Country_Girl Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Just curious if anyone has had any luck, and if so, what sites they have used that led to a success. I'm on 2 right now, that I signed up for last night. I'm not shallow at all, but there has to be some level of attraction. So far there's only one guy I would consider going out with- but I still haven't messaged him back yet. Reason being, 2 of his pics he looks really attractive in, and the other 2, just not a look I am interested in or feel like I could bring around my family (colored mohawk). All the other responses have been scetchy, I had just signed up and apparently got a message from some guy- hadn't even went to my inbox yet. Well there were 2 messages, first one said "hi"- that's it. Then he apparently messages back saying "guess your not interested". With that attitude, I was not going to reply after that- so he sends back today "sorry to bother you but can you tell me why you're not interested?" Some of these people look like they've spent time in prison lol. Should I just forget it all together or has anyone found a decent guy on the web?
IrishCarBomb Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Everyone on the internet is a weirdo. Oh crap... I'm on the internet right now! Does that mean I'm a weirdo too?!?!? Whoa... I need to do some serious life-evaluation.
oaks Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I'm on 2 right now, that I signed up for last night. I'm not shallow at all, but there has to be some level of attraction. So far there's only one guy I would consider going out with- but I still haven't messaged him back yet. Reason being, 2 of his pics he looks really attractive in, and the other 2, just not a look I am interested in or feel like I could bring around my family (colored mohawk). I usually go by the rule of thumb that people on online dating sites look like their worst photo and all the others were just lucky. All the other responses have been scetchy, I had just signed up and apparently got a message from some guy- hadn't even went to my inbox yet. Well there were 2 messages, first one said "hi"- that's it. Then he apparently messages back saying "guess your not interested". With that attitude, I was not going to reply after that- so he sends back today "sorry to bother you but can you tell me why you're not interested?" Sadly, you'll get a lot of that, and worse. If you've got some good photos and also a well-written profile you should also get some higher calibre guys contacting you before too long.
Cypress25 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 I've met decent guys on dating sites. I've also gotten messages from a lot of creeps, but I ignore those. I've had 2 long-term relationships with guys I met on dating sites. And I only use the free sites. A lot of the same people are on the free sites as the paid sites, so it makes no difference. I also know that quite a few of my guy friends are on dating sites, and they're great guys. Millions of people do online dating, of course they're not all weirdos. You just have to use good judgment.
Author Country_Girl Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 So I tried another site (POF) since the other 2 sites were a bust, and I'm actually getting decent responses on it suprisingly. Hmmm, maybe I will give all the sites another week and see what happens, but so far I am getting some "normal" people lol. I've never online dated before, when is it acceptable or a good rule of thumb to give out contact info?
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Both. It's a bunch of weirdos, and also, I had some luck (met my now husband). Had to go through the weirdo gauntlet, though. I understand it's the same for guys.
Cypress25 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I've never online dated before, when is it acceptable or a good rule of thumb to give out contact info? I would say after you meet for the first time, if you want to see each other again. I've had guys on dating sites ask for my phone number or my FB, but I tell them I don't give my contact info to people I've never met. There are a lot of guys who sound great in emails, but when you meet in person, you realize it's just not a good match and you don't want to pursue things. Imagine if all those guys had your phone number.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I've never dated anyone I met through the Internet (yet). I haven't tried though. I don't have a "dating profile" on any of the sites people mention here. But a long time ago, pre-Internet, I used print media personals. I dated a few times but they were a bust. To me, it's pretty amazing how lonely life is when there are so many people. It's hard to find just one who is interested--unless of course you look fabulous and have a means to be seen a lot. I have periods of fabulousness but also periods of tubbiness and resignation to solitude. Right now, I met someone on-line who I can't shed my tubbiness fast enough to go meet. But it will happen. She's an absolute joy.
NoReallyThatHappened Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I've tried internet dating twice. The first time it led to a long term relationship. This time I'm getting married!! Just be prepared for a LOT of first dates. People on dating sites are no different than in real life. You have to wade through the bad to get to the good.
