look forward to, a weekend with a girlfriend of mine who always makes me laugh, a night out at a cool cocktail bar, a trip to new york in nov, and i am moving too so have lots of sorting out to do...which i havent yet started. I used to just sit in cry and smoke and couldnt eat or think about anything else, thank fully those days are behind me but i wont ever forget them, they give me the will power to carry on nc, if i dont i would be right back to square 1. Hope you have a good night tonight, keep us posted on how youre doing x
Author TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Cheers Sleepykitten, you're a wee gem! Hope you have a good night
Mack05 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Therapy Dovic..U need more then this amazing site. Why would want to call someone who has pissed all over you? and continues to piss all over you? You need therapy..
Lucio Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Go to the chat room. It worked for me. I just hope someone's there when u log in.
Author TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Therapy Dovic..U need more then this amazing site. Why would want to call someone who has pissed all over you? and continues to piss all over you? You need therapy.. Going to it every Monday dude!!! And I didn't call, just had a weak moment
Mack05 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Going to it every Monday dude!!! And I didn't call, just had a weak moment Change Therapists then...he/she not doing a good job
Author TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Change Therapists then...he/she not doing a good job Only had two sessions... Hopefully by the end I'll be in a better place
MoreRedemption Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I agree with what has been said so far on this thread. If you don't want to be her friend, don't contact her. If you do, you will only be prolonging the pain! I find writing down my feelings very therapeutic!
Marianis Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 hahaha.. dont call .. look how i am now!! so ill go to the movies and get distracted... hahahah its good you will go out with your friends and maybe its better if you tell them to keep your phone hahaha.. that way you have no temptations!!
Author TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 hahaha.. dont call .. look how i am now!! so ill go to the movies and get distracted... hahahah its good you will go out with your friends and maybe its better if you tell them to keep your phone hahaha.. that way you have no temptations!! Ha, I love that we can laugh at it, sure if we didn't we'd probably cry ! And I might leave my phone in the house just in case I get too drunk and do something silly lol
M2155 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Feeling really depressed so any words of encouragement would mean a lot Glad you didn't call I don't call because I'd just get some friend response I don't want. But mainly I don't want to disappoint you folks on the LS board who would say they tried to tell me:laugh:
Author TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Me too. Think Mack would've flown to Ireland and strangled me if I'd done so!
Marianis Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Ha, I love that we can laugh at it, sure if we didn't we'd probably cry ! And I might leave my phone in the house just in case I get too drunk and do something silly lol crying is getting old.. no more tears!!.. and yeahhh.. leaving your phone in your house its a good idea.. ill do the same haha
Author TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 TO MARIANIS Ha, I'll make a pact with you now then... Both of us leave our phones in the house tonight so we don't do anything silly! Actually, I'll play a wee game with you to see who's stronger. We'll see who can go without contacting there ex for the longest, and there's no way either of us can cheat cos neither of us can resist posting on this site
betterdeal Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Glad to see you got over your brain fart, pal! I notice you had it after exercise. I often get sentimental the day after yoga (today, for example). Something to do with the neurotransmitters released or the fact we take a break from our thinking world and go into our being world? Maybe. The thing is, being sentimental is good; it's just better to savour it for yourself rather than try and undo the things that hurt you to begin with. What's done is done. Accept the pain is there, but it's getting less, isn't it? A good friend once described it as the maudlin clouds passing over the sun. Like all clouds, these too shall pass. Peace.
Author TheDovic Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Glad to see you got over your brain fart, pal! I notice you had it after exercise. I often get sentimental the day after yoga (today, for example). Something to do with the neurotransmitters released or the fact we take a break from our thinking world and go into our being world? Maybe. The thing is, being sentimental is good; it's just better to savour it for yourself rather than try and undo the things that hurt you to begin with. What's done is done. Accept the pain is there, but it's getting less, isn't it? A good friend once described it as the maudlin clouds passing over the sun. Like all clouds, these too shall pass. Peace. Cheers Betterdeal, That makes a lot of sense, I've often noticed my feelings starting to get more intense when I play football, but it's important to me so I'm going to stick at it. I'll be more prepared next time though as I'll know what to expect. Plus I'll know it's only a "maudlin cloud" lol. Thanks
Kageytn Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Ah, dovic, I called my ex. Then, I saw him and made future plans to see him. I also text him drunk and said I hated him. In vino veritas. And spent all day crying yesterday and puking. It's a new day. I took a huge step back. Its the absolute lowest I've been with my break up. I wish I had worked it out like you. I have a plan now for when I'm tempted.
Marianis Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 TO MARIANIS Ha, I'll make a pact with you now then... Both of us leave our phones in the house tonight so we don't do anything silly! Actually, I'll play a wee game with you to see who's stronger. We'll see who can go without contacting there ex for the longest, and there's no way either of us can cheat cos neither of us can resist posting on this site hahahaha ok! .. PACT DONE!! .. wow .. tonight i have a party too .. and i can not leave my phone in my house... because i have to call my paretns.. haha but i will tell my friends to take it and not give it to me.. haha yeah! they are good at that haha .. and yes we will see .. this is exiting actually .. now i have a reason not to contact him! hahaha eha... but at the same time ... i will fight against me not to tell him anything........... uffffffffffffffffffffffffffff have fun at your party!!
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