SugarLily Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Just to clarify, I have no intention/desire to date ANYONE for a LONG, LONG time. I'm completely aware that I need to take this exprience and positively process as much of it as I can into working on myself and my future. BUT, I was just wondering . . . As a 21 year old female, what kind of age range should I be looking to date in the future? Basically - when (in your opinion) are men at the stage where they can commit to a relationship and fulful their role as a boyfriend effectively? After reading the whole 'G.I.G.S' thread, I would be reluctant to date anyone under 25! Thank you for your help! x x x
carhill Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Most young men on this forum appear to have a similar opinion of women in your age group, so I guess you all have something in common IMO, it's impossible to generalize. I know some men who became husbands at 17-18 and are still married 30+ years later. Others who've never married. Others who were 'crazy' in their 20's and 'settled down'. Same with women. The relevant aspect of this is knowing yourself. What you want and how you approach relationships. Then, look for synergy in another. Only way to find out is to try. Sure there's some risk but there's also fun along the way and a great reward if you find a healthy companion and partner. By the time I was 25, I was largely self-employed (I worked a regular job and moonlighted building my business), owned my own home and had a full life with my parents and friends. I would remain single for the better part of the next 10 years, not because I didn't desire a relationship but rather because my brand of 'man' wasn't attractive to the general population of women in my area at that time. Like I said, it's hard to generalize. Each of us are individuals. Good luck.
Author SugarLily Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Thanks for your reply ! You've made some really interesting points. I guess it largely does depend on the individual - but I am still definitely aiming for 'older' in the future. Not like Hugh Hefner old - just old enough to be ready to commit! Although I am only 21 - I don't think i'll be ready to 'settle down' for a long time! I guess I just miss being 'in a relationship'. x
Mack05 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) I love (genuinely) so many people on this site..But Sugar...I have decided to stop giving advice to certain posters, because it is absolutely pointless..Sugar, I think so highly of peope like you, Dovic, Buttercup, Kitten, Headsashed etc etc etc but its pointless giving good advice....You refuse to listen to people that have "been there done that"...Everyone thinks they are different (that u are the special one's), but they are not. For me, its pointless putting my heart and soul into helping people if it makes absolutely no difference whatsover..Same obsessing, same pointless (repeating) threads.. Why oh why dont u want to help yourselves.................. I wish u guys well (u have no idea). I love u guys, but I cant do this anymore. I can only help people that actually want to be helped..Right now u, dovic, buttercup, headsashed etc etc...U actually dont want to be helped. U get advise from people, that have been through the same of not so much worse..U accept to confront the reality. U can't get past the denial.. I had people like Geegirl, Downtown, Pelican pete, Sunmoon, Homebrew etc etc help me when I was in the pits. Guess what I did after awhile? I absorbed what these people were telling me..The longer u ignore, the longer u stay in unneccassary pain and stop asking the most stupid obvious questions...U didnt ask the question above for u. U were far more curious about your worthless ex.. Edited September 24, 2011 by Mack05
Author SugarLily Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Okay Mack, no worries. Thank you for all the advice you have offered me prior to this - I do genuinely appreciate it. Take Care x
futuregopher Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Just to clarify, I have no intention/desire to date ANYONE for a LONG, LONG time. I'm completely aware that I need to take this exprience and positively process as much of it as I can into working on myself and my future. BUT, I was just wondering . . . As a 21 year old female, what kind of age range should I be looking to date in the future? Basically - when (in your opinion) are men at the stage where they can commit to a relationship and fulful their role as a boyfriend effectively? After reading the whole 'G.I.G.S' thread, I would be reluctant to date anyone under 25! Thank you for your help! x x x I'm a 21 year old guy (turning 22 in a month) and I'm not scared of commitment or settling down. I thought that my ex of 2 years before we broke up 1.5 months ago was honestly going to be it for me. I had everything I wanted - a job offer before my senior year of college, friends, and companionship from a significant other. It doesn't take much to make me happy and I don't find satisfaction in going to bars to hit on women. I wanted to marry this girl in a few years after I had advanced in my career to have enough income but she broke up with me. My point is this - I don't think it's really about age. It just depends on the person and what that person values.
Mack05 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 One day sugar, when u look back over this u will understand...best of luck
WTRanger Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Just to clarify, I have no intention/desire to date ANYONE for a LONG, LONG time. I'm completely aware that I need to take this exprience and positively process as much of it as I can into working on myself and my future. BUT, I was just wondering . . . As a 21 year old female, what kind of age range should I be looking to date in the future? Basically - when (in your opinion) are men at the stage where they can commit to a relationship and fulful their role as a boyfriend effectively? After reading the whole 'G.I.G.S' thread, I would be reluctant to date anyone under 25! Thank you for your help! x x x And any guy who has read the same GIGS thread will be reluctant to date any girl under 30. So since you are only 21, I guess we're at an impasse aren't we? Why are you so concerned about when men are ready to date when you yourself aren't even close to being ready? How about you figure your own life out first? There's no such thing as a human after "x" age doesn't fear commitment. Sure, after "x" age humans start to panic about not dying along or not having children, but that's desperation.
k100danny Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I dont think there is a right time or age to be in a relationship and i dont beleive age comes into it within reason, obviously people who are really young under 21 being with people who are older could cause problems but i read a book called "ATTACHED" This book opened my eyes so much, it makes you look at your attachment style wich is a proven psychological theory and shows you why some people get on and some dont. It basically teaches you why some relationships dont work and why some do, helps you out if you are in a relationship and even if youre not it helps you find out what kind of person is good for you. relationships come down to one real thing and that is each persons needs, you need to get what you need from the relationship and so does the other person. everyone has needs and things they expect from a relationship and although this book doesnt tell you every detail of every person as people do vary in attachment styles and may have things from each one but it certainly made me think OOOOHHHH SO THATS WHY I DO THAT. I would recommend reading this book to anyone who has concerns about a relationship or is looking for one.
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