Author Country_Girl Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 Well I have one date set for monday, another (2) is to be determined. Monday's date seems nice, he's in the military, seems like a stand up guy. Only thing that makes me weary is he's younger than me (I'm 29, he's 24). The last time I dated someone younger it didn't end so well lol. But I figure I'll give it a shot, he seems normal, maybe even a little shy. I still can't believe I'm doing this! It's scarey but exciting at the same time. I also have another potential date, I seemed to click with him the most in our conversation- but he wasn't exactley what I was going for looks wise. But I think I still should give it a chance, something is telling me to. The other potential seems nice, into the same stuff I am, and soooo good looking. So, all in all, 1 set date and 2 potentials. I've never serial dated before, but I figured I should pick 3 and explore them, because even if I feel chemistry, they might not- and vice versa.
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I usually go by the rule of thumb that people on online dating sites look like their worst photo and all the others were just lucky. My most successful picture online was just me with an izod on and a brown paper bag over my head.... It was perfect..I did have plenty of good pictures inside my profile though. My profile was humorous, The picture pulled them in and the profile closed the deal. It wasn't the one I was using though when I met my wife... that one was humorous and full of pictures. For what it's worth I met my wife on match.. My life has changed significantly because of OLD.. We also have a 3.5 year old little boy who wouldn't be here if it wasn't for match.
Author Country_Girl Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 My most successful picture online was just me with an izod on and a brown paper bag over my head.... It was perfect..I did have plenty of good pictures inside my profile though. My profile was humorous, The picture pulled them in and the profile closed the deal. It wasn't the one I was using though when I met my wife... that one was humorous and full of pictures. For what it's worth I met my wife on match.. My life has changed significantly because of OLD.. We also have a 3.5 year old little boy who wouldn't be here if it wasn't for match. Yeah, funny wins in my book. Unfortunatley, yesterday I read the funniest profile in my life- it was long too, took me 10 minutes to read it. The guy didn't respond back yet, so I'm thinking it's a no go...but heck, I'd just like to be friends with the guy if nothing else, I was laughing in tears at some of the stuff he said.
carhill Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I am a bit embarrassed to say this, but online dating has provided some of the most stable potentials I've met, regarding real life potentials for friends or romance. As a qualifier, most of that occurred long before online dating was the phenomena which exists now. Three of my four LTR's came from OLD, as did my M. Women who did OLD back then tended to be some of the brightest and progressive thinking I had met. The challenge now is finding countries/cultures where that dynamic still exists. Challenges are fun
AHardDaysNight Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 My experience is that all the girls, except the weirdos, go for the good looking types. If you're a male, and you're average looking, you're better off doing offline dating.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I think alot depends on where you live and the general quality and availability of people there. Where I currently live, it is a 'company' town. Somewhat small so not alot of choices. I'm in the process of moving to a bigger city... either here or in another country. However, will say that my style is NOT to go on tons and tons of dates. I'm pretty selective about whom I choose to meet. So have never been surprised on the some of the things people complain about here in terms of misrepresentation. Most of the ones I ultimately decided to meet with OLD had some kind of character flaw (addiction history, cheating, etc) or were rebounders of one kind or another. I MIGHT, MIGHT try it again after I move. Certainly not here though. FYI...None of my male friends found their wives online. They met at work or through other friends. As a result, I've decided to change my policy about dating co-workers. Still treading carefully on that one. In my prior 20 years as an engineer, I only considered dating one. I just met another about a month ago... but I sense he is worried about the work thing since he just started. I know for a fact he is attracted to me. Time will tell...
oaks Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I've never online dated before, when is it acceptable or a good rule of thumb to give out contact info? Details like a phone number? It's down to personal preference. Some people will insist on talking on the phone before deciding whether to meet someone, but some people won't give out phone numbers until on the first date (so, presumably not giving them out at all if the date doesn't go well). Do what you're comfortable with, but bear in mind that it might not be compatible with everybody else.
quietGuy13 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 My experience is that all the girls, except the weirdos, go for the good looking types. If you're a male, and you're average looking, you're better off doing offline dating. EXACTLY. Dating sites suck and it's mostly do to the girls fault
El Brujo Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 Internet dating is an oxymoron (like military intelligence, rock music, mandatory option, etc etc). It has been my experience that most of the women in online dating are flakes who don't really want to meet men, and the few who do look like fat teenage boys. But as bad as the women are, the men are even worse... I can show you third-graders who act more mature than some male online daters who are old enough to be their grandfathers. If you want to meet real singles online, you will need to join some meetup groups. But make sure to fill up your flask with Everclear first, because singles meetups without alcohol are non-starters.
