Homing Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 whenever a girl compliments me i can't seem to accept it. for example, lets say she compliments my clothes or hair, i think to myself she is just not being honest. so usually i just ignore these compliments and continue the conversation as is. is there something wrong with me? how can i better handle it when this comes up again?
carhill Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Just say 'thank you' and smile. Imagine you're a movie star on the red carpet. Practice it in front of the mirror. Practice makes for ease of acceptance.
Author Homing Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 i have no problems taking the compliment, just having issues whether i believe she is lying or not, i don't like it when people lie to my face.
carhill Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Examine whether you could be harmed by believing the compliment to be truth. Separate compliment from person. It's possible that the compliment is healthy and the person is healthy; also possible that the compliment is healthy and the person unhealthy. Example of the latter: Someone complimenting you because they want something from you, like money or sex or emotional validation. They 'butter you up'. If you separate compliment from person, there's no issue. Other aspects of their behavior indicate their truth. Tell me about a compliment you received that you didn't feel was a lie.
Pierre Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 i have no problems taking the compliment, just having issues whether i believe she is lying or not, i don't like it when people lie to my face. Sometimes humble folks that do not need external validation become uncomfortable with compliments.
carhill Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Yes, and a good female friend commented to me one time that I have a hard time taking compliments. Generally, I say 'thank you' and move on, like the moment hadn't occurred. I don't bask in the 'glow' and evidently that is noticeable.
FitChick Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 The answer is right there in the headline "what is wrong with me?" The OP believes there is something wrong with him which would logically explain his not believing compliments. He essentially believes people are calling him a liar because he 'knows' it isn't true. Someone who believes they are worthy, lovable, good enough would smile and say, "Thank you!" with no discomfort at all because they'd believe the compliment. See the difference? It's a common pattern that can easily be fixed with The Lefkoe Method. I used to believe similar myself -- I would even get angry when people complimented me, thinking what sort of fool did they take me for? -- until I eliminated so many core beliefs using TLM that it totally changed my personality and life for the better. To see how it works (though for another pattern) watch this on . The client not only transformed himself emotionally but later on physically as you can see in his other videos in the right hand menu. Miracles do happen!
gaius Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I was fat and undesirable as a kid and the only time I would get compliments from women was as a preface to them trying to scam something out of me. Even though things changed a long time ago I still get that same bad feeling you are whenever I get compliments, like they are being disingenuous. So you're not the only one.
Author Homing Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 i have been told i am modest, does that have anything to do with it?
carhill Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Modesty can be a factor, as can humility. If you're 'modest', generally you prefer to avoid attention being drawn to or focused on yourself. A compliment is positive attention. Some people enjoy and seek being the life of the party. You enjoy the party.
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