lovesucksiknow Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 My story is a bit long so stick with me. I first met my ex when we were in high school i was a senior she was a freshmen we got to be friends and nothing more after i graduated we didn't talk didn't keep in contact to be honest i just about forgot about her till one night several years later when she was a senior we got to talking and realized we had alot in common we started dating a few months later. We got to know one another very well we dated for over 2 1/2 years with only a few small stupid fights that we worked out in no time we were very much in love. We always had good communication we could talk about anything with no problem no matter what it was. We also had a clear idea about where we stood in the relationship after a year of being with her i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. it may sound corny but she was everything to me my lover and my best friend i couldn't picture life without her and she told me the same. Witch brings me to last week our last date seemed as happy and care free as normal and we had made plans to meet in a few days the next two days she seemed distant wouldn't respond to my texts as quickly or answer my calls i was worried if she was alright on the day we planned to meet i txted her and asked if we were still hanging out tonight she responds i think we should talk. I met her and she got right to it she said that she had to break up with me that she had been thinking the past couple days and that she can't take it anymore that she feels that our relationship had become routine and that it couldn't be fixed by going different places. She said she still loves me and is comfortable with me and that's what makes it so hard. I asked if there was someone else to witch she replied no and that she is going to be single for awhile and that scares her. I will admit i openly cried in front of her and tried convincing her we could work on things make them better but in the end she didn't hear it. I haven't spoke to her since (7 days) feeling NC is the best hope to get her back but its killing me should i break NC and try and reason with her i can't imagine after everything we've been through that she doesnt even want to attempt to work things out. I need advice.
Dark Phoenix Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 stick with NC. If you contact her you stand a very high chance of coming off as needy/desperate. By not contacting her you will give yourself the image of respect and independence. Use this time to work on yourself. Pick up new or old hobbies, go to the gym, focus on your career/studies. Go out into the world and meet new people.
silly_panda Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 You can't reason with a girl that had decided to break up with you... It will never work no matter what you say to her... Not to make you sad or what... Most of the time, there is already another guy in the picture... Do the things that Dark Phoenix mentioned...
Author lovesucksiknow Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 The longer i go without talking to her the farther away she seems to become. I have defriended her on Facebook so i truly have no way to know how she is feeling about all this. I have tried taking my mind off her hanging out with friends and swimming till i can hardly move just can't get her out of my head. How long should i attempt NC and if and when i get in contact what should i say? i want her back?
geegirl Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 The longer i go without talking to her the farther away she seems to become. I have defriended her on Facebook so i truly have no way to know how she is feeling about all this. I have tried taking my mind off her hanging out with friends and swimming till i can hardly move just can't get her out of my head. How long should i attempt NC and if and when i get in contact what should i say? i want her back? That's the thing. If the longer you go without talking to her, the further she falls back, what does that mean to you. Think rationally. Means she does not want to be pulled back. A person who wants to be with you, gets closer. You can't want someone back that does not want to be wanted back. I know you are hurting but what alternative to do you have? NC is not a game to get her back. It's to be used because you want to heal, emotionally detach and move on. You haven't accepted the reality of this. In any case, at least keep your distance and do not pursue or engage with her.
Author lovesucksiknow Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Even if she doesnt want me back for a romantic relationship the fact remains she is still my best friend that's why it's so hard to let go. That and i know her better than anyone else she was always prone to making big decisions really quickly and later regretting it. I just want to be sure Im not one of her quick decisions
geegirl Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 You may be best friends but one with an emotional attachment. If your best friend came and told you she met a great guy last night and wants to date him, you'd feel happy for her. So, if she came to you today and said that to you, how would you feel? You don't have to answer. You can rekindle your friendship when you are not emotional and indifferent to her and see her as a true friend, not one that you are still in love with. Being best friends is great, but being best friends at the expense of being hurt, is another thing. It's her decision. Stop trying to think for her. If she realizes she made a mistake, she will come back to you with regret and remorse begging to come back. If not, she is sticking by HER decision. You can't be sure if she's made a wrong move until SHE realizes she has made a wrong move.
Author lovesucksiknow Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 I can't give up on us just 2 days b4 she broke up with me we were in a fun loving relationship there was no growing apart how can things tank that fast and what dose routine even mean and why is that a reason to end things without talking about it first
geegirl Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 What are you seeking from this board Lovesucks? No matter what we tell you, you are adamant to do what you feel you need to do and what you believe is right. We are looking from the outside and giving you a rational, non-emotional response. What you are doing is reacting based on your emotions. No matter what we tell you, you will want to view it and react to it your way. What are you hoping to gain from posting? Tell us and maybe we can help you better.
silly_panda Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I can't give up on us just 2 days b4 she broke up with me we were in a fun loving relationship there was no growing apart how can things tank that fast and what dose routine even mean and why is that a reason to end things without talking about it first Routine for some people just mean repitative which = boring... Your ex saying that mostly because she don't feel any excitement in your relationship anymore... It's a very common reason/excuse for girls in leaving the relationship and looking for 'excitement' in another guy...
Lucio Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Hey lovesucksiknow, I'm like u, 2.5 yr r.s. n 7 days since my break. The morning of my break she was still texting me what's for lunch. I spent half of the week in tears n daze, the other half keeping to myself while I try to control my emotions. Din bother abt my facebook status. Hell, I din even bother abt the stock market. It's not a deliberate NC, but I don't want to say something stupid by texting her now. I just spent time on myself, with myself, for myself, while I tried to figure out what went wrong. It's a draining process n I sleep a lot or take a beer. I can't tell u if u should do NC or how long it needs to be or the ans to any of ur qn.. I can only tell u, u prob want to find the answer within urself.
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