HappyFlower Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I quite like dating sites - I've made a few friends on them (dates where there was not attraction), and one LTR (now ex lol). It takes quite a lot of patience to get decent guys tho. Some start off really well then disappear, some can only hold limited conversation, some are way way over my age limit, and some can only type the words 'hawt' and 'sxy' If you can't be bothered to type your message out properly, don't expect a reply. And then there's the weirdos...I do not understand why guys online will send you "hi", and then send multiple messages after asking why havent you answered, why dont you like me etc etc. Do you go up to a girl in a bar, and when shes not interested, follow her around anyway and pester her?
Casablanca Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 I've had some success...my last gf I met online, and current person I'm seeing, we met online as well..I've met some good ones online, though nothing came of it...my numbers in off line are better, but that is because I can usually build a rapport with someone who I have a mural connection to through either a club, school, work, friends, etc.
piggyoink Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 plentyoffish is quite popular where i am
Author Country_Girl Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 I have to say I have met mostly weirdos or "nice" guys that have often lied about their profile e.g. old photos and are very unnattractive in the flesh . To be honest, in English parlance, it pisses me off, because it is a waste of everybody's time, especially as I am a single parent so I have to make arrangements for babysitters, etc. I have become much more attuned to men trying to misrepresent their appearance (weird angle or fuzzy photos etc). There's a lot of truth to this...I was hired by my friend who does life coaching, for my photography skills. I took some photos of his client for an online dating profile. Let me just say, the guy was NOT a looker, at all. But with the right clothes, lighting, angles- I turned him into Ryan Phillipe. I didn't even photoshop them. He looked like a model in them, I kinda felt guilty for doing them, but heck, work is work and I was paid for it. My friend said that this guy never used to get hits on his profile at all, now he has 3 dates a week!
Author Country_Girl Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 And then there's the weirdos...I do not understand why guys online will send you "hi", and then send multiple messages after asking why havent you answered, why dont you like me etc etc. Do you go up to a girl in a bar, and when shes not interested, follow her around anyway and pester her? THIS, word for word. I have gotten so much of that. Lots of multiple messages if I don't reply in nano-seconds, some even the day after with a 3rd messege. If I send someone a messege and don't get a reply, I move on- I don't get butt hurt over it, I realize I'm just not their type. Some people take online rejection way too seriousley.
rocketman122 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 as one who has been on jdate for 4 months I can comment on what ive seen. I do look good. so its not only for visually challenged HAHA. im a 6' 205lbs bodybuilder. I have no children and dont care to have any. so I have no luggage and im available at any night. dont get me wrong. I love children and wouldnt mind finding a woman who has her own children. I would love them like they were mine. I was very hesitant and thought online dating is humiliating/embarrassing so it took me some time to get my profile going. I just dont have a chance to meet woman on a day to day basis and doing it in front of the computer and to have a large amount of women to choose from is very convenient. I can filter them according to interests, if they smoke, zodiac sign and other things. many of the woman there are players. I did get feedback that there isnt a great selection of men. many are liars. they dont look like theyre photos, although on the many dates I went on the woman are no better. IOTH have always got "you look exactly like youre picture" or "you look better" . I make it a priority to take photos that are clear and show exactly what I look like. I dont like to be disappointed when I meet some of these ladies that look nothing like theyre photos and so I know how the other side feels, so its important to me. It is addicting, but also frustrating at the same level. finding love is hard. its like a 2nd job. not all are looking for love. some take advantage of the situation for their self pleasure. many are simply looking for something specific. I do like the attention, but I guess thats my self esteem issue that needs it(childhood trauma). If it doesnt go well on a date then back to the site to keep searching. Ive been on many dates in the 4 months Ive been there and I usually end up saying "im sorry, but no, we are not compatible" and I keep looking. Because most of the woman want a convenient relationship and I dont want that. I do want to get married later on, and live with her, but basically they the'yre looking for someone to entertain them when they have some free time in their schedules. I dont want that. its the reason I date woman who are older than me(im 40YO). her children are older and are independent and can fend for themselves. If I go out with a woman who has a child thats 10YO then that child is priority, and her life revolves around them. if he/she is sick and we planned to go out then it has to be postponed and I dont want that. Im looking for a lady that can make me priority just as much as I can make her priority. I have a very simple consistent and boring life and I like it like that. I dont need drama/action to make me happy. so im available to invest all my time in my partner and I expect the same. there are pluses and minuses. it feels like a meat market at times and I think there needs to be a more dignified way of doing things. you can feel its almost like a competition. too much of an ego game thing and I hate that. many of the woman have huge shopping list of things they look for in a man. an unrealistic list. I think woman expect more from men today but some of these woman are really demanding and I say to myself :"she wont find someone so easily" MANY single woman in the 37-46 age group who have no children and are looking to. where the hell have they been till now? they try to convince me to have children with them. sheesh..awkward. all in all a great experience and I learned a lot in the 4 months. I gained a lot of confidence and opened up a lot when on the dates as im at times the strong silent type. I am now dating someone for about 5 weeks and my profile is off the website. it's archived on their servers so I cant even login. out of respect you dont date and shop at the same time.
madjac74 Posted September 24, 2011 Posted September 24, 2011 as one who has been on jdate for 4 months I can comment on what ive seen. I do look good. so its not only for visually challenged HAHA. im a 6' 205lbs bodybuilder. I have no children and dont care to have any. so I have no luggage and im available at any night. dont get me wrong. I love children and wouldnt mind finding a woman who has her own children. I would love them like they were mine. I was very hesitant and thought online dating is humiliating/embarrassing so it took me some time to get my profile going. I just dont have a chance to meet woman on a day to day basis and doing it in front of the computer and to have a large amount of women to choose from is very convenient. I can filter them according to interests, if they smoke, zodiac sign and other things. many of the woman there are players. I did get feedback that there isnt a great selection of men. many are liars. they dont look like theyre photos, although on the many dates I went on the woman are no better. IOTH have always got "you look exactly like youre picture" or "you look better" . I make it a priority to take photos that are clear and show exactly what I look like. I dont like to be disappointed when I meet some of these ladies that look nothing like theyre photos and so I know how the other side feels, so its important to me. It is addicting, but also frustrating at the same level. finding love is hard. its like a 2nd job. not all are looking for love. some take advantage of the situation for their self pleasure. many are simply looking for something specific. I do like the attention, but I guess thats my self esteem issue that needs it(childhood trauma). If it doesnt go well on a date then back to the site to keep searching. Ive been on many dates in the 4 months Ive been there and I usually end up saying "im sorry, but no, we are not compatible" and I keep looking. Because most of the woman want a convenient relationship and I dont want that. I do want to get married later on, and live with her, but basically they the'yre looking for someone to entertain them when they have some free time in their schedules. I dont want that. its the reason I date woman who are older than me(im 40YO). her children are older and are independent and can fend for themselves. If I go out with a woman who has a child thats 10YO then that child is priority, and her life revolves around them. if he/she is sick and we planned to go out then it has to be postponed and I dont want that. Im looking for a lady that can make me priority just as much as I can make her priority. I have a very simple consistent and boring life and I like it like that. I dont need drama/action to make me happy. so im available to invest all my time in my partner and I expect the same. there are pluses and minuses. it feels like a meat market at times and I think there needs to be a more dignified way of doing things. you can feel its almost like a competition. too much of an ego game thing and I hate that. many of the woman have huge shopping list of things they look for in a man. an unrealistic list. I think woman expect more from men today but some of these woman are really demanding and I say to myself :"she wont find someone so easily" MANY single woman in the 37-46 age group who have no children and are looking to. where the hell have they been till now? they try to convince me to have children with them. sheesh..awkward. all in all a great experience and I learned a lot in the 4 months. I gained a lot of confidence and opened up a lot when on the dates as im at times the strong silent type. I am now dating someone for about 5 weeks and my profile is off the website. it's archived on their servers so I cant even login. out of respect you dont date and shop at the same time. You said you love children but you refer to them as baggage and you need to be a priority over a woman's own children. Do you explain this in your profile or do they have to discover that atrocity on their own?